Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s Gross Dad Jerking Off To Book Of Revelation Again
Remember that's AMBASSADOR TO ISRAEL Sarah Huckabee Sanders's Gross Dad.
As we sit around and wait to find out if “TACO” applies to bombing countries and starting bullshit wars that the American people will not rally around, spoiler alert, you fucking losers, here’s another reminder of exactly what types of creeps, perverts, and misfits Donald Trump has staffed his administration with.
Mike Huckabee, the dad to the nepo baby Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who wouldn’t have accomplished anything in life if he hadn’t paved the way, is the former governor of Arkansas, a wingnut talk show host, and now, the US ambassador to Israel. That’s ultra-disturbing because Mike Huckabee is one of those extremist Christian types — he’s a Southern Baptist pastor by training, naturally — who masturbates to his country-fried Little Rock interpretation of the book of Revelation, probably climaxing right around the part Jesus rides in wearing a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers costume and hurling all the Jews who refused to convert to Christianity into hell.
That’s who Donald Trump sent to be the ambassador to Israel. A guy whose entire religious worldview is built around the eventual destruction of most of the population of the country to which he was sent. And we’ve said it a million times, but fundamentalist Christians like Mike Huckabee love Israel and Jews like pedophiles love children.
And Mike Huckabee has sent Donald Trump a text message, as Trump prayerfully considers (hahahahahaha) whether to personally help unhinged madman Benjamin Netanyahu bomb the shit out of Iran — which is led by another unhinged madman — and murder a bunch of innocent people in the process.
That text message is some fucked. up. shit.
And the White House released it! Which is also some real fucked up shit.
Here is the text:
And here is the text of the text, with our loving corrections:
Mr. President,
God spared you in Butler, PA to be the most consequential President in a century—maybe ever.
Objection, assumes facts not in evidence, about things “God” did, and “God’s” motives for doing those things.
The decisions on your shoulders I would not want to be made by anyone else.
You have many voices speaking to you Sir, but there is only ONE voice that matters. HIS voice.
Objection, assumes facts not in evidence, namely that HE has one fucking word to say to President Stupid Hitler.
I am your appointed servant in this land
Ew, you can hear him rubbing his evangelical Left Behind rapture boner from here.
and am available for you but I do not try to get in your presence often because I trust your instincts.
“I do not try to get in your presence often,” gross, sick, ew, like he’s humping the ground lying prostrate before a king, ew.
No President in my lifetime has been in a position like yours. Not since Truman in 1945.
And what did Truman in 1945 do? It’s important to know what Truman in 1945 did, to understand what Mike Huckabee is masturbating to here. Mike Huckabee with the sick, perverted End Times beliefs about Israel and the battle of Armageddon he fantasizes will one day happen there before Jesus stomps in dressed like Superman to throw some nonbelievers in the Lake of Fire.
I don’t reach out to persuade you. Only to encourage you.
I believe you will hear from heaven and that voice is far more important than mine or ANYONE else’s.
He believes God is going to speak to Donald Trump, but juuuuuuuust in case Donald Trump is not sure what God is saying, Mike Huckabee is here to tell Trump what God is probably saying.
You sent me to Israel to be your eyes, ears and voice and to make sure our flag flies above our embassy. My job is to be the last one to leave.
I will not abandon this post. Our flag will NOT come down! You did not seek this moment. This moment sought YOU!
It is my honor to serve you!
Mike Huckabee
And then the son of Man came upon the clouds just as Mike Huckabee was cumming upon everything else, etc., etc., hashtag #biblicalprophecy.
So that’s the ambassador to the country that’s trying to peer pressure old TACO into helping start World War III.
Meanwhile, if you want to see how the question of whether Trump should obey Netayahu and help him bomb Iran into oblivion is tearing MAGA-world entirely asunder, here is a thread you should read every word of.
Dang, we would hate it if this was the thing that tore apart the MAGA coalition once and for all.
Bless all their hearts.
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OT: I’ve spent more than two hours on prep time for this cocktail. Roasted pineapple juice, coconut cafe au lait… and it is so good. A toasted pina colada. It is so smooth, creamy, and warm tasting. The best cocktail for a cold rainy morning at the beach. It reminds me a little of a latte, with the roasted and creamy notes. And there’s enough rum in here to make me wonder where the floor is. A successful experiment.
"And we’ve said it a million times, but fundamentalist Christians like Mike Huckabee love Israel and Jews like pedophiles love children."
Coincidentally, a lot of them also love CHILDREN like pedophiles love children.