President Enigma Cankles. Tabs, Friday, July 18, 2025

'We have certain things in common, Jeffrey,' said Donald Trump to his beloved friend.

Jul 18, 2025

tabs gif by Martini Glambassador! Again, have we used this one? No idea. Let’s go with either ‘no’ or ‘yes’!

Good morning, the struggle is real:

Literally nothing about that is an exaggeration. OK, to be fair, we don’t know if Trump is dying of cankles, but Charlotte Clymer notes that this is exactly the first (1st) time Trump 1.0 or 2.0 has ever felt compelled to address something about Stupid Hitler’s health, namely the fact that he suddenly has extremely prominent and unhealthy-looking cankles AND his hand looks like it’s covered in weird bruises. Are they starting to lay the groundwork for Trump to be able to quit the presidency “for health reasons”? That is Charlotte’s conspiracy theory, and we’re not sure she’s wrong. [Charlotte Clymer]

As it happens, we also have a conspiracy theory, which dovetails nicely:

Evan Hurst on Substack: "Yes, Charlotte Clymer, I see your conspiracy theory, and I raise you that it kind of aligns with a conspiracy theory that’s been brewing in MY mind the past couple weeks, namely that with Epstein engulfing Trump’s presidency and his increasingly feeble mind, that the REAL architects of the techno-Hitler Christian nationalist coup that’s in motion — Thiel, Andreessen, Vance, Miller, Vought, others — may be seeing this as their opening to go ahead and dispense with Trump. And I think the Charlie Kirk/Matt Walsh side of MAGA influencer-dom might go along with it. If that happens, we are so much further into the Upside Down than anybody imagined, holy shit."

Now let’s get into the Epstein shit!

Because if you didn’t hear, the Wall Street Journal got ahold of the sexxxy love letter Donald Trump sent his best friend Jeffrey Epstein for his 50th birthday, the one where he drew a booby lady and signed his scrawly ugly name “Donald” to look like the pubic hair, and inside the lady’s body it said:

“Voice Over: There must be more to life than having everything,” the note began.
Donald: Yes, there is, but I won’t tell you what it is.
Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.
Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.
Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?
Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
Donald: A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday — and may every day be another wonderful secret.

Oh God, whatever could they be talking about. “Enigmas” and “another wonderful secret” and whatever “certain things in common” they have that are even greater than “everything.” It is a conundrum wrapped up in a mystery wrapped up in an … enigma! [Wall Street Journal]

He is absolutely wailing freaking out, and even admitting out loud that he tried to pressure Rupert Murdoch to kill this story, which is false, and now he is suing, because of the Epstein Hoax!

Trump on Truth Social: Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump The Wall Street Journal, and Rupert Murdoch, personally, were warned directly by President Donald J. Trump that the supposed letter they printed by President Trump to Epstein was a FAKE and, if they print it, they will be sued. Mr. Murdoch stated that he would take care of it but, obviously, did not have the power to do so. The Editor of The Wall Street Journal, Emma Tucker, was told directly by Karoline Leavitt, and by President Trump, that the letter was a FAKE, but Emma Tucker didn't want to hear that. Instead, they are going with a false, malicious, and defamatory story anyway. President Trump will be suing The Wall Street Journal, NewsCorp, and Mr. Murdoch, shortly. The Press has to learn to be truthful, and not rely on sources that probably don't even exist. President Trump has already beaten George Stephanopoulos/ABC, 60 Minutes/CBS, and others, and looks forward to suing and holding accountable the once great Wall Street Journal. It has truly turned out to be a "Disgusting and Filthy Rag" and, writing defamatory lies like this, shows their desperation to remain relevant. If there were any truth at all on the Epstein Hoax, as it pertains to President Trump, this information would have been revealed by Comey, Brennan, Crooked Hillary, and other Radical Left Lunatics years ago. It certainly would not have sat in a file waiting for "TRUMP" to have won three Elections. This is yet another example of FAKE NEWS! 1.17k ReTruths 3.68k Likes Jul 17, 2025, 8:33 PM

And there was this one where he INSISTED that “I don’t draw pictures,” as a way to pretend the booby lady pube pictures he drew for his best friend Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday wasn’t real.

In response, people started sharing all the doodles Trump ever made for them.

Also, there was this one, where he is telling the notoriously reliable Pam Bondi to “produce” the “pertinent Grand Jury testimony” in the Epstein case, but “subject to Court approval.” As if any of this is about “Grand Jury testimony.”

Based on the ridiculous amount of publicity given to Jeffrey Epstein, I have asked Attorney General Pam Bondi to produce any and all pertinent Grand Jury testimony, subject to Court approval. This SCAM, perpetuated by the Democrats, should end, right now!

In response, this former SDNY prosecutor notes:

Now that everybody — even a lot of MAGA — is paying attention to the things we have known absolutely forever about sicko fucknazi Donald Trump, here is a good and VERY LONG thread of remembering:

Apropos of that thread right there, don’t know how Jeff Bezos’s shitty factchecker managed to see his computer screen to write this, what with his mouth all over Trump’s dick.

