Nice Time! Dems Busting Ass To Goose The Youth Vote

Happy voter registration day, everybody!

Happy voter registration day, everybody! Are you registered? Have you checked your registration online to make sure the Georgia elections board didn’t steal it like the Grinch? It’s so easy to get hyperfocused on all of the crappy, racist, scammy, scummy stuff that Trump and Vance are into, so how about a nice time about how Kamala Harris, Tim Walz and other Democrats are busting ass today to reach young voters?

Tim Walz is holding two events today, in Georgia and North Carolina, and his wife Gwen will be holding a youth voter registration event in Nevada. These sexagenarians have got a lot of energy. Have you seen Gwen speak? She’s quite good! Yet she doesn’t seem to get much ink, probably because she doesn’t ramble bananas stories about people eating pets, or Hannibal Lecter getting electrocuted by sharks with laser eyes. She talks about normal things, like how neighbors shovel each other’s driveways and look out for each other, and all students should have chances to succeed. YAWN! Vanessa Bayer should play her on SNL, which we mean in the best possible way!

Speaking of future SLOTUSes, where is Usha Vance, by the way? The last time we saw her, three weeks ago, her creep-ass husband was making her vegetarian self walk through a butcher shop, which is so on-brand for him. He would totally toss a sheep eyeball into her coffee as a “joke.” But we are not going to talk about that creep in this piece, or how the more you think about Harris and Walz, the Trumps and Vances seem somehow even weirder. Begone, intrusive thoughts!

Instead, how about Tim Walz doing his adorable dad thing with these college white dudebros in Michigan? “Go get ‘em!” Walz tells them. “Talk to your friends! Some of them are going to say, look, I’m not that into politics.’ The answer to that is, ‘too damn bad, politics is into you.”

For sure, the Proud Boys, Blood Tribe et al. probably had their noses pressed to the glass outside at that roomful of white male youths, slobbering like terriers at a yard full of squirrels, sniffing for the aroma of low self-esteem. But these young men seem to be doing just fine! They are talking words and shaking hands like a bunch of real Rory Calhouns.

Young voter turnout could be the key to this whole election-winning thing! A recent US News poll of voters in swing states found that youngs 18-35 support Harris 65 percent, and only 35 percent support the other guy. So they’re getting out there, those Democrats, and talking to the young.

Also today, Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro is hosting an event at Penn State, and younger people Hadley Duvall (brave abuse survivor), John “Jack” Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg (John F. Kennedy’s hot grandson), and Kate Walsh (glamorous actress) will be riding the campaign’s reproductive freedoms bus tour to Temple University in Philadelphia. 

And speaking of glamor, the youths are also going crazy for Harris-Walz merch, which according to Vogue was a must-have for New York fashion week last week. Especially the hats, which people say is based on Chappell Roan merch, because I guess she invented camo or something? Biden didn’t have any viral fashion hits in 2020, and he still won, just saying.

Enthusiasm is high, and Dems are out there, pounding the dirt and putting in the work! So don’t let all that other crap get you too down, now, you hear?

[The Hill]