Poor Steve Bannon Being 'Tortured' In Prison, Can't Even Watch His 'Special Shows' On TV
According to Rudy Giuliani, that is.
Americans often complain that our federal prison system is just too cushy, often referring to institutions like FCI Danbury as “Club Fed” and grumbling about the fact that conditions there are not as miserable there as they would prefer (though they are still quite miserable).
This is perhaps why, instead of perhaps giving a damn about the fact that most of our jails and prisons — including federal prisons — violate pretty much every international law regarding the humane treatment of prisoners, Rudy Giuliani is complaining that Steve Bannon is being “tortured” by not being allowed to watch television.
Last Tuesday, while hosting Bannon’s “The War Room” show in his stead, Giuliani complained that the former Breitbart chairman was being singled out for poor treatment at FCI Danbury.
Giuliani complained to an as-of-that-time mustachioed Mike Lindell that Bannon would not be allowed to watch the show while he was in prison.
“I ran the Bureau of Prisons in two capacities. First, I was absolutely in charge of it as the associate attorney general for two years under Ronald Reagan, and then I was the chief of staff of the guy who was in charge of it under Gerald Ford,” Giuliani said, suggesting that he is unhindered by the confines of our own space-time continuum. “I do not remember prisoners of his category not having access to television for occasional shows, special shows.”
I’m going to need to point out that this show is not on television, it is on the internet, which no one at Danbury has access to.
“Every once in a while, a prison would get nasty,” Giuliani continued. “I remember having to secure the rights for lifers to see the pope. Imagine not letting them see the pope. I mean, that's ridiculous. Steve Bannon, let me tell you this. Steve Bannon is not being treated the way other prisoners are being treated. His case has been moved from the Bureau of Prisons to crooked Attorney General [Merrick] Garland's office, and they are calling the shots because contacts that I have in the Bureau of Prisons have told me they've been taken out of the case.”
Imagine how lovely it would be if the worst thing that happened to incarcerated people in the United States was not getting to see the pope? Even the worst thing at Danbury?
“He’s being, let’s say, ‘tortured,’” Giuliani said, making air quotes. It is worth noting here that Giuliani was famously unsure if waterboarding was torture or not.
“This election is about a fascist regime,” he said confidently, “and Steve Bannon is prime number one victim.”
That actually seems like a ringing endorsement, if you ask me. Bannon is the “prime number one victim,” and the worst thing that has happened to him is that he can’t watch a show on the internet? That’s pretty impressive, given the worst things that could happen to people if Donald Trump is elected.
In fact, I hope everyone’s worst problem on earth is that they can’t watch the Rudy Giuliani and Mike Lindell Variety Hour. Truly, it would be a blessing unto us all.
If Bannon misses his shows, how will he ever know if Luke and Laura get together?! (yes, that's an 80's reference, seeing as it's pretty much the last time I cared about a soap opera)
For the record, it was always conservatives/Republicans who insisted that jail has to be "tough" (their term for "psychotically hostile") in order to discourage perpetrators and recidivism.
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED.