398 Comments
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Allan Wood's avatar

I expected the trial transcripts would be pdfs. wtf, court?

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weejee's avatar

Not Sanscrit on clay tablets?

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ColumbusLib's avatar

“Rhona Graff”… “phonograph”… anyone else’s mind glitching every time her name is mentioned? 😂🤪

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Marla's avatar

OK, see here’s the thing.

Most other criminal defendants have their families with them when they’re on trial, some of them for crimes far more heinous than those the Yam is on trial for.

Why isn’t the fair Melania in NY with the Yam so that they could celebrate her birthday together? I’ll tell you why. She can’t stand the thought of being in the same state as he, much less in the same room. And frankly, I can hardly blame her. Although, she’s not much better than he is, when it comes to certain issues. Like having a soul. Or a conscience.

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BECKY's avatar

in her defense....there's probably only so much her agreement with donnie requires, trial attendance isn't included.

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Glennis Waterman's avatar

Also- why aren’t his dutiful sons and daughters attending? Maybe they’re waiting for the bigger deal

Cases?

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RRJKR's avatar

Trump wanted a jury of his "peers", but they just couldn't find 12 people like him. Thank God! One is more than enough.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Oh there are absolutely more malignant narcissistic asswipes out there. They just didn’t have rich daddies, so we never hear about them.

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Some kind of Fred's avatar

>see you next Tuesday!

"Wednesday is my preference" is a comeback I read somewhere recently.

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DemoCat's avatar

“Just one more question. Do you believe Trump is a wonderful husband, father, grandfather, priest, wide receiver, chef, opera singer, scientist and kisser? You’re under oath.”

(Reaches for a tissue) “I do.”

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RRJKR's avatar

Nah. that would be George Santos.

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agony's avatar

I had a complicated marriage, and was not always super happy with my husband. But I'm trying to imagine him being on trial, in a life situation where public perception of him being a good man with the support of his family could be valuable, and not bothering show up.

I really wish Trump was not so fucking pathetic, because I keep wanting to feel sorry for him. He so clearly has nothing of value in his life, nobody loves him, he's so painfully needy - but then I remember how dangerous he is, and how much harm he has caused and will continue to cause. So what do I do with all this compassion I want to feel for the unloved child deep inside him? He doesn't deserve compassion, but oh my god he is so unloved and so pathetic.

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Some kind of Fred's avatar

Help a child who can still be helped. The healthy kind of displacement activity.

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RRJKR's avatar

Trust me, I'm not a "Bible Thumper", but I have read the "Good Book" In most of it's modern translations and I find often that there is a reference in scripture to address many of the perplexities we humans encounter. It is after all an anthology collected over centuries.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:7–9).

Trump is reaping the bitter harvest of the destructive seeds he has sown. Being a good person ,who has sown the seeds of kindness, you are reaping blessings of the Spirit which you feel compelled to share even with an undeserving person like Trump. Quite admirable in my estimation. So, don't feel conflicted, but continue to share your harvest, even with those

who are less than deserving

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DemoCat's avatar

You should feel good about yourself and your kind heart, and maybe just donate some canned goods to a local food pantry. Don’t waste pity on that man.

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SethTriggs's avatar

Very well done on this recap. Even with all the privilege afforded President Klan Robe whines and whines.

Is Laura Loomer still out there? Does she have any dignity left?

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Brilliant recap.

I saw a WSJ headline saying only water is allowed in the courtroom, no Diet Coke. I’m not a monster so I don’t subscribe to WSJ, but I’m curious if this is true, and if so why, and I am all for not letting him have anything he wants.

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Tessie's avatar

“I want to start by wishing my wife Melania a very happy birthday, it would be nice to be with her but I'm in the courthouse"

`

Well, it's not like she's gonna come THERE.

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Pisto75666's avatar

Not without agreed upon terms in advance first!

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Tessie's avatar

"It’s very cold in there, on purpose I believe."

`

Yeah, it's all a plot to let everyone see his nipples sticking out.

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

What would any of us do in his situation? Send the gal who sits behind him printing favorable articles on her mobile printer to the nearest Bass Pro Shop for longjohns.

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Tessie's avatar

How cold could he possibly be?

Setting aside the obvious cracks about his walrus-like layer of subcutaneous fat, he's wearing wool pants, a wool blazer, a long-sleeved cotton shirt, and I assume some kind of underwear T-shirt.

That's plenty for an April day in the 50s, even if the heat were off in the building, which we all know it's not.

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Tessie's avatar

“I want to start by wishing my wife Melania a very happy birthday, it would be nice to be with her but I'm in the courthouse for a rigged trial for paying off one of the side pieces I cheated on her with... Oh, crap; I should not have said that part out loud."

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Tessie's avatar

"They don’t seem to be able to get the temperature up."

`

Yeah, well YOU don't seem to be able to get--

::vaudeville hook comes out of wings and yanks comment offstage::

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BlueStateLibel's avatar

That Melanie necklace - is it supposed to be hearts? A three-leaf clover? Or something obscene? Damned if I can figure it out.

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Major Kong's avatar

It's supposed to be hearts I thought that they look like 3 leaf clovers - "Me Lucky Charms" but our Wonkette pointed out that they look like scrotum (scrota?). Scrotum they are.

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Marla's avatar

Teabags, maybe?

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The Wanderer's avatar

Three hearts, I suppose. Of course, it's like any piece of art - you bring your own preconceptions to it.

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

At least the proceeds are for a good cause.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Marcie does such a wonderful job of making this trial come alive for me. It's like I'm actually sitting there in the courtroom.

Without the Trump stank, of course.

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