'New Generations,' Same Old Ideas

Your already very exhausting Republican primary Sunday show rundown.

Literally every Republican’s sales pitch to run against Donald Trump

The Republican primary race still seems like a slow march to the inevitable nomination of a twice-impeached, multiple-indicted, former one-term loser and reality show clown.

So let’s dive right in!

No One Can Stop A Criminal Boss!

Donald Trump’s attorney, Alina Habba, appeared on “Fox News Sunday” to defend her client in light of the new indictments regarding his alleged attempts to destroy evidence.

When host Shannon Bream asked Habba about the charges, after reading sworn statements from a former Trump employee at Mar-A-Lago, Habba gave what has to be one the worst legal defenses we’ve ever heard.

HABBA: Well, let’s be clear. If there was an attempt by someone who lives in a home, take our President Trump, who owns a company, he owns it. He owns the I.T., he pays for all these employees. IF there was an attempt for him not to turn over documents or he wanted something deleted, do you not think that’s something he couldn’t have gotten done?

So, let’s get this straight: Habba’s defense is that Trump is such a criminal boss that IF he wanted to hide or delete evidence, it would have been?! As in Trump runs such a tight criminal enterprise that he could order obstruction of justice and it would be accomplished successfully??!!

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Habba, seriously, this is not helping your case. Both because your scenario proposes that Trump is too efficient a mob boss to be caught slippin’ and all previous evidence confirms that his organization/administration was a dumber version of Watergate. Hell, Trump’s idea of document deletion was reportedly flushing down the nearest toilet like a common Karen Hill.

My Name Is

On CNN’s “State Of The Union,” it was guest host Kasey Hunt’s turn to waste time talking to Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy.

He did his usual empty, buzzwords-filled schtick and touted his “unambiguous third in this race” bonafides until Hunt rightly put that in perspective.

HUNT: […] But, in this national poll, Donald Trump, the former president, still has 54 percent of Republicans supporting him. And you're in third place, yes, but you only have 5 percent.

Things got a little dicier for Ramaswamy when he was asked to comment on fellow presidential challenger Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s recent controversy regarding his state’s educational teachings about slavery and receiving condemnation even from fellow Republicans of color, such as Sen. Tim Scott from South Carolina.

First, Ramaswamy tried to deflect:

RAMASWAMY: The reality is, I don’t trust the media's filtering of what was in that curriculum, so I’d really want to read it in detail and understand what exactly was being taught.

Then, he tried to minimize this white supremacist rewriting of history:

RAMASWAMY: Obviously, we should be teaching kids about the awful legacy of slavery, but, even more importantly, we're not teaching them enough about the ideals that actually do define this country. Personally, I think the deeper problem in our schools today is many of them teaching young black kids, students and minorities that they're oppressed based on the color of their skin or their genetic attributes. That's the real psychological slavery in the present, and that’s what I have the biggest problem with. But I do think that some of these issues and spats can be distractions from what should Gov. DeSantis or Tim Scott or myself or others actually be debating.

It’s funny that to Vivek Ramaswamy race is a distraction for him. It’s an attitude he demonstrated in what would end up being one of Don Lemon’s last moments on CNN or his many misinterpretations of the term “woke.” But for all the Ramaswamy’s “pull yourself by your bootstraps” and anti-affirmative action rhetoric, it’s amazing to discover that he had no problem using those same programs himself.

In fact, as The Daily Beast reported, it seems Ramaswamy’s positions are especially ironic and hypocritical:

Ramaswamy cheered the Supreme Court’s decision to end race-conscious admissions at Harvard […]But as he made his way through two Ivy League universities, Ramawamy himself benefitted from a generous fellowship intended to provide opportunity and equity to groups who have historically often faced systemic barriers to success. […] In 2011 Ramaswamy was part of the tiny pool of graduate students who had applied for, and received, the [George] Soros Fellowship for New Americans. […] It is earmarked solely for “immigrants and children of immigrants to the United States.”

Vivek is what is commonly referred as a “model minority/pick-me” libertarian. He will take advantage of every program and safety net available while denying it for others, like their hero Ayn Rand. Then he will claim he is from a “new generation,” like an old Pepsi slogan, while serving the same nonsense as former Speaker Paul Ryan. Or even Ryan’s fellow “Young Gun” Speaker Kevin McCarthy

Every few years, the Republican Party tries to sell this idea with a new cover

The difference is Vivek Ramaswamy will do so while proving he has no rhythm or flow while rapping Eminem's “Lose Yourself” or rhyming “trail” with “trail” in a very “spontaneous” freestyle on “Fox & Friends.”

Haley Marys

Former South Carolina Governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley appeared on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” where she received almost 20 minutes for a last-ditch effort to get to double-digit poll numbers.

However, Haley dodged simple questions that host Margaret Brennan had to re-ask several times and took different positions hoping to not anger any of the base.

Haley wants to possibly pardon Trump (for MAGA), but also have a mental acuity test for anyone over 75 (to eliminate Trump and Biden so she can run against Kamala Harris instead). She concedes that classified documents need to be stored better (for the national security Republican wing), claims that Hunter Biden’s laptop needs investigation (for the crazy wing), and opposes DeSantis slavery rewriting while forgetting her own bouts with the same.

At this point, Haley will tell you she will be anything you like, so long as you vote for her.

Have a week.