Rep. Lauren Underwood Kicks Kristi Noem's Ass
Happy video time!
Illinois Governor JB Pritzker, a Democrat obviously, taught a lesson yesterday in how to troll Donald Trump’s Nazi Barbie DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, who is gallivanting around the country — and other countries — doing photo ops and apparently leaving her purse unattended and full of cash, in support of Trump’s vile immigration evils.
Responding to news that Noem was bringing her clown car to the governor’s mansion in Springfield, Illinois, today, Pritzker sent a note to reporters, which Chicago Sun-Times reporter Tina Sfondeles then tweeted so we could all enjoy it.
At the beginning of the email, Pritzker’s office noted that “Secretary Noem has often been spotted on television cosplaying law enforcement officers, so media are invited to capture her latest costume upon arrival.”
He ended with a note saying that “We should urge all pet owners in the region to make sure all of your beloved animals are under watchful protection while the Secretary is in the region.”
Because she literally kills puppies.
But before Noem brought the hide-your-dogs-and-ponies show to Springfield, she was in Congress this week testifying before the House Appropriations Committee, and Rep. Lauren Underwood of Illinois really beat the crap out of her, and it was a delight to watch.
Underwood noted Donald Trump’s recent confusion over whether he’s required to uphold the Constitution he swore an oath to defend and protect — maybe he thinks he only has to facilitate the upholding of it, ha ha! — and asked if Noem still believes that she has to uphold the Constitution. Yes, said Noem. Great, said Underwood. So let’s talk about the Article 1 power of the purse, which is granted to Congress and only to Congress.
“Do you believe the administration has the authority to subvert appropriations law to freeze and terminate congressional funding?” asked Underwood.
Noem tried to pretend her department and the administration had only assessed whether grant money was being spent appropriately. No big deal! Just crossing their Ts and dotting their I’s! Underwood reclaimed her time to correct Noem and restate that she’s asking whether they think they can just ignore congressional appropriations altogether. Noem continued to bullshit. So Underwood moved on to the powers of the Executive as enumerated in Article 2.
“Article 2 does not give the Executive authority to withhold funds. Period,” said Underwood.
After that, it really got good. Underwood grilled Noem on whether she believes all people are entitled to due process — she doesn’t — and on whether it’s ever OK to deport American citizens — it’s not. Noem tried and tried to lie and lie, but Underwood was not having it.
“Ma’am, I’m looking for a yes or no.” Underwood spoke loudly over Noem when Noem tried to give her some prevaricating bullshit about due process.
“Due process is exactly what this Congress lays out,” Noem started to say, meandering down some braindead path nobody wanted to follow, quite frankly we don’t think Noem knows what the term means.
“Ma'am, I’ll take that as a no,” said Underwood, moving on.
“Ma’am, I’m trying to ascertain your understanding of the law as it pertains to your department,” she clarified, then asked whether it’s OK to deport citizens.
“As I know everyone viewing this hearing today knows, […] several American citizens have been deported to date.”
“No they haven’t,” Noem lied.
“That was not a question,” Underwood explained.
She ended by noting that both of them swore an oath to protect the Constitution.
“Not the president, not a political party, the Constitution.”
Watch the entire clip above, it is awesome.
In related news of Noem and DC, the Washingtonian reported this week that Trump’s ICE thugs have set their sights on the restaurants of Washington DC. At one restaurant, Chang Chang, they apparently tried to raid the place, but the manager stood their ground, informed them they would need a real warrant, and ran them off. The Daily Beast reports that one of the restaurants targeted by the immigration Nazis on Tuesday was Chef Geoff’s, which is owned by Geoff Tracy, the husband of CBS anchor Norah O’Donnell.
We don’t know why the phrase “don’t shit where you eat” keeps going through our head, because it doesn’t exactly fit the situation, but we feel like restaurant workers in DC might quickly find creative ways to make these MAGA assholes feel extremely unwelcome in DC-area restaurants, and that is all we are going to say about that.
Protect your dogs and your humans, Kristi Noem is still on the loose!
Also, if you’re in DC, go to Chang Chang and give them all your money! We’ve heard it’s awesome.
The end.
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“As I know everyone viewing this hearing today knows, […] several American citizens have been deported to date.”
“No they haven’t,” Noem lied.
“That was not a question,” Underwood explained.
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Kick her again, Rep Underwood! I'm here for it.
The New York Times
@nytimes.com
Salt Lake City, Utah, and Boise, Idaho, adopted official Pride flags on Tuesday in response to state laws barring the display of any nonofficial flags at schools and government buildings.
https://bsky.app/profile/nytimes.com/post/3lolprwfn7s2n
It still bothers me that only the right ever gets credited with being able to troll and own the other side.