365 Comments

> Richard Simmons seems like he must the absolute kindest person on the planet ...

Only because Fred Rogers is no longer with us. 😢

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Another caturday love affair . . .

https://substack.com/profile/156971334-satanic-pancake/note/c-39107175

And no, I have no idea how or where they teamed up. Only that she came wandering out of the garden in his loving embrace.

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Slugs need a tough little buddy to hang out with. ❤️

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Donald and Melania. Oops, that's right, they're both leeches.

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Slimey looking!

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Ew.

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I watched her walk through the garden, jump on the garden gate, scale the bit above the gate, then jump four feet to the top of the deck railing without dislodging that sucker. I finally had to remove it for her.

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founding

I would pay a reasonable amount of money only for the purpose of obtaining a mugshot from the Fulton County, GA jail for Christmas cards I would send to family and friends.

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Mock up of the backsplash made of floorboards. Just need to rig up a frame and a finish (so it's easily washable)

https://substack.com/profile/9310006-house-of-the-blue-lights/note/c-39106200

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Richard Simmons is 75.

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I thought a bit about PO1135809 mug shot. and he finally reminds me of someone.

That guy playing cards on Sat night that has lost every hand, and now thinks he should practice his bluff move. Cause he doesn't know how to play cards.

He will borrow money to get to work next week.

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Richard Simmons And Anne Murray.

Dang now I feel old. But that's ok.

This morning I woke up on the top side of the grass.

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Whoever’s dog this is, it is ADORABLE ❤️

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He reminded me of Doc's dog Sprocket on Fraggle Rock.

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Yes. More dog pics. They cheer me up more than cat pics.

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All of the routine morning chores have been completed and I've taken out the duster, my preferred furniture polish and a couple of clean cotton rags to get started on polishing up and buffing out both the wood furniture and the 2 leather recliners. If my motivation holds and my body is willing to cooperate I may rearrange the furniture a bit simply for a change of pace.

Of course moving things around is likely to set Ripper on a tear. That cat is more neurotic than I am in regard to things being where they belong. He really doesn't cope well with any disruptions to either his routine or his surroundings. I suspect that if I dare move his Feline Tower of Power away from the front room floor-to-ceiling windows [aka "cat TV"] there will be hell to pay.

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Kitteh is BOSS>......

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And if you move it, who will be the guard against the MAGA Zombie™ invasion?

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Surely I will doom us all.

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Well, the people who shit their dogs around the complex have stopped pooping them where there are signs to clean up after them and started pooping them where there are no signs so my solution is more signs. I am also going to restock the bags in the stations and order a few additional stations.

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I don't get the ones who clean up after their dog, knot the little baggy nice and tight, and leave it there, because walking the sealed bag to a waste receptacle is just a bridge too far.

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I would rather that than nothing.

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True. I just find the behavior baffling. I mean, at that point, the hard part's over.

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I don't understand that. Yes, picking up your dog' shit is gross. You know what is grosser???? Picking up someone else's dog's shit!!!! When I was walking my dog once and realized I forget the bags as she was emptying her bowels onto someone's lawn I was so mortified I called home for someone to go the three blocks to bring me a few bags. Luckily the homeowner was a dog owner, saw me outside calling, and came out with some bags for me.

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I put a post with a roll of bags on it next to my mailbox. It’s definitely helped, but I’ve also seen people grab a handful of bags and just walk on, like I’m a free crap bag service.

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Grosser yet to step in it.🤮

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A healthy heaping of CostCo red pepper sprinkled on my yard stopped the poopers cold. They sniff, and for about a second looked very confused, then start sneezing. They come back the next day, gingerly sniffing and conclude that someone else's yard is more hospitable.

It also works for racoons, skunks, possums, rats...doesn't affect birds.

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Like cayenne pepper? As an owner of a corner lot I need to know this.

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Yeah, I should have used cayenne--quicker for dogs to engage in a Pavlovian flight response. The point is not to be cruel, but provide the equivalent of a olfactory electric fence.

I live in California and because it never rains for most of the year (and as a result no longer have a lawn), an application seems to have lasted for two weeks to a month. I didn't really use that much, and after a month, barks had spread among the dog kingdom that my territory was off-limits.

The dogs were annoying, but with raccoons, I went WWIII on those critters--that was the first time I used red pepper. The little banditos kept camping in our tree for the night which had thick foliage throughout (that's important here). They also were noisy and fighting every night. Rabies and the fact they can shred a dog's face like pulled pork was something that gave me pause. Calling animal control was on my list, but somebody mentioned using red pepper as a deterrent to me as I was going Costco and figured I give it a whirl. Dumped about a half quart of the stuff all over and inside the branches (that inside foliage was a key to ensuring the fur would be covered with magic pixie dust). Next day, in the pea gravel surrounding the tree, I saw crater after crater of what I surmised was an attempt to rub their noses and hands trying to get the stuff off of them. They never came back.

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There are a couple people around here who do pick up the poop, but then leave the poop bag in the middle of the sidewalk. I really can’t figure that one out.

