240 Comments

A legal underclass. This is a return to Jim Crow.

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I'd prefer Captain America myself.

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What if a young woman who might have cured cancer was forced out of school by a pregnancy, and instead works at Wal-Mart?

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They can't quit it

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Being a crazy baldhead myself, this is probably my favorite part of the Bible.

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Except in Onan's case.

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Also an excellent choice.

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AT first, I was like "wow, that is one helluva choice for a pet when you're already working that hard" and then my brain remembered to actually work, and I felt so dumb that I had to share! YAY!

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I heard it even SMELLS bad. Like, from the corn syrup factories or something. Way to make Jersey work for it's labels.

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I think only human women and a couple types of whales even HAVE menopause. We are the only species in the entire world that clearly evolves and stays alive better with extra older ladies around.

Every other species on earth can have babies til they (when they) die.

I'm with you :) I have a VERY old dog, but otherwise, I'm free as a bird, with absolute loads more money than most of my friends.

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The reason why Nebraska’s population hasn’t grown is because it’s fucking Nebraska and people try to get the fuck out of there as soon as they are able.

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You’re not the first to suggest that John the Baptist was the true messiah, but I guess coming back from decapitation was harder.

Actually, the whole that he and Jesus were cousins was probably an invention of the author of Luke. None of the other gospels mention it.

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And how is it that these foreigners ended up in Nebraska? Did they see job postings on Indeed? Or were they lured there by unscrupulous business owners who talk out of both sides of their mouth, who on one hand decry illegal immigration while paying traffickers large sums of money to bring them fresh and cheap labor?

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And we’re repealing child labor laws so they’ll work for us sooner

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Losing one's head can be a bit of a buzzkill in the whole "resurrection" angle.

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I was in Nebraska 20 years ago and there were things I learned. Corn is only for cows, they don't grow corn for people to eat. People thought Dominos was how Pizza was supposed to taste. There is nothing to do there in the summer. Nothing.

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