OPE! Kamala Harris Picks Tim Walz To Be VP Of Calling Those MAGA Bastards Weird
Put him in, coach! Oh, she did.
Tim Walz, the lovable Minnesota dad type governor who says things like “That there guy is a couple cans of cream of mushroom soup short of a full hot dish, and by that I mean he’s a little bitch” — not actual quote, Wonkette entirely made it up, FAKE NEWS, but he can have it in exchange for cash money — is Vice President Kamala Harris’s running mate, according to the newspaper, which is never wrong. (And in the last eight seconds, Harris confirmed it.)
He beat out a field of excellent rivals, all of whom in our own personal estimation would have been fine selections. (Also all of whom were white dudes, because that’s what this veepstakes was.) Indeed, if this rushed running mate reality show taught us anything, it’s that we have enough strong Democrats to keep beating the shit out of Republicans for generations upon generations, if we take advantage of it. (Even more when you think about all the ones who aren’t white dudes!)
Walz has done a lot of really good and progressive things for Minnesota as governor, making good use of the Democratic trifecta voters gave him in 2022 (even if it was only a one-seat majority in the state Senate).
Responding to those who would go after his progressive record, Walz said this to Jake Tapper the other day:
“What a monster. Kids are eating and having full bellies, so they can go learn, and women are making their own health care decisions. And we're a top five business state, and we also rank in the top three of happiness.
“Look, they're going to label whatever they're going to label. He's going to roll it out, mispronounce names to try and make the case. The fact of the matter is, where you see the policies that Vice President Harris was a part of making, Democratic governors across the country executed those policies, and quality of life is higher, the economies are better, all of those things.
"Educational attainment is better. So, yes, my kids are going to eat here, and you're going to have a chance to go to college, and you're going to have an opportunity to live where we're working on reducing carbon emissions. Oh, and, by the way, you're going to have personal incomes that are higher, and you're going to have health insurance.
"So, if that's where they want to label me, I'm more than happy to take the label.”
And this gun-totin’ Midwestern dad brings some interesting biographical bona fides to the table, and we’re not just talking about his hot dish recipe:
Walz’s foray into politics came later in life: He spent more than two decades as a public school teacher and football coach, and as a member of the Army National Guard, before running for Congress in his 40s. In 2006, he defeated a Republican to win Minnesota’s 1st Congressional District — a rural, conservative area — and won reelection five times before leaving Congress to run for governor.
Sounds like he’s ready, on paper and with his smartass mouth.
The question will be what Harris has decided Walz brings to the ticket from a traditional perspective, since he’s not filling the common role of delivering an important state for the ticket. Perhaps the idea is that all these talented gentlemen runners-up, plus Big Gretch, will stump like hell for Harris in their respective states, and Walz has just the right kind of folksy “OPE go fuck yourselves” charm to tie it all together, in a pan-Midwestern sort of way.
Also, the internals must look OK in Pennsylvania.
Walz clearly had the energy and the zeitgeist and the vibes, and he seemed to keep most parts of the Democratic base happy, at least online. Was he the safe pick or a bold choice at the end of the day? Time will tell!
Walz will be hitting the road with Vice President Harris tonight starting in Philadelphia, and embarking on a tour of swing states.
Tim Walz will always have our hearts at Wonkette, since it apparently somehow took him saying on TV a couple weeks ago that Republicans are “weird” for the rest of the media and Democratic Party apparatus to take a second look and agree that Republicans are “weird,” thereby adopting a campaign strategy that Wonkette and a few others have been practicing since God was a baby.
He also has our hearts because he was the guy who started this trend earlier this year:
And then there’s this one:
And this video of Walz and his daughter at the Minnesota State Fair:
In summary and in conclusion:
[Washington Post / CNN]
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My, but that is a handsome pup. He and his "dad" have my vote!
He has an excellent smile, makes you want to smile back. They make a terrific team.