Four years ago today, old Rudy was sweating at the Four Seasons Landscaping Company, between the dildo shop and the crematorium. How far he’s come!
Thursday he was in federal court in a fresh face of orange makeup, trying to explain why the assets he owes to the women who sued him out of house and home just for lying about them and ruining their lives were secreted away to the “The America First Warehouse” of Ronkonkoma, and other undisclosed far-flung locations.
But hope springs like a boner in the morning! Trump’s day one for sure is figuring out some way to make civil judgments and state cases pardonable. And then he’ll make Rudy head of the DOJ, why not? Mirthless chuckle! Welcome to the dumbgreedyhornyocracy, where we’re all strapped to the roof of the clown car next to a fetid whale.
For today, though, there’s still the matter of how Tooty ignored a court order and hid every tacky watch, piece of paperwork, and signed sports jersey he owns. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
“The judge knew I couldn’t come today,” he groused, there, in Lower Manhattan, accessorized with a diamond pinkie ring, a fresh face of orange makeup and companion in a greasy, fashy mullet. Will the sponsored-by-MyPillow-guy web show survive?
“Every bit of property that they want is available, if they are entitled to it,” he groused. “Now, the law says they’re not entitled to a lot of them. For example, they want my grandfather’s watch, which is 150 years old. That’s a bit of an heirloom. Usually you don’t get those unless you’re involved in a political persecution. In fact, having me here today is like a political persecution.”
Uh huh.
Once inside, Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss’s pissed-off lawyer told Judge Lewis Liman they’d just found out Monday that Rudy had opened a new bank account and business entity, Standard USA LLC, over the summer, that shady prick.
And Rudy’s lawyer Ken Caruso tried to go with my client doesn’t know where all the stuff is, what is stuff? The order was ambiguous, and you can’t take my client’s father’s watch, you vindictive monster!
Unsurprisingly Judge Liman was not there for it, and used judge words that mean bitchslap, STFU. Claiming Rudy doesn’t know where his stuff is is “farcical,” the vindictiveness thing is “ridiculous.” Rudy never filed an exemption for the watch, the court takes watches from bodega owners every day, and Rudy can suck it up like every other broke motherfucker the judge sees all the fucking time. His order was ambiguous? Let’s all go through the list together one by one, shall we? (You can read along yourself here starting on page 16.) Are we extra super clear? Make with the condo papers, the signed pictures, the rings, the mirror, the TV, the old guitar cord, the remote control, and your old skateboard, BY MONDAY. And especially the title and keys to that sweet-ass Mercedes. OR YOU WILL GET A MOTION FOR CONTEMPT.
Until then, go back to Florida and hug your MyPillowGuy, and be a STAR!
Is Rudy going to make with the keys or keep trying to push his luck with a federal judge? Can he hide his crap long enough for Lord Trump to come save him?
We shall see, stay tuned!
OT, Mr lefty got a job -- at the Post office! It is actually what he wants to do -- he is burned out and is looking forward to a job that he can leave and not get all tied up in knots over. He is happy.
NYT - Fed Cut Rates again, latest sign that inflation is coming under control
What were the other signs NYT? Because I don’t remember you mentioning a single fucking one prior to the election. CAN YOU BE MORE OBVIOUS?