Important trade update in the very important trade dispute between Canada and fellow serious country United States:
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Yes, that is Donald Trump today on TikTok surely amusing the shit out of himself and Natalie by crossing out the name “Lake Ontario” on a map and replacing it with “Lake America.” (“AHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH MISTER PRESIDENT!” Natalie may have said about his “joke,” while scrubbing his bedpan.)
Because Trump’s brain makes late-stage syphilis patients look like Mr. Wizard, he felt the need to clarify that he doesn’t need to use the word “of” when describing this lake, not the way he does with the Gulf OF America. We are surprised he didn’t also feel the need to inform us that there is no “B” in America or Ontario or Lake or Gulf, just like there no longer is a “B” in “dum” because he executive-removed it.
“So this is Lake Ontario, in Canada and in the United States. But we’re gonna make a little change. We’re gonna call it something different than Lake Ontario. We’re gonna call it Lake America. And all it takes is a good pen and some intelligence.
[Trump used his good pen and some intelligence to make the change on the map.]
“So Lake Ontario, that’s gone. Lake America. So now we have a lake, and now we have a gulf, because we have the Gulf of America. Now we have Lake America, without the ‘of.’ Thank you very much, everybody. Enjoy Lake America.”
Enjoy! (Without the “of.”)
Lake America! We have a lake, and we have a gulf! Enjoy the lake and the gulf!
Trump has been making this exact same “joke” all week, because, well, he’s a fucking imbecile.
He said it on Truth Social on Tuesday:
Does any of that make sense? It does not. Was the lake called “Ontario” because of the business we were doing with Canada? It was not. The name comes from the Iroquois and just means “lake of shining waters.” It predates both Canada and the shithole Trump has turned the US into, which means the name of the lake predates the name of the Canadian province.
Which would really mean that calling that lake “Ontario” is as American as it is “Canadian,” by which we mean not really American or Canadian at all. But sure, Trump. Good one, buddy!
That morning, we reckon Natalie thought that post was just too funny (“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARRRRRRRHARRRRRRRRRAWWWWWWHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I WOULD DIE 4 U!!!!!11!1” Natalie might have said, as she carried Trump’s pooped bedsheets to the White House laundry.)
Trump also posted this version of that map on Tuesday. Or maybe Natalie posted it. Let’s be honest, Trump isn’t the one doing Canva here. Christ, we now understand so much more about this White House.
And now we have today’s version, of Trump with his “good pen” and his “some intelligence,” altering the map for himself.
And now he has just followed that up with one of his meaningless, dickless executive orders. Neat. What do presidents do all day?
Trump has also of course been telling another of his constantly repeated “jokes” this week, referring to Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney as “Governor Carney.” (“HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHHAHHAHHAHAH I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE I CAN’T SEE YOUR FACE!” Natalie might respond each and eery time to that “joke,” having a panic attack because she blinked and couldn’t see him.)
As Time magazine explains, Trump can call it Lake America all he wants, he can make as many executive orders as he wants. But that doesn’t affect any of the rest of the world, and we would add that the US’s influence on the world is waning with every passing day. Nobody who will be remembered when they die calls the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.” US news organizations don’t even use it. So fine, whatever.
The Canadian government has not issued a response to this shit, because the Canadian government is not responding to Trump’s social media posts.
As far as the “trade update” — ha ha, as if there is one, like we are a grownup country— Ontario Premier Doug Ford originally responded to all this garbage by referring to Trump as a “loser” (true) and the “king of bankruptcies” (true) and saying Trump can “kiss my ass” (maybe if Natalie holds his wig). But he’s being more diplomatic as the week goes on, though he’s still saying everything is on the table, including shutting off American electricity that Canada so kindly provides. He emphasizes, however, that he can’t do that alone and needs the other provinces to help for it to make a fuck. And even then it’s not like the lights would just go off.
Whinyass US trade buffoon Jamieson Greer is on TV threatening to ban some Canadian imports, and Semafor reported something similar. (Haha, that would be a funny development for the Senate races in Michigan and Maine. Go for it, Trump!) That’s after Canada responded earlier in the week by imposing some tit-for-tat 50 percent tariffs in response to the 50 percent tariffs Trump imposed after he blew up the trade talks this weekend.
MAGA men hate it when their victims fight back. It’s just one of those things about them.
This has been the important trade update, about important trade negotiations, between two countries that are both real, yes both of them, including the one we live in.
The United States will not recover from this shame for a century or more, if ever.
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Oh, he cray
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Trump says he might change the names of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans next
https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mu3fnbvwde2p
Just die already.