Just kidding, no he hasn't. The Internet merely ran one of its "Newt Gingrich will suspend his campaign any day now" stories that it has run once every other week since February. Even these were starting to dwindle due to a pressing lack of media interest, so a Newt spokesman had to go and swear oaths before the reporters that it
The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.
"Romney called the former House speaker this morning to say he would welcome his endorsement, should Gingrich choose to end his campaign."
Newt, however, did not get the message, because the last check he sent to his cellphone provider bounced.
This is the perfect Ole Newt story: It's "news" that he's thinking he might maybe do something in the future.
I can't call it a joke because it isn't funny - just sad.
Does anyone else remember when he went to NYC to kiss Donald Chump's ring, and Ole Newt announced that Chump was presenting a special "Celebrity Apprentice" program for inner city kids? What ever came of that?
He'll make it formal next Tuesday, just in case anyone wants to beg him to stay in or send him money. And it takes a while to round up a balloon to make a grand exit, like the Wizard of Oz did at the end of the movie.
A few of my favorites for the road... <a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/newt-derp.jpg" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver...">http://i1115.photobucket.co... <a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/newtspiration.jpg" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver...">http://i1115.photobucket.co... <a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/reagan-newt-supplyside-laffer.jpg" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver...">http://i1115.photobucket.co... <a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/newtfearfactor-1.jpg" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver...">http://i1115.photobucket.co... <a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/newtie.jpg" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver...">http://i1115.photobucket.co... <a href="http:\/\/i1115.photobucket.com\/albums\/k551\/denniverse\/gop-douche.jpg" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://i1115.photobucket.com/albums/k551/denniver...">http://i1115.photobucket.co...
The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment&rsquo;s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won&rsquo;t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.
&quot;Romney called the former House speaker this morning to say he would welcome his endorsement, should Gingrich choose to end his campaign.&quot;
Newt, however, did not get the message, because the last check he sent to his cellphone provider bounced.
Vladimir Putin.
Now, ask us a hard one.
More time with his latest family. Because family values.
I want to know what he called him.
&quot;being launched from&quot;?
Although you got the parts right (Newt, young blonde, rocket, launch), that&#039;s a major prepositional phrase fail.
i come to bury newtie not to praise him.
this is actually true.
i haz a sad.
mittens is starting to fry my very last nerve.
This is the perfect Ole Newt story: It&#039;s &quot;news&quot; that he&#039;s thinking he might maybe do something in the future.
I can&#039;t call it a joke because it isn&#039;t funny - just sad.
Does anyone else remember when he went to NYC to kiss Donald Chump&#039;s ring, and Ole Newt announced that Chump was presenting a special &quot;Celebrity Apprentice&quot; program for inner city kids? What ever came of that?
The voters dropped Newt like a first wife.
He&#039;ll make it formal next Tuesday, just in case anyone wants to beg him to stay in or send him money. And it takes a while to round up a balloon to make a grand exit, like the Wizard of Oz did at the end of the movie.
His Jewish sugar daddy must have cut him off from his Tiffany whore diamond money.
Wonkette staff, in the future would you please use the picture of Newt petting a goat? It was so much more appropriate for this fat goat fuck.
Thank you, F Knocker.