Republicans Can't Let Biden Fix The Border In An Election Year
Wait, we thought he just couldn't confirm Supreme Court justices!
We’re taking a break from the impending Civil War sequel to bring you some news about the border deal Donald Trump has ordered his congressional lackeys to kill.
Republican Sen. James Lankford, Sen. Kyrsten Sinema of the Sinema Party, and Democratic Sen. Chris Murphy put their heads together and negotiated a deal they claim would prevent surges at the border that overwhelm federal authorities. The White House has been actively involved in the process.
CNN reports that the package, set for release this week, would grant the Department of Homeland Security new emergency powers to shut down the border if daily average migrant encounters hit 4,000 over a one-week period. If that number goes over an average 5,000 migrant crossing per day within a week, DHS would shut down the border for anyone crossing illegally not at ports of entry. Some migrants might be able to stay if they can prove they’re fleeing torture or persecution — for instance, a pregnant woman in Texas seeking an abortion — but they’ll need to hurry before they’re impaled on Gov. Greg Abbott’s murder wire.
However if crossings exceed 8,500 in a single day … well, what do we have for the losers, judge? That’s right — a complete and total border shutdown! No migrants can cross illegally at any port of entry, and any migrant who tries to cross twice while the borders closed would be shot on sight banned from entering the US for one year.
The Senate deal would speed up the asylum process so that cases are considered within six months, compared to the current system where it can take up to 10 years. We’d like to hope that the accelerated process would prove a result of increased diligence not simply rubber stamping “NO! NOW GET OUT!” on every migrant’s asylum application.
Of course, there were more than 300,000 migrant encounters just in December. You don’t need to bother with the “30 days have September” verse to help do the math and conclude that this averages out to more than 8,500 crossings per day. That’s not just the holiday rush. A source close to the deal confirms that under the new proposal, the border would shut down to illegal immigrants.
President Joe Biden praised the deal Lankford, Murphy, and Sinema negotiated. He rarely comments on ongoing congressional negotiations, but he bent that rule slightly on Friday with this statement:
“What’s been negotiated would — if passed into law — be the toughest and fairest set of reforms to secure the border we’ve ever had in our country,” he said. “It would give me, as President, a new emergency authority to shut down the border when it becomes overwhelmed. And if given that authority, I would use it the day I sign the bill into law.”
Of course, the former traitor in chief Donald Trump opposes any deal because he thinks it will help Biden politically. This isn’t mind reading. He’s said it out right. He’s told Senate Republicans to sit tight and wait for him to return to the Oval Office and triumphantly deliver a “perfect deal.” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell seems on board with this plan, so presumably it’s slipped his mind that Trump was already president for four years and had a unified Republican government for two years and never came close to a border deal this “good” for Republicans.
“I think the border is a very important issue for Donald Trump,” Sen. Mitt Romney said Thursday, “and the fact that he would communicate to Republican senators and congresspeople that he doesn’t want us to solve the border problem because he wants to blame Biden for it is really appalling.”
Yeah, Trump’s just scum.
“But the reality is that, that we have a crisis at the border,” Romney added. “The American people are suffering as a result of what's happening at the border. And someone running for president not to try and get the problem solved. as opposed to saying, hey, save that problem. Don’t solve it. Let me take credit for solving it later.”
Sen. Kevin Cramer seemed to agree.
“I reject the idea we should reserve a crisis for a better time to solve it ... I don’t see how we have a better story to tell when we miss the one opportunity to fix it.”
He’ll be fine with this idea by Monday afternoon. The supposed “rational” Republicans are always “Johnny Fontane never gets that movie!” until they wake up to a bloody gag gift in their bed.
Sen. Thom Tillis certainly looked annoyed with Trump’s obstruction, declaring that “We are here! We were elected! We have election certificates! When you have an opportunity to make this country safer, you take it and you don’t play politics.”
Good luck with that, senator. Meanwhile, Speaker At The Moment Mike Johnson says that if Biden wants to fix the border he should just use executive orders and leave Congress out of it. This is why Republicans were so pleased when Barack Obama did just that.
We just can’t with these people.
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While mourning Khartoum, I appreciate the ironic interstices of "gag gift."
weirdly i'm listening to the soundtrack from our upcoming summer show and it just served up 'bitch is back'
weird.