NEWS! Fox News Reporter Tries To Gently Explain Biden Didn't Order Trump Assassinated.
No, the piggies have not stopped squealing.
The MAGA lie that Joe Biden ORDERED THE ASSASSINATION! of Donald Trump is the stupidest MAGA lie since “Donald Trump won the 2020 election.” But goddamn, the rubes are buying it, just as their leaders knew they would.
THIS ONE! THIS LIE!
It’s been everywhere in right-wing media, especially on Fox News. Fox Business’s Maria Bartiromo — what would happen if a Muppet had a lovechild with Robert Kennedy Jr.’s brainworm — finds it “so extraordinary!”
Judge Boxwine really has been on one, pretending she’s too stupid to know the FBI has standard policies involving when and where force can be used, and failing to set down her box of wine to even check whether she’s lying when she says, “They didn’t do it against Joe Biden when they seized his records.”
But Fox News still has journalists on staff, and sometimes — SOMETIMES — they do real reporting, even when the rest of their network is huffing bath salts off each other’s asscracks.
Jacqui Heinrich, the reporter Tucker Carlson wanted fired when she factchecked some Trump lies about Dominion and election rigging, drew the short of that straw this time.
And oh, dang, look what she found out, Judge Jeanine, you slurring dipshit:
Oh shit, Sleepy Joe tried to assassinate himself!
Here is the full text of that Fox News reporting:
NEWS: FBI SEARCHES AT PRESIDENT BIDEN'S HOMES ALSO INCLUDED DEADLY FORCE POLICY (which is standard) A person familiar with the Hur investigation confirms that the standard Department of Justice policy statement regarding the use of deadly force was also included in the operations order for the searches at President Biden’s residences in Delaware. CONTEXT: yesterday, former President Trump suggested that the Biden administration wanted to kill him during a search of his Mar-a-Lago estate. A fundraising email read, "Joe Biden was locked & loaded ready to take me out". The FBI said standard protocol was followed, no additional steps were taken and there was no departure from the norm. This news about the deadly force policy also being in place for the FBI searches at Biden's homes underscores that point.
This is one of the things the piggies have been squealing (baselessly) the whole time, that the searches of Biden’s homes did not include the policy. Of course it did, because it’s standard. (And again, Trump wasn’t even present during the search of Mar-a-Lago, which the FBI knew.)
But if something had gone squirrelly and sideways at either place — like if one of Trump’s stupid rent-a-cop minions went rogue, or if Hunter Biden’s penis was at Joe’s Wilmington house and it turned into a monster and AIYYYYEEEEEEE! — then policies are in place.
Heinrich followed up with a simple confirmation from the FBI, that it followed its own standard protocol:
And a confirmation from AG Merrick Garland, who also confirmed it was the standing protocol during the search of Joe Biden’s Delaware house:
Does that settle things, when Fox News reports it out? Of course not. MAGA Americans are too far brainwashed, and far too stupid.
A sample of Heinrich’s replies:
“Sorry, but I don’t believe anything this FBI says! I’d ask for proof!”
“Release a copy of it then.”
“Trying to play that ‘confirmed’ game of citing each other LAUGHING UNTIL CRYING EMOJI LAUGHING UNTIL CRYING EMOJI LAUGHING UNTIL CRYING EMOJI”
“Not when it’s the executive branch and secret service is involved, dig a little more Jacqui”
“Until I see it like I've seen Trump's, it doesn't exist. There is no standard operating procedure for raiding a former president's home.”
“Need the paperwork”
“Now we know how the Nazis got Germans to load the trains. It’s standard procedure for all the Jews to get on. Don’t worry, it’s all been coordinated so pack em in. It’s misinformation to suggest this isn’t all very normal.”
“Only thing better would be if you said, ‘ Suckers and losers’ hoaxer, Jen Griffin confirmed your ‘reporting.’ Lol”
It’s just hundreds of replies like that. These syphilitic brain fistulas are physically unable to grasp the magnitude of what they don’t understand about the world.
They’re demanding she “release a copy” of standard FBI operating protocol that’s existed forever. They’re inventing imaginary procedures for raiding former presidents’ homes, as if those are any different from any other procedures. The laughing-until-crying emoji, the international symbol for “I am confused and angry,” is everywhere.
Oh, and as for that last one where they’re mocking Heinrich because Jen Griffin confirmed her reporting, well, Jen Griffin is one of the few other Fox News reporters who often has to have these hard conversation with the human Dr. Pimple Popper excavations who watch Fox.
What a sad, moron country we live in.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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I’m ending this with a different emoji set 😖😩🇺🇸☹️
Color me a little disappointed, I read somewhere that Presidents can murder people every waking hour and be totally immune from prosecution.