Reading Material! Tabs, Tues., May 12, 2026
Learn about all the things!
Good morning, here are tabs!
It’s really crazy how this very serious partisan hack Supreme Court always finds a way to rule that voting rights for white supremacists are good but the rest are bad. It’s like they don’t actually have a “judicial philosophy” beyond racism.
Meanwhile, Democrats in Virginia have asked SCOTUS to overturn the Virginia Supreme Court’s decision striking down their new maps. We are sure they will get right on that. [New York Times]
If you have an abortion this week, name it after Samuel Alito. [AP]
Meanwhile, this anti-abortion whine from Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council about how the Trump FDA is making abortion great again is pretty hilarious. [The Christian Post]
There’s been an article going around about how New Orleans has passed the point of no return when it comes to climate change, that the only way forward now is to start relocating people. This article makes the moral argument that actually “saving New Orleans is not optional.” We really would like to believe there exists the will among good people for the latter to be the right answer for what we agree is “the most important cultural center in America.” (“Sorry, New York,” the authors add.) [Current Affairs]
Did you read this week’s Moral High Ground? You shoulda because we cross-posted it at Wonkette! But if you didn’t and if you didn’t subscribe, you still have time! It is about the golden calf of Donald Trump that his religious adherents would really like you to stop calling a golden calf. (It is a golden calf.) [The Moral High Ground]
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Huh, sounds like Commerce Secretary Howard Nutlick has been less than honest about his very close ties with Jeffrey Epstein all this time! [Politico]
New data says there’s been a 42 percent drop in Canadians visiting major US cities during Trump 2.0, and we doubt that means they’ve decided to do all their honeymoons in Cat Butthole, Oklahoma. It means Trump is making America great again by absolutely drying up the American tourism industry. [Guardian]
Meanwhile, a US citizen has asked for asylum in Spain on the island of Mallorca. Will it get approved? Very unclear, but doubt it’s the last we’ve heard of such a thing. [The Olive Press]
Dr. Oz is saying creepy things about people being “under-babied” again.
This is neat!
Want to watch Chelsea Handler completely lay into Tony Hinchcliffe at the Kevin Hart roast? Hinchcliffe is that loser piece of garbage who told that joke about Puerto Rico at the Madison Square Nazi Trump rally or whatever that gathering of valueless human skin tags was.
Handler knew exactly what she was doing, and we thank her for her service.
More stories when we have them!
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Chonkers in the hed gif! Find out more here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/chonkers-an-ample-archduke-among
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/198190b9-68cc-4147-b32c-61f38b4c506c?utm_source=share
Spotted yesterday:
https://substack.com/profile/156971387-the-wanderer/note/c-257719643