322 Comments
User's avatar
Revenant's avatar

What is wrong with that man's mouth? Does he spend a lot of time making those hideous duck-face selfies? Were his lips caught in the combine back home in one of those tragic farm accidents? Did he try to kiss a belt sander?

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Yes, Dean, we await your "vigorous" campaigning for OHJB, but none of us will hold our breath.

Megan Macomber's avatar

Dean Phillips wouldn't even be considered as a backstabbing turncoat on "24" because his coat's already turned and he's stabby right to everyone's face.

rmontcal's avatar

“from a self-awareness professional” is the “the jerk store called and they’re running out of you!” of politics.

Inforia's avatar

Dean Phillips is the Marianne Williamson and the Jill Stein of spoiler candidates.

Stulexington's avatar

"I know you are but what am I?"

You know, only one of you promised to drop out and support the frontrunner on exactly this day Dean.

Uncle Milburn's avatar

Remind me again, how many years was Dean on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee?

Gammarae's avatar

yeah, dean, you are THAT MAN we will all be looking to when we finally realize that OHJB is not gonna be the candidate PPPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stulexington's avatar

4 years from now when he's term limited.

WeaverSix's avatar

This dude is giving off strong man-child Musk vibes.

And in case he's reading, that's not a compliment.

House of the Blue Lights's avatar

This motherfucker thinks that by holding out he's going to get the keynote at the convention.

OG Blockhead's avatar

Yeah, thanks for nothing, Ice Cream Man. Fuck off with your help, vigorously or otherwise.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Nikki Haley, who actually won 2 primaries and had respectable showings in most, drops out before Dean Phillips does. Is it just me being a feminazi or does he have testosterone poisoning?

Revenant's avatar

delusions of grandeur, it is a sad spectacle to watch.

SterWonk's avatar

> I will then campaign for them as vigorously as I'm campaigning now.

Would anyone even notice?

Frank Lee's avatar

That sort of reminds me of another failed candidate who, long after he was mathematically eliminated, eventually dropped out then pledged to "campaign vigorously" for the nominee. When he did, he groused about everything then mostly talked about himself and barely mentioned the nominee when he DID campaign for her.

Like that guy, Dean would be of more service just staying home and watching on TV.

Rank Member's avatar

Evan, now to pab next. It worked.