Secretary Mayor Pete Stuffs Brian Kilmeade In Locker, It’s An Election Day Miracle!
It is also a thing that happens every time Pete goes on Fox News.
We’re all antsy and impatient, so here’s a nice video of Secretary Mayor Pete Buttigieg repeatedly stuffing Brian Kilmeade, the mouthbreathing stupidest one on all of Fox News, into a locker.
They were talking about EVs and the Trump manufacturing recession, which happened, but Brian Kilmeade is an armpit-farting moron, so he doesn’t think it happened.
“THE MANUFACTURING RECESSION IS IN YOUR HEAD! IT NEVER HAPPENED!” he yelled.
Pete dared Kilmeade to look it up on Politifact and have Fox News put it on the screen right then.
“There was a Trump manufacturing recession,” reaffirmed Pete. “Look it up.”
Fox News did not take the double dare, shockingly.
“How much did the EV mandate hurt the Kuh-MELL-Uh Harris quest to be the next president?” asked Brian, performatively mispronouncing Kamala Harris’s name like a mediocre white man who feels threatened by her and is also a pigfucking racist.
“Well first of all, the statement that there is an EV mandate is a lie,” said Pete. “You can buy a gas car right now if you want one, you can buy an EV car if you want one, and we’ll help make it cheaper.”
“FOR HOW LONG?” demanded Brian.
“As long as you want,” said Pete.
Pete forced Brian Kilmeade to admit that he was allowed to buy whichever car he wants.
“IF YOU HAD YOUR DRUTHERS WOULD THERE BE COMBUSTION ENGINES?” demanded Brian, asking personal questions about Pete’s druthers.
Pete said if he had his druthers, “every car would be made in America.”
Pete said that EV technology is coming, “and Donald Trump allowed China to take the lead on EVs. I want those EVs made in America.”
Brian got mad again. “YOU WILL NOT LET THEM MINE IN MINNESOTA, WHERE THE GOVERNOR WANTS TO BE VICE PRESIDENT, IN ORDER TO GET THE RARE EARTH NECESSARY TO MAKE THE BATTERIES!”
“Is this an interview or a debate?” asked Pete, because Brian’s stupid voice was making all these sounds.
Kilmeade said he couldn’t let Pete “throw out fallacies.”
Pete told him to name one fallacy he had said.
Brian was upset that Pete had suggested that Trump let China take the lead. Brian gets upset when people suggest that Trump is not the goodest and smartest and perfectest man of all.
Brian was just upset in general. And angry. And stupid.
At the end of it, Pete had won another viral moment on Fox News, and Brian Kilmeade still looked like a guy who repeatedly smacks himself in the head with anvils, because that’s what he looks like.
In related news of Secretary Mayor Pete, somebody decided they should make him debate 25 undecided Michigan voters — the person in the second video is particularly obnoxious — and he was pretty awesome at that too.
Is that enough Pete videos to keep you happy? OK fine here’s a picture of him with his shirt off. Don’t blame us, blame his husband for putting that thirst trap out there in the world.
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[videos via Tennessee Holler / Stefan Smith / Keith Edwards]
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“How much did the EV mandate hurt the Kuh-MELL-Uh Harris quest to be the next president?” asked Brian, performatively mispronouncing Kamala Harris’s name like a mediocre white man who feels threatened by her and is also a pigfucking racist."
I LOVED when Jim Acosta of CNN said to some Republican 2 weeks ago (Vance?) "you're an adult, just pronounce her name correctly." He had such a lovely look of disgust on his face.
I just got back from doing my civic duty UpDooting Harris/Walz and all of the other Democrats on the ticket.