223 Comments

I disagree with all the well meaning helpful commenters. We sad fatties have to stick together, just like our fat, sweaty thighs stick to the leather chairs we manage to sit on without breaking, usually. We could even have a gathering of sad fatties if only we could fit through the doors. We could have regular weigh-ins, if only they had meeting rooms near the truck scales on the interstate. We could try not to wear those sweatpants, understanding that "no one needs to see that." We can co-write "The Sad Fatty's Diet," which would include "Spend lots of time writing comments on mommy blogs--great exercise for the wrists." (ps you aren't fat, or sad, or hateful.) (I am.)

Expand full comment

Nah, you're funny and secretly a bit nice. And if that's your picture, you aren't fat. Now you're making me agree with the commenters. My only question is WHY fat takes so long to decrease? My body likes to hold on to it.

Expand full comment

There's a song to help: https://www.youtube.com/wat...

Expand full comment

Except that's the actual word he used. Grabbing someone's vagina would be a really hard thing to do, as it's an internal organ...it would involve surgery. Perhaps the word you're looking for is "labia?"

Expand full comment

His mom's name was Ono.

Expand full comment

"It's spelled Luxury Yacht, but it's pronounced Throat wobbler mangrove."

Expand full comment

He's a very silly man, and I'm not going to interview him!

Expand full comment

Remember a day or so ago, someone was asking us to come up with a slogan for 2016? I think we just found the winner!

2016: The undorsement year.

Expand full comment

Let the circular firing commence.

Expand full comment

That would still sound like crap-oh.

Expand full comment

They ARE pretty adorable!

Expand full comment

That's very sweet of you, DDV. Thank you so much!

Expand full comment

Neither am I.

Expand full comment

I have a friend with epilepsy. Her neurologist would love to prescribe cannabanoid oil for her. We just passed medical marijuana, and the lege says it'll take two years to figure out who can grow it, who can sell it, and where people can buy it.

Jesus Fucking Christ on a Cracker!

Expand full comment

And he stood up to the Joker.

Expand full comment

Let me go shed all my crocodile tears.

Expand full comment