Pam Bondi Puts Sticker On Lindsey Halligan’s Head That Says 'Real Lawyer'
RETROACTIVELY.
Welp, the lawyer who thinks you’re automatically off the record with a journalist as long as you use the fun disappearing messages on Signal, the US attorney in the Eastern District of Virginia who was placed there for the sole purpose of being a big enough idiot to prosecute Donald Trump’s enemies, regardless of whether evidence has been uncovered, she’s in another embarrassing situation.
There’ve been questions as to whether Halligan’s appointment was valid, and James Comey and Letitia James have been arguing through their lawyers in court that it indeed was not, in particular because her immediate predecessor, Erik Siebert, the one who had too much integrity and professionalism to prosecute Comey for imaginary crimes simply because Trump is upset with him, had already finished a 120-day term as interim US attorney. Therefore, say lawyers for Comey and James, Trump isn’t just allowed to appoint a whole new interim US attorney. Also therefore, say Comey and James, the indictments against them should be dismissed with great guffawing and the shortness of breath that follows.
In reply, the US Justice Department says “neener” and now Attorney General Pam Bondi has put a sticker on Halligan’s head that says “Real Lawyer SINCE ALWAYS,” to clear up any confusion over whether she’s supposed to be there.
The Washington Post explains:
Justice Department lawyers on Monday defended Lindsey Halligan’s role as eastern Virgnia’s top federal prosecutor, saying in court filings that even if her appointment as U.S. attorney is ruled invalid, she now has an additional title that will allow her to continue overseeing cases against two of President Donald Trump’s perceived foes.
The department attorneys said Attorney General Pam Bondi designated Halligan last week as a “special attorney” to the Justice Department, assigned to oversee the cases against former FBI director James B. Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James. Lawyers for Comey and James have urged a federal judge to dismiss the charges against them on grounds that Halligan was unlawfully installed as U.S. attorney in September and has no authority to prosecute them.
“Whatever her title, Ms. Halligan is still an ‘attorney for the government’ authorized to conduct grand jury proceedings and sign indictments,” Henry C. Whitaker, a counselor to Bondi, wrote in court filings Monday.
New title, can’t get mad. New title, can’t get mad. Lindsey Halligan is Mommy’s Super Special Deputy Super Lawyer Princess Queen Of The World, and no stinky judge can say she hasn’t been since, um, whatever date it needs to be for the Comey and James indictments to be valid!
So it’s all fine now.
US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, US Attorney from Baywatch, WHATEVER HER TITLE. As long as grand juries keep indicting Donald Trump’s political enemies on hilariously stupid grounds after Halligan goes in there alone and does WHATEVER SHE DOES to get them to say yes. (We imagine she cries or otherwise tricks them into agreeing to the indictment. “Please sign this form agreeing to order pizza for lunch!” and underneath it is the indictment. Or something.)
And this all counts RETROACTIVELY.
Yes, you will note in the court filing below that Halligan’s appointment to this new super special secret Mommy’s Little Helper lawyer title is intended to count RETROACTIVELY back to the date of her original appointment, which is also around the same time we all started making fun of her. It’s also additionally, if you’ll remember, right before the statute of limitations expired on the bullshit charges they decided to bring against Comey against the advice of all the qualified lawyers.
Remember that week how Halligan rushed to get a bullshit indictment out? How Trump was babbling orders to Bondi on Truth Social, excoriating her for failing to prosecute his enemies? And Bondi and Halligan were like “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!” and rushing to indict Comey for something?
In the court filing from Bondi, it says, “I hereby appoint Ms. Halligan to the additional position of Special Attorney, as of September 22, 2025, and thereby ratify her employment as an attorney of the Department of Justice from that date going forward.”
In addition, as the attorney general, Pam Bondi says, “[I] ratify Ms. Halligan’s actions before the grand jury and her signature on the indictments returned by the grand jury in each case.”
So you can all stop arguing in court that Lindsey Halligan’s appointment is illegal, OK? Pam Bondi has retroactively ratified Halligan like a real constitutional thingie, a full month after the indictment of James Comey. All of this is very normal, you just don’t understand it because you’re not a super special ultra-ratified a-month-after-the-fact lawyer like Lindsey Halligan.
All the lawyers in the Trump administration are top-notch, but these two, Halligan and Bondi? Whew.
In response, lawyers and other dickheads on Bluesky are ratifying and retroactively declaring things now. Retroactively declaring Kamala Harris the winner of the US presidency, retroactively declaring themselves lottery winners, saying it’s been ratified.
Yep, that’s how that’s going.
And now we get to see whether the judge is able to remain dignified in the face of this shit, or whether they’ll start laughing like everybody on Bluesky.
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Nunc pro tunc
Coincidentally, today marks 30 years yours truly has been a member of the FL bar.
A kind of Man Who Was Thursday thing, but it's clear from leaks that Trump's miasma of staff hate one another like all good Nazis and so I wonder- do you think they ever realise that it may not be just everyone else that's an incompetent?