Dunno, bud, there’s a thread of what some might consider evidence just above.

JD Vance says this story is just BULLSHIT, pardon his cusses! The Wall Street Journal didn’t even show him the pubic letter Donald Trump sent his best friend Jeffrey Epstein! Just BULLSHIT!

Nick Fuentes, erstwhile Donald Trump dinner date, with a quote about Donald Trump’s Epstein coverup: “Fuck you! Fuck you! You suck. You are fat. You are a joke. You are stupid. You are not funny. You are not as smart as you think you are.” [JoeMyGod]

At my Friday place, we’re talking about something TOTALLY different, namely that Chip and Joanna are being nice to a gay couple and the white Christian nationalists are FREAKING OUT. Come by, subscribe! [The Moral High Ground]

This might not be related to Jeffrey Epstein technically, but dang it is like every single one of these perverted MAGA motherfuckers just absolutely loves protecting pedophiles for some reason:

Stephen Colbert’s show, and apparently the entire Late Show brand — have been canceled, unceremoniously and out of nowhere. (It’ll actually go off the air in 2026.) CBS is saying it was about money, but nobody believes them. Most intelligent people we’ve encountered instead believe this was Paramount’s latest lick of Trump’s ass in its quest to bribe Donald Trump until he loves them enough. [Deadline]

What I thought when I saw that news:

Clymer gets her second appearance in these tabs, because she kept making good points:

Exactly.

Hey, by the way, were you impressed by that thing where Hakeem Jeffries talked for a long time and then went directly back to sucking? Yeah, me neither. Well, have you heard the one about how Democrats don’t want to actually do anything to delay the horrific “rescissions package” currently in Congress? Oh no it gets worse. Meet you below this Solender post:

You see, because as the Axios post right there explains:

OK so, hey Democrats, do you know one way to GET THINGS ON PEOPLE’S RADAR? Open up your fucking cameras on your phones, get somebody to show Meemaw how to use TikTok or how to “go live” on Instagram, and fucking RAISE HELL.

Maybe they could fight against something because it’s wrong, and not just if the base is mad about it! (Here is a good primer on exactly what the rescissions package is and why it’s so horribly fucked up.)

But no, they don’t want to “feed that beast,” by which we guess they mean the “beast” where voters want Democrats to actually act like they’re fighting Nazis, instead of whatever this fucking loser shit is.

Next up, God bless Mehdi Hasan for doing this, but Jesus fuuuuuuuck.

Have you heard the one about what’s happening to all the poor pets being left behind when Donald Trump’s ICE Gestapo comes in and kidnaps their owners? There is no hell hot or eternal enough for the people doing this. [NBC 4 Los Angeles]

This is a song I love anyway, it comes on all the time when I’m at the gym, and it came on in the car earlier and FOR SOME REASON it seemed incredibly appropriate today. Listen (or look up the lyrics) to see if you can find out why!

Evan has a side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!

Follow Evan Hurst on BlueSky!

Are you guys on Instagram? Let’s get that going.

Follow Evan on Facebook.

Here, a LinkTree!

Want to donate just once?

Martini Glambassador

Jul 18Edited

Evan: “Did I use this one yet?”

Me, an ancient knight Templar: “You have chosen… wisely.”

Your hed gif source info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/uni-unites-with-a-box

And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/1b0f5b27-f652-41a8-b487-0cf55d8ed70b?utm_source=share

Expand full comment

22 replies

Jul 18

There’s a whole lot going on, but I say don’t sleep on this one either. Trump using the levers of the government to try to find dirt (he didn’t) and prosecute (there’s no crime here) a political enemy.

———-

Trump’s Vile, Corrupt Attack on Adam Schiff Is Already Backfiring

The real potential scandal in the Schiff mortgage story isn’t his conduct. It’s Trump’s—and that of his bureaucratic loyalists.

This week, President Donald Trump raged on Truth Social that Senator Adam Schiff is guilty of “Mortgage Fraud,” and demanded that he be “brought to justice.” The basis for this claim: Fannie Mae has made a criminal referral to the Justice Department involving several properties owned by the first-term California Democrat.

Many stories on this dutifully reported Trump’s allegations of corruption, and then followed up with Schiff’s response: That the charges are bogus and constitute retribution against a longtime Trump critic who argued the case for his impeachment in the House during his first term.

This framing makes it a story about Schiff’s conduct. But the real story here is Trump’s conduct. It’s how this allegation came to be in the first place. It’s the role that Trump and/or the White House played in getting the federal bureaucracy to arrange events to the point where the president of the United States could pronounce a sitting U.S. senator and political enemy a target for potential prosecution. Understood this way, the story is likely a dry run for much more like this to come.

https://newrepublic.com/article/198074/trump-adam-schiff-corrupt-attack-backfiring

4 replies

559 more comments...

Discussion about this post

Ready for more?