MTG Mad UK Won’t Call Gulf Of Mexico ‘Jewish Space Gulf’ Or Whatever
Wait that's not it.
Fascism, it turns out, is hard. When you are a zero of a human being, a 34-times-convicted felon, a traitor to the Republic, an all around piece of shit, and just one of the dumbest motherfuckers on the globe, Americans and the rest of the world don’t just automatically respect your authority. Lots of them are just laughing at you. Not even 50 percent of American voters chose Donald Trump, and those who did mostly chose him because he was supposed to make their eggs cheaper.
Guess what, bitch can’t even make their eggs cheaper.
And now he’s all over the place doing Nazism to immigrants and trying to cancel birthright citizenship out of the Constitution, and Reagan-appointed judges are already telling him to eat their nutsacks about that.
What part of “eggs” is that?
He tried to HEREBY DEMAND in an executive order that everybody call the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America,” and nobody gives a flying fuck about that either besides how some official maps will change, at least until he dies or leaves office, whichever comes first. (Shhhh, nobody tell him that “America” is actually the entire Western hemisphere, basically. He wouldn’t understand, just like he’s too stupid to understand that Greenland isn’t as big as it looks on maps.)
The UK won’t be calling it “The Gulf of America.” The UK explains that it will change what it calls the gulf if people actually start using the name. Nobody is actually going to start using the name. Nobody that matters anyway. (As if some redneck pigfuck from Flor-gia babbling about “IT’S THE GULF OF ‘MURKA!” is going to change the culture LOL.)
The Telegraph explains that the gulf is an international body of water, and several countries have coastlines that abut it, not just the US. One of them is, of course, Mexico. The other is Cuba. Haha, let’s start calling it the Gulf of Cuba, just to piss MAGA off.
Anyway, so President Fuckwit McForgotAboutTheEggs can’t actually change the name of the Gulf of Mexico, despite what his little executive order says. And Marjorie Taylor Greene is mad about that. So she, who like her president is dumb as a rock that has advanced stage brain syphilis, is trying to pass a bill through Congress that would change the name of the international body of water called the Gulf of Mexico:
“We rename post offices all the time this isn’t complicated.”
As we said, she’s just dumb as absolute pigshit.
The Associated Press has weighed in on how it’ll be handling this, as well as Trump’s executive order to change the name of Denali in Alaska back to Mount McKinley. Basically, they will call the Gulf of Mexico the fucking Gulf of Mexico, because that’s what the fuck it is. They note that the Gulf of Mexico has been called the Gulf of Mexico for 400 years, but explain that they will acknowledge that El Dumbfuck crossed out “Mexico” with his tiny hands and his big Sharpie and wrote “America.”
As for McKinley, well, presidents actually can change such things, since that whole entire mountain is in Alaska, and Trump hasn’t given Alaska as a love gift to Putin yet. So the AP will use the name. Whatever.
Remember when Barack Obama changed it to Denali, to reflect what native peoples in Alaska call the mountain? Yeah well that hurt the feelings of mediocre white losers like Donald Trump and made them feel small, so Trump had to change it back to the name of the white president who never visited the mountain, who didn’t give a shit about the mountain, who probably wouldn’t have pissed on the mountain if it was on fire, and despite how lawmakers in Alaska — a red state — didn’t want it changed back. When your masculinity is as fragile as Donald Trump’s, this is the kind of shit that matters to you.
Anyway, you can still call it Denali, as will we, and as will people in Alaska. We will obviously still call the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of Mexico.
And we will call Donald Trump a weak, sad convicted felon and adjudicated rapist, a coward, an absolute dumbass, a sad little starfucker for dictators who think he’s an excitable, easily manipulated moron, a pathetic loser and whatever other mean and nasty names we want to call him that day.
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Can't wait to see Trump's face when Cubanos start calling Texas "El Estado libre y soberano de Coahuila y Tejas" or when that lump of land on the West Coast south of Oregon gets its name returned to the original "Alta California" and Canadian surfers start talking about heading down to Alta to catch some waves.
What a fucking maroon.
The Gulf of America is in empathy and knowledge.