Nervous Glances At Urinal Descend Into Fisticuffs Between DeSantis And Trump At The Makeup Mirror

And they say women are too emotional for politics.

There’s a fucktussle afoot in MAGAworld today as spokesweirdos for Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis duke it out to see which of them can be the most embarrassing person on what was once Twitter.

In the governor’s corner is Christina Pushaw, an internet troll so brain-poisoned by memes that she consistently fails to appreciate that normal human beings might see that shit IRL and be offended. Like, say, rabbis getting pissed off because she suggested that Nazis parading around Florida shouting anti-Semitic slurs were actually Democratic plants. Or gay people who don’t appreciate being told that if they oppose a law that allows public schools to acknowledge their existence, they are obviously child molesters. Whether she’s invoking anti-Semitic tropes against the Rothschilds or the Soros family, Pushaw’s brand is being flagrantly offensive and watching the clicks roll in. It was wildly inappropriate when she was the governor’s press secretary inviting disfavored media outlets to cry when they were excluded from official public events, but she’s now been shunted to DeSantis’s moribund campaign where she’s more or less relegated to trying to needle Trump into debating her boss. WHATEVER.

Trump’s standard-bearer Steven Cheung is more of a Baghdad Bob-type hype man. He doggedly pumps out the same statement over and over in response to each and every press query. The indictments are a witch hunt. The Washington Democrat machine is terrified of Trump and cooking up charges to get him. Biden is the real criminal. Rinse and repeat.

These two PR geniuses faced off this morning in a proxy dick-measuring contest, with a healthy dose of gay and trans bashing mixed in, just to message the base.

It started yesterday with Trump mocking DeSantis for his sweaty, makeup-laden debate performance.

“The only thing missing in action at the debate was DeSanctus’ personality and ability to connect with voters. Instead, he was on his tippy toes trying to appear taller and slathering on makeup during commercial breaks. His team loves to ask on X, ‘can a man be a woman?’ Maybe they should ask their own candidate for an answer.”

Astute observers will note that Trump himself never leaves the house without slathering on a layer of foundation that would make Tammy Faye Bakker blush. Reportedly his horror at smearing his makeup on the straps of his mask is what turned the then-president against basic public health protocols. But no matter, because mocking his opponent for looking like a girl always kills with his mouth-breathing supporters.

“Team DeSantis loves to ask, ‘can a man be a woman?’ Maybe they should ask their own candidate for an answer after he was slathering and caking on makeup at the debate,” Cheung echoed on Twitter.

“Oh, so it’s the position of Team Trump that a man can become a woman by wearing makeup?” Pushaw shot back. “Thanks for clearing this up.”

This is consonant with the DeSantis teams attacks on Trump, whom they accuse of being too nice to gay and trans people. (They are very bad at their jobs. Also, life.)

“It’s also the high heel 6” pumps that Ron wears that not doing him any favors,” Cheung snarked.

GET IT? GET IT? GET IT?

See, it’s funny because we all agree that transgender people are a legitimate target for hate, so saying that your opponent wears women’s clothing is not only emasculating, but signals to the base that you are the king gaybasher and not afraid to shout it to the world. It’s like prison rape jokes, which are never not funny!

Well, no, we don’t think they’re funny. But we are not one of Trump’s disgusting, hate-criming supporters, so perhaps we are not the real target audience here. Presumably these two filthy reprobates are still shit tweeting at each other, because it beats earning an honest living.

Okay, enough with these losers.

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