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I've seen that too, and it was recently explained to me, about a particularly popular trail near me, that they encourage people to bag and leave the poop aside the trail, once a day someone from the park comes along (in an ATV) to pick it all up. So you are encouraged to bag but leave.

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I would pick up the bags around my complex if people left them.

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I saw that a coupla times. What on earth makes them think that’s okay?

I also must note this is very regional. I’ve lived in many states. Some very clean, some underrated and underfunded. You can see the difference instantly.

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Richard Simmons was always kind of woven into the background of my childhood. He had a daily show that came on after the game shows. Lobbies, waiting rooms, babysitters houses, whatever, it would be on. I especially remember him talking about being bullied and ridiculed, something I struggled with though for different reasons.

As a much older person now, I can look back on what he marketed and promoted. He never, ever tried to sell snake oil. He sold things that could actually work for some people, and was always clear that it would require patience and persistence. He emphasized the importance of doing fitness for the sake of your own well being, not someone else's opinion of you. And he tirelessly tried to encourage people to make a positive change, no matter how small.

Best of all, he clearly could not give two shits what the detractors had to say.

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But he was very nutty. Never more so than when he appeared on the Howard Stern Show. Never clear where the shtick/joke stopped and the mental illness began. I agree with the other posters here lauding his actual holy work getting people to feel better about themselves through controlling their appetites and appearance.

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Deal a Meal, his product for managing food is FABULOUS information management. He helped a lot of people learn to care for themselves and love themselves. He made people feel worth being loved.

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Yeah I remember that one. Not going to work for everyone, but a lot of people had success with it.

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Well, the students are back.

For a culture that seems to have embraced helicopter parenting, undergraduate students (especially freshman) haven't learned much common sense. Walking against the light in traffic while staring at a phone should be something that a parent might consider warning against.

That and riding scooters in traffic without a helmet.

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Helicopter parent would put an arm in front of the kid while the kid continues scrolling, never tell them to stop and look.

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I feel very lucky today. I had breakfast with a friend who brought me a ton of zucchini and yellow squash. i'm going to make chocolate zucchini bread and take her some and either stuffed zucchini or zucchini zoodles and pesto for dinner. After a trip to the dog park of course. I'm excited, I'm never Becky-homecky.

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Today's Velshi Banned Book Club pick is ... Romeo and Juliet, which cannot be taught in Florida schools because "sexual content." These fucking assholes, I swear ...

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Strange because, after his debate performance fell far short of "lackluster," his only future career would appear to be playing Malvolio in a cruise ship production of "The Twelfth Night."

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This is the ONE play that has the potential to get kids into Shakespeare. They want people to be ignorant -- it's the only explanation.

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That is precisely what they desire. An ignorant, vapid, unread constituency that doesn't ask question and doesn't make waves.

An uninformed populace is far easier to manipulate.

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George Carlin said they want everybody just smart enough to do the work and fill out the paperwork, but no smarter.

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interesting point about young, emotional, and impulsive Americans having access to very lethal solutions...

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True, but this is why there are classroom discussions.

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Getting horrifically bad advice from religious types. Being forced into deadly situations by vicious, politically-motivated adults. The whole character Mercutio.

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well you know, if we don't talk about sex, kids won't want to do it.

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Well apparently there’s a downside to fame. Daisy with 2 bones is now dating Pete Davidson. Dammit!

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Is Daisy with 2 bones a person or a golden retriever? Because that would be an excellent name for a golden retriever. Pete Davidson, at least, is a name I recognize. Harley’s brother, right?

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So, I think I have told this story once before, but I will repeat it because of our subject this morning.

As a young, teenage StarJamma living in Fort Lauderdale in the mid-80s, I was walking around a part of town called Las Olas Blvd, which at the time was cute high-end shops n' stuff (I wasn't interested in that then). There was a festival happening and I happened to have my younger sister with me, you know, Mom gave us some bucks for drinks or whatever and to get out of her hair for an hour. Vendors and things are all over the streets, and it is hot and muggy, natch, so we walk in to a shop with AC to cool off and pretend we're looking around to buy stuff. It's like a swimsuit store, I think.

I was aimlessly drifting down the aisle along the back side of the shop with my sister, in a heat-induced daze, when we turn a corner and all of a sudden we hear an exuberant "KIDS!!" I'm like wtf and my sister looked like she wanted to run out of the shop. Standing there in the aisle now is Richard Goddamn Simmons, whom I've seen on videos, you know?? Both of us are basically stunned and frozen in place, when Richard comes over to us and says "Let's take a photo guys!" . He stands behind us, puts his arms on our shoulders and someone snaps a photo. Then we hear "Thanks guys, something something something, you're awesome!" And he goes over to some other group of people chatting.

It was our first celebrity encounter and while he seemed nothing less than the sweet, ebullient guy you saw in the videos, it was an ambush photo op that left us completely befuddled for like the rest of the day! And his hair was awesome, of course.

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Simmons has never allowed any of his fame and fortune go to his head.

His abundant crown of curls is more than enough resplendence for the humble man.

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I wish I had his hair!

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