338 Comments
founding

What is wrong with that man's mouth? Does he spend a lot of time making those hideous duck-face selfies? Were his lips caught in the combine back home in one of those tragic farm accidents? Did he try to kiss a belt sander?

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Ta, Evan. Yes, Dean, we await your "vigorous" campaigning for OHJB, but none of us will hold our breath.

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Dean Phillips wouldn't even be considered as a backstabbing turncoat on "24" because his coat's already turned and he's stabby right to everyone's face.

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“from a self-awareness professional” is the “the jerk store called and they’re running out of you!” of politics.

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Dean Phillips is the Marianne Williamson and the Jill Stein of spoiler candidates.

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"I know you are but what am I?"

You know, only one of you promised to drop out and support the frontrunner on exactly this day Dean.

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founding

Remind me again, how many years was Dean on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee?

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yeah, dean, you are THAT MAN we will all be looking to when we finally realize that OHJB is not gonna be the candidate PPPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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4 years from now when he's term limited.

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This dude is giving off strong man-child Musk vibes.

And in case he's reading, that's not a compliment.

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This motherfucker thinks that by holding out he's going to get the keynote at the convention.

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Yeah, thanks for nothing, Ice Cream Man. Fuck off with your help, vigorously or otherwise.

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Nikki Haley, who actually won 2 primaries and had respectable showings in most, drops out before Dean Phillips does. Is it just me being a feminazi or does he have testosterone poisoning?

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founding

delusions of grandeur, it is a sad spectacle to watch.

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founding

Well that was easy.

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> I will then campaign for them as vigorously as I'm campaigning now.

Would anyone even notice?

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That sort of reminds me of another failed candidate who, long after he was mathematically eliminated, eventually dropped out then pledged to "campaign vigorously" for the nominee. When he did, he groused about everything then mostly talked about himself and barely mentioned the nominee when he DID campaign for her.

Like that guy, Dean would be of more service just staying home and watching on TV.

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Ohhhhh, maybe Dean can hang out with Kristen Sinema of the Sinema party and they can curtsy and braid each others wigs and dish on all the cute boys at the senate cafeteria....

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I'm assuming the House and Senate have separate food service facilities and neither side trespasses in the others.

Otherwise, what would be the point of being a Senator? Six years of replaying the food fight scene in Blazing Saddles every day?

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