'Alpha Male' Revives Six-Year-Old Starbucks Boycott In Bid To Win War On Christmas

They've already lost.

Hey! So, remember all the way back in 2016 when then-unknown internet evangelist/complete Joshua Feuerstein went on a rant on Facebook about how Starbucks was attacking Christianity because the plain red holiday cups they came out with that year were not sufficiently festive? And how rather than call for a boycott, Feuerstein went the traditional right-wing route of actually encouraging his followers to go out and buy Starbucks ... and then "trick" the baristas into being forced to wish them a Merry Christmas by telling them that their name is Merry Christmas so they would write it on the cup?

Well, some other dude is stealing his schtick now. Nick Adams, whose whole deal is loving Donald Trump, claiming to be an alpha male and encouraging parents to take their children to Hooters (while of course being very upset about how drag queen brunches supposedly "sexualize" children), is now calling for a boycott of Starbucks over the plain red cups that they actually do not have this year.

“We need to fight the war on Christmas with everything we've got, from the soles of our feet to the tops of our heads. It must be confronted, destroyed, and relegated to the dustbin of history. BOYCOTT STARBUCKS!”

— Nick Adams (Alpha Male) (@Nick Adams (Alpha Male)) 1670015923 

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that this is somehow not a parody. And a poorly done parody at that!

G’day guys, Nick Adams here, I wanna speak about Starbucks and the war on Christmas.

Now I don’t know when the last time you went to a Starbucks was, but I’m gonna tell you that they’ve got these little red cups that they’ve just come out with — red cups this year!

You know what’s on these red cups? Absolutely nothing. No nativity imagery, no Merry Christmas, no manger — absolutely nothing. Starbucks is a very clear proponent of the greater war on Christmas, that seeks to eliminate God from Christmas, take Christ out of Christmas and turn it into some secular, navel-gazing, namby-pamby garbage.

Well I don’t know about you but I’m not gonna stand for it.

When President Trump was the president, everybody said “Merry Christmas” and I loved it! Now that Biden is the president, we never hear “Merry Christmas” anymore, it’s always “Happy Holidays.”

Let me make this very clear. Alpha males say “Merry Christmas!,” beta males say “Happy Holidays.”

We need to fight, we need to confront this war on Christmas with everything we've got, from the soles of our feet to the tops of our heads. The war on Christmas must be confronted and then destroyed, relegated to the dustbin of history where it richly belongs.

I invite you to join me on that fight, I invite you to join me on boycotting Starbucks, the “woke” organization that has got a red cup meaning absolutely nothing.

Manly men do not drink coffee unless there is a goddamned manger on the cup.

I kind of want to know who the people are who say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" based on who the president is. It almost seems like this is a thing he just made up, like the plain red cups that Starbucks doesn't actually have this year.

Evidence! 

It's also pretty funny that he thinks Starbucks is a "woke" company, given the fact that the biggest Starbucks story this year has been all the union busting.

Frankly though, I am just unimpressed with the effort this year from our foes in the War on Christmas. Recycling old outrages over plain red cups that aren't even a thing this year? Really? No new material? There's not like, a children's cartoon that mentions the existence of another holiday you wanna be mad at? Or some other place you'd like to stick a manger that does not currently have a manger? Surely Hallmark is failing them in some way. What about overworked store clerks?

It seems like they're just going through the motions, like their heart isn't in it anymore. They're just doing the same thing every year and nothing changes ... except for the fact that the nonreligious population keeps growing. Heck! The Associated Press even ran an article today about how we are even starting to wield some clout in politics . Judging by the way things are going, I'm inclined to believe that we actually may have already won the war on Christmas that we weren't really fighting to begin with! Sorry, alpha males.

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