Senate Slashes Trump’s War Powers Like A Cheap Vinyl Liner In An Algae-Infested Reflecting Pool
Symbolically, but it's gonna leave a mark.
Tenth time is the charm, we guess!
The Senate voted last night (50-48) to punch Donald Trump’s precious power to war on Iran right in the dick. The resolution “directs the President to remove United States Armed Forces from hostilities against the Islamic Republic of Iran.”
So now Trump has to do that! Haha, just kidding.
But it does matter.
The House passed one of these thingies 215 to 208 on June 3. You might remember that Donald Trump’s party controls all of Congress. One way to remember it is to take note of how these white fascists’ boots are on everybody’s necks from every branch of government! Now you remember!
Point is, Trump’s whole Republican-controlled Congress has now failed him, and failed to back up whatever dumbass shit Benjamin Netanyahu convinced him to do, after Netanyahu correctly assessed that Trump is the only US president in world history stupid enough to say “HOW MUCH BOOM?” when Netanyahu cried “Iran!” in a crowded theater.
Weird how being the most hated, mocked, loathed president in world history doesn’t exactly make all Senate Republicans inclined to keep two-fingering Trump’s war dick in lockstep, donnit? Especially so close to the midterms they’re all about to lose.
Also since a bunch of them have been there forever and also are not stupid enough to think starting an unwinnable war with Iran would be a good idea.
Why nobody trust Dear Leader and Secretary Shitfaced the Great Military Expert Pete Hegseth to make wise war choices?
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More details on the resolution, which was literally Congress’s 10th attempt to get something like this done:
Only if “explicitly authorised by a declaration of war or a specific congressional authorisation” would Trump be allowed to use further military force against Iran, it says.
The resolution, however, does allow for a limited military presence to remain in the Middle East to prevent any “imminent attack” against the US or its allies.
There’s the loophole. Netanyahu merely needs to cry a lot some more about how Iran exists and is very scary, and Trump can do whatever he wants.
Also this is technically a symbolic resolution that doesn’t make a fuck when it comes to the force of law.
Four (4) Republicans told Trump to eat their balls with this vote: Bill Cassidy, maybe because Trump just fucked him in his primary; Rand Paul, because “Rand Paul”; Susan Collins, because concerned; and Lisa Murkowski, because she is just increasingly tired of all this shit and occasionally makes good choices.
Mitch McConnell didn’t vote, because he dead (allegedly!) and Pennsylvania’s Dave McCormick didn’t either, because we don’t know why.
John Fetterman’s broken brain voted with Trump, though!
Obviously, though, most Republicans voted to keep two-fingering Trump’s war dick, so let’s not act like they’ve found God or anything:
“If this passes, the Iranians are going to simply stand up and walk away from negotiations,” Senator James Risch of Idaho told the Senate on Tuesday.
Hahahaha, James Risch, you stupid bitch, we are pretttty sure they were already doing that.
Another entity that has completely walked out of Iran talks and left JD Vance alone with all the couches is the American public. According to a new Reuters/Ipsos poll, only 24 percent of Americans thinks Trump’s dumbass war is worth it, despite how he always dementia-babbles that people are behind him because of whatever lies he’s always swallowing from Netanyahu’s butthole about how Iran is at all times less than 15 minutes from fully forming a nuclear bomb. That poll also shows Trump tied for his lowest approval rating ever, just like all the other polls.
In related news, a new scoop from the Maggie Haberman/Jonathan Swan book suggests that there was a moment last year when Trump might have been at least slightly more skeptical of doing whatever Netanyahu says. During the United Nations General Assembly in 2025, Trump had a call with Netanyahu in which he reportedly said, “Everybody’s sick of you, Bibi. All the Jews are sick of you. Even the two Jews on this call are sick of you.” (The Jews were Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff, Trump’s idiot real estate mogul Middle East/Russia guru negotiator.)
Trump has more recently said similar things about Bibi, such as that he is “fucking crazy” and has “no fucking judgment.” But we guess at the end of the day, the Israeli leader has gotten Trump back onside. (Maybe Israel has the full unredacted Epstein Files or something, allegedly.)
And in US military news, Secretary Shitfaced McWarLoser has kicked out yet another four-star general, CD Donahue, a West Point grad who was the last soldier to depart Afghanistan, and who has been leading the Army in Europe and in Africa. “Widely seen as one of the Army’s rising stars,” says The Atlantic.
We guess Pete felt threatened by him, because this is Pete:
Sad.
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If only we would do something useful, like impeach and imprison the fucking degenerate.
Congress could stop almost all of this shit *today* if they really cared.