John Edwards, who was gestated in a millworker cut open by a lightsaber after nine months, has asked his mistress Rielle Hunter to marry him, according to the National Enquirer (again). Now, if John Edwards has any luck, this new wife will get cancer, and he will be able to exploit it for another presidential run while he simultaneously has sex with the first crazy person who comes up to him and tells him he's "hott." Look out, Obama! John Edwards was created when a bunch of mill dust was dusted off a millworker's jacket and collected in a dustpan! He is a very serious perpetual candidate! "My new wife has cancer," John Edwards will tell us. "And we have decided she will have cancer all over the state of Iowa for the next 14 months."
"Survivor : Politics" Put Edwards, Limbaugh, Palin, Coulter, Gingrich, Sharpton, Bachmann, McCain, King, Inhofe, and the rest on an inescapable deserted island. .... That's it, that's the show.
Run Rielle! Hairspray causes cancer.
Whatzerface's? You mean Laura? Now that's a cool Enquirer headline.
hahahaha DC (and NC) are grosser than hollywood.
actually, the more i think about it, the more true that is.
HAHAHAHA DC (and NC) is grosser than hollywood.
actually, the more i think about this, the truer it is.
This gives hope to Mark Sanford.
Nope, sorry, they're downsizing to Foghat. This is the era of lowered expectations, after all.
"Survivor : Politics" Put Edwards, Limbaugh, Palin, Coulter, Gingrich, Sharpton, Bachmann, McCain, King, Inhofe, and the rest on an inescapable deserted island. .... That's it, that's the show.
Edwards should be immortalized by naming some horrific anal cancer after him.