96 Comments

Look around you, man! It's a cage, with golden bars!

Expand full comment

Where's the lerve for Scott Walker?

And, of course, mah main man Louie Gohmert?

Expand full comment

Sorry, I only like being weirdly tricked by single moms.

Expand full comment

"I've got a fever, and the only treatment is more corndog!"

Expand full comment

Also not having to wait for the comment replies to load independently is pretty nice, too.

Expand full comment

Oops. Not even once twice.

Expand full comment

Rick's just using Sarah to get to Tawd.

Expand full comment

And maple syrup.

Expand full comment

I thought Miss Lindsey had that gig.

Expand full comment

Rick Perry: the unthinking person's Harold Stassen. Run, Rick, run--away, away, away!

Expand full comment

Rick is like that obnoxious old stripper at the Yellow Rose on North Lamar across the street from State Trooper's HQ. Not very prerty, talks a lot of shit, gets pissed when you don't giver dollar bills, but sure can make that brass pole squeak.

Expand full comment

Third time's the....something. I forget.

Expand full comment

Considering he has been indicted recently, won't that limit his out of Texas travel? http://www.huffingtonpost.c...

Expand full comment

We will be there standing up for freedom no matter where it is — economically, militarily

Yeah, 'cause those are the important ones. Also, specifically called out in the bill of rights.

First and a half amendment, you will always have the right to make as much money as you can grab and don't worry so much about using unpaid-for national resources or mistreating other people who don't have the ability to stand up to your power of muneez.

Second and a half amendment:

No, I can't do it. I can't even pretend to describe what "military freedom" might be, other than the right to not have someone else's military in your front yard, which is a pretty low bar.

Expand full comment

I think he is running for president of a newly seceded Texas.

Expand full comment