NFL To Harrison Butker, In So Many Words: Shut Up And Kick

Oh, does the conservative Catholic lunatic who kicks the ball have an opinion?

May 16, 2024

There’s something about Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker’s beard. It doesn’t say “I’m a sexy guy with facial hair.” There’s something off about it. It seems to instead say, “In my Christian men’s group of 100 percent heterosexual husbands, we agree that beards are a sign that you are the patriarch of your wife and children, who are required by law to obey you.” It says, “Is today the day I cut off my wife’s finger for asking permission to read the Bible? Only God knows His plans!”

It is not the good kind of beard.

Here are a couple quick updates on that piece of shit, after he gave a now-viral graduation speech to uber-lunatic Benedictine College where he told the women graduating that they were the victim of “diabolic” lies that told them they should want to achieve things in life besides getting in the kitchen and making him (or perhaps the graduating men) a sammich. And called Pride Month a “deadly sin.” And whined about the “cultural emasculation of men,” because that is always part of these little bitching/bellyaching sessions. And started crying like a little loser about how his wife’s life didn’t REALLY begin until she started breeding on his behalf.

There’s a reason #FreeIsabelle has been trending on Twitter.

The NFL responded by condemning Butker’s remarks so fast, half the news organizations just added their statement to the original story about Butker’s garbage speech.

“Harrison Butker gave a speech in his personal capacity,” Jonathan Beane, the NFL’s senior vice president and chief diversity and inclusion officer, said in a written statement. “His views are not those of the NFL as an organization. The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger.”

In other words, shut up and kick.

There was also this statement from former Kansas City commissioner Justice Horn, who said, "Harrison Butker doesn't represent Kansas City nor has he ever. Kansas City has always been a place that welcomes, affirms, and embraces our LGBTQ+ community members.”

Our favorite reaction, though, has been from the Los Angeles Chargers, which used its schedule release announcement video to show Butker in a kitchen, setting a fire. Yep, they put him in the kitchen. It’s at the end, you’ll have to watch it all.

During his speech, Butker dismissively referred to his “teammate’s girlfriend” (Taylor Swift), who sang in her song “Bejeweled” that “familiarity breeds contempt.” She was right, as usual. Now that we are familiar with him, we have nothing but contempt for him.

Looks like that’s how pretty much all normal people feel too.

[Daily Beast / CBS News]