Janet Napolitano has had a major breakthrough, people! A few days ago, Janet slipped and hit her head on her bathroom sink while trying to drink out of the toilet like an animal does, and bam!, an image ofthe flux capacitora terror alert system with only two terror-colors appeared in her head. It was magic: one color was Elevated, and the other was Imminent. (Janet quickly realized that this new Terror Rainbow would create enough Panic to power her DeLorean torture machine, which she could use to transport Bradley Manning to rape prisons in the
So henceforth when the government says "imminent", we should start thinking about getting our mouths away from the cock, unless we want to deal with the cleanup?
They could have at least created a level called “Everything is cool”, “Have a nice day” or “Relax have a homebrew”. Yeah, I know, I’m an optimist.
Napolitano must have worked at the National Weather Service at one point, because they have a similar idea with hurricane warnings, tornado warnings, etc: have two levels and scare the crap out of people because "watch" and "warning" sound an awful lot alike.
So henceforth when the government says "imminent", we should start thinking about getting our mouths away from the cock, unless we want to deal with the cleanup?
Other rejected threat levels:
"Smoke 'em if you got 'em."
"Go ahead and start looting Wal-Mart."
"Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die."
Sure, like the wind chill factor. Except it would just be chill factor.
Attagirl, Barb. We always want to see the outrageous coming through the wry.
Cuba is preparing to install a new leader: Ry Cooder!
(Or was that a wry cooter? Looking at you, Barbara.)
They could have at least created a level called “Everything is cool”, “Have a nice day” or “Relax have a homebrew”. Yeah, I know, I’m an optimist.
Napolitano must have worked at the National Weather Service at one point, because they have a similar idea with hurricane warnings, tornado warnings, etc: have two levels and scare the crap out of people because "watch" and "warning" sound an awful lot alike.
I'm imagining that the Cubans have a leadership podium with a sign "You must be at least 75 years old for this ride"