Of Course The QAnon Shaman Is Running For Office. Why Wouldn't He Be?
This is the world we live in now.
Jacob Angeli-Chansley, better known as the QAnon Shaman (though he prefers to be called America’s Shaman, thank you very much), filed paperwork with the Arizona Secretary of State's Office on Thursday announcing his intent to run as a Libertarian (natch) in Arizona’s 8th Congressional District.
Chansley was released into a halfway house this past March after serving 27 months of his 41-month sentence for his part in the January 6 insurrection, and has since been very vocal about the fact that all of his contrition over his actions that day were total bullshit, especially the part where his lawyer made him blame Trump for what he did.
He now claims that, actually, the January 6 insurrection he was literally filmed participating in, shirtless and wearing a large fur hat with horns, was a psyop by the FBI to make Trump and his supporters look bad. Don’t think about that one too hard, because it will get you nowhere.
Rep. Debbie Lesko, who currently represents reliably Republican district, has said she will not be seeking reelection, and Chansley is just one of a number of very exciting candidates vying for the seat — including haunted Victorian doll Blake Masters, Trent “The Female Body Has Ways To Shut That Whole Thing Down” Franks — who resigned in disgrace from that very seat in 2017 following a sexual harassment scandal involving his inability to stop talking about his and his wife’s surrogacy plans, Chansley’s fellow January 6 participant Sen. Anthony Kern of Glendale, along with Seth Coates, Isiah Gallegos, Jimmy Rodriguez, Rollie Stevens, and Brandon Urness.
Candidate Rollie Stevens, I very desperately need to point out, is a country and western singer who has promised to perform a full concert with every speech he gives. Rudely, dude does not have a single “music video” available for me to watch on YouTube, but he does have a few that are just his songs. Naturally, I have decided to share with you the one titled “Beer Drinking Women.”
He says he wants to “bulldoze bad government” and is also “building a tourism destination in Wickenburg AZ, Gold Mine Experience!” My heart. (You all should know by now that I love it when they sing)
But back to the Shaman.
What I find interesting about him these days is that, while at one point all of the QAnon people were very certain that he, himself, was a CIA or FBI plant on a mission to make them all look bad, the consensus now seems to be that he is “part of the plan,” or at least on the side of the “white hats.”
How the times have changed!
Look, Debbie Lesko won that seat with 96.5 percent of the vote. A Democrat is not winning that seat. Clearly, the best we can hope for is someone who is hilarious, ineffective and largely embarrassing for the GOP — and that someone seems like it’s gonna be Chansley. Or the singing guy. One of the two.
What if Chansley and the singing guy get gay married and agree that whichever one wins the seat, they'll both be there, together, working as one for AZ?
That's the future I'm fighting for.
♫ American Shaman,
Stay away from me,
American Shaman,
Buddy, let me be.
Don't come hangin' 'round the Capitol door,
I don't wanna see your horned helmet no more,
We all got more important things to do,
Than spend our time going nuts with you. ♫