Oops, OK Schools Head Ryan Walters Showed Ed Board Big-Bush Nakey Lady Porn
And now state senators want to save Ryan's private pornvats!
HoooEEE, proud Christian Nationalist MAGA and Oklahoma State Superintendent of Public Instruction yeehaw Ryan Walters done got the Oklahoma state Senate all upset! Not about those Lee Greenwood Trump Bibles he made taxpayers buy, or the Oklahoma school system’s abysmal 50th-place ranking, how he’s dropping state money on a scammy online “charter school,” or trying to make everybody in the school system watch a video of him praying for Trump, or any of the other stupid shit he’s wasting tax dollars on and getting sued left and right about.
The Oklahoma Senate doesn't care about any of that! But they are superintendent-probing mad over allegations that Walters made members of the state Board of Education see images of nakey ladies in a meeting, in what sounds like one of those “tried to share the window, shared the whole screen instead” kinds of moments. Or he did it on purpose to sate some kind of fetish, which one can’t entirely rule out, either, especially with that guy! Or maybe he was hacked by the Deep State and it was planted by haters, who can say?
The porn was reportedly “retro,” with lots of pubes implied. Bushels of spinach and termaters! And intercourse was not involved, thank Jesus. Related an aghast board member who saw the screen, Becky Carson, to NonDoc:
“I was like, ‘What am I seeing?’ I kind of was in shock, honestly. I started to question whether I was actually seeing what I was seeing,” Carson said. “I was like, ‘Is that woman naked?’ And then I was like, ‘No, she’s got a body suit on.’ And it happened very quickly, I was like, ‘That is not a body suit.’ And I hate to even use these terms, but I said, ‘Those are her nipples.’ And then I was looking closer, and I got a full-body view, and I was like, ‘That is pubic hair.’ Even right now, I couldn’t even tell you what I was watching.
“I was so disturbed by it, that I was like — very loudly and boastfully, like I was a parent or a teacher — I said, ‘What is on your TV? What am I watching?’ He was like, ‘What?”
What? What?
NIPPLES, RYAN, NIPPLES! You made that poor Christian woman look at, and then say out loud the word nipples! In reference to human ones, too! Boastfully seems like the wrong word, there, but who are we, the board of ed?
Carson confronted Walters, and he barely reacted at all:
“He was like, ‘What? What are you talking about?’
“He stood up and saw it. He made acknowledgment that he saw it,” Carson recalled. “And I said, ‘Turn it off. Now.’ And he was like, ‘What is this? What is this?’ So he acknowledged it was inappropriate just by those words. And he was like, ‘I can’t get it to turn off. I can’t figure out how to turn it off.’ And I said, ‘Get it turned off.’ So he finally got it turned off, and that was the end of it. He didn’t address it. He didn’t apologize. Nothing was said.”
Reported another witness, Ryan Deatherage, there were “multiple nude women on the screen and some sort of “chiropractic table.” Deatherage was baffled by Walters’ non-reaction to the situation: “I don’t know if he turned it off or switched the channel, I don’t remember. I was surprised that when he came back to the table, he was not apologetic. I didn’t ever hear an apology for that being on, and he didn’t seem to be fazed that it was on.”
AWK. WERD.
Walters claims that none of any of that ever happened, the Board members are liars, and the whole story is a conspiracy by some shadowy establishment of haters who can’t handle what a radical change agent he is. He posted on X:
“Any suggestion that a device of mine was used to stream inappropriate content on the television set is categorically false. I have no knowledge of what was on the TV screen during the alleged incident, and there is absolutely no truth to any implication of wrongdoing. These falsehoods are the desperate tactics of a broken establishment afraid of real change. They aren’t just attacking me, they’re attacking the values of the Oklahomans who elected me to challenge the status quo.”
And his spokesman Quinton Hitchcock blasted a reporter from the Oklahoman: “Any number of people have access to these offices, you have a hostile board who will say and do anything except tell the truth, and now, the Woklahoman is reporting on an alleged random TV cable image. Rock solid truth in journalism."
Woklahoman, very based, sir!
Walters is, of course, a rabid book banner, who’s ranted and raved that JOE BIDEN filled school libraries with PORN, and kids in schools are being forced to watch PORN, and he’s overseen the removal of more than 500 books from Oklahoma’s school libraries and classrooms, including famous hardcore PORN like Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner and The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.
From 2023:
When lawmakers asked Walters, what porn are you even talking about? He emailed them a whole bunch of actual porn, with no reference to where it might have come from. Guess he just keeps a lot of it around! Meanwhile, photo ID is required to download porn in Oklahoma. Is a higher barrier to entry for porn leading to more porn hoarding?
Also, when your school system is ranked 50 out of 51, reading too many books is not the problem.
Walters’ rated-R gaffe would merit a mere mirthful chuckle in most of the modern post-Covid virtual offices of today, but Walters is, of course, a raging hypocrite, and the Oklahoma Senate are some of the most prudish Nancies you might ever did hear tell of. They want Walters to turn over all of his electronic devices to a third party, so everybody can know for sure what kind of retro-chiropractor porn he does or doesn’t have in his cache.
Walters continues to maintain that the school board members are just liars. “Some of these board members are blatantly dishonest and cannot hide their political agenda.” Though two who saw the boob-n-pube show were Republican appointees, if anything matters. As sick of his crap as Oklahoma might be, though, the school superintendent is an elected position, Walters is not up for re-election until 2027, and there is no mechanism for removing him before then and giving any relief to those poor, endumbending Okie schoolchildren he refuses to educate.
Anyway, that guy and bushy retro chiropractor porn, huh? We would not have figured!
[Friendly Atheist / NoDoc / Oklahoma Voice / Rolling Stone archive link]
MORE RYAN WALTERS!
"Ryan Deatherage" is the most Metal name for a school official ever.
Deatherage also called for Waters to lose his teaching certificate while he's investigated, also very Metal.
No word on when a DEATHRÄGE album may drop.
(Yes, I know that the umlaut wouldn't be pronounced like "rage" in English. But you gotta have an umlaut, as in Spın̈al Tap)
Click here to see the new face of DEATH RÄGE METAL
https://bsky.app/profile/doktorzoom.bsky.social/post/3luut7dwuh22f
So iiiiinteresting that this guy is neither a drag queen or a trans-person. He should have definitely called Mike Johnson to help monitor his online activities, though.