Senate’s Most Famous Stroke Victim Thinks President Dementia’s Greenland Fixation Is GREAT
Shut your fucking mouth, John Fetterman.
Time for a dispatch from the only US senator who actually might could lose that dementia test to Donald Trump.
One of the running themes of this week, besides the authoritarianism and the imperialism and the unrestrained Hitler-ness and the murder, is the irrepressible stupidity of the people committing these heinous acts.
It’s a strange comfort knowing that our fascists are far stupider than every other fascists in human history, especially the syphilis-brained (allegedly?) dementia patient at the top.
Yesterday, retiring Republican Senator Thom Tillis spoke of Donald Trump’s and Stephen Miller’s dumb little bitch Nazi plan to grab Greenland by the pussy and not take “Please, no!” for an answer, saying, “I’m sick of stupid.” He added that “[t]he amateurs who said it was a good idea should lose their jobs.” He’s talking about you, store brand Goebbels with the off-putting wife who isn’t even good for making strudel.
So wow, even Tillis knows this raping Greenland thing is stupid. Lisa Murkowski thinks the idea is “very, very unsettling” and Susan Collins is concerned. Therefore surely all the Democrats are united in roundly laughing at and haha just kidding. You’re still here and taking up space, John Fetterman?
You know, at some point we’re going to stop compassionately blaming the stroke and just assume this son of a bitch was a secret cocksucking bootlicking fascist the whole time.
To begin with: Greenland is not for sale. Its leaders, locally, in Denmark, and in the European Union have made abundantly fucking clear that it is not for sale. So go fuck yourself, tall drink of cat piss who doesn’t have the class or respect for his constituents or colleagues to buy a motherfucking suit to wear on the job.
Secondly, God, this is so fucking stupid. Greenland is of no strategic use to the United States that we don’t already have full, unfettered access to.
Last year, as Trump was being inaugurated and starting to unnaturally focus on Greenland like a drooling dementia cat following a drooling laser pointer, Anne Applebaum wrote about Trump’s call with Danish PM Mette Fredriksen that was settling off alarms all over Europe. The theory Denmark had arrived at was that Trump, in his irrepressible stupidity — and likely his confused belief that the Mercator projection represents how big Greenland really is, combined with his desperate desire for his (country) to be as big as Vladimir Putin’s (country) — wants the US to look good on a map.
Because it can’t really be for resources or military defense purposes. Why? Because the US is already totally allowed to do whatever the fuck it wants in Greenland! For one thing, Denmark is NATO, so militarily, what’s mine is yours and yours is mine, etc. We already have a Space Force base there, where they take space by force.
As Applebaum wrote, non-nuclear-proliferating Denmark was even willing to look away if the US wanted to stick some nukes up in Greenland for a rainy or nuclear wintery day:
Anything that the U.S. theoretically might want to do in Greenland is already possible, right now. Denmark has never stopped the U.S. military from building bases, searching for minerals, or stationing troops in Greenland, or from patrolling sea lanes nearby. In the past, the Danes have even let Americans defy Danish policy in Greenland. Over lunch, one former Danish diplomat told me a Cold War story, which unfolded not long after Denmark had formally declared itself to be a nuclear-free country. In 1957, the U.S. ambassador nevertheless approached Denmark’s then–prime minister, H. C. Hansen, with a request. The United States was interested in storing some nuclear weapons at an American base in Greenland. Would Denmark like to be notified?
Hansen responded with a cryptic note, which he characterized, according to diplomatic records, as “informal, personal, highly secret and limited to one copy each on the Danish and American side.” In the note, which was not shared with the Danish Parliament or the Danish press, and indeed was not made public at all until the 1990s, Hansen said that since the U.S. ambassador had not mentioned specific plans or made a concrete request, “I do not think your remarks give rise to any comment from my side.” In other words, If you don’t tell us that you are keeping nuclear weapons in Greenland, then we won’t have to object.
It’s so fucking stupid. This steadfast ally has always given us whatever we’ve asked for, often without asking, even spilling their own countrymen’s blood helping the US out with its misbegotten war adventures over the years.
Trump and his officials continually babble that they need Greenland for some kind of unexplained strategic national security reasons — and apparently John Fetterman is cranially damaged enough that he agrees! — but fucking strategic national security reasons to protect us from whom, please?
NATO allies, because we’re declaring Europe our enemy now? From Trump’s KGB handler Vladimir Putin?
The New York Times notes that we literally even have a Cold War-era agreement with Greenland that specifically gives the US pretty much carte blanche to do whatever it wants in Greenland. It dates from 1951, five years after Donald Trump’s mom birthed Satan’s ugliest, stupidest son, and on top of how we’re allowed to build whatever military bases we want, it says we can “house personnel” there, as well as “control landings, takeoffs, anchorages, moorings, movements, and operation of ships, aircraft, and waterborne craft.” (And meanwhile Danish leadership has even expressed willingness to give us more! They’re even willing to cut deals on resources, if Art of the Deal wants to make artful deals!)
NYT:
“The U.S. has such a free hand in Greenland that it can pretty much do what it wants,” said Mikkel Runge Olesen, a researcher at the Danish Institute for International Studies in Copenhagen.
“I have a very hard time seeing that the U.S. couldn’t get pretty much everything it wanted,” he said, adding, “if it just asked nicely.” […]
Peter Ernstved Rasmussen, a Danish defense analyst, said that in practice, if American forces made reasonable requests, “the U.S. would always get a yes.”
“It is a courtesy formula,” he said. “If the U.S. wanted to act without asking, it could simply inform Denmark that it is building a base, an airfield or a port.”
That’s what infuriates longtime Danish political experts. If Mr. Trump wanted to beef up Greenland’s security right now, he could. But there has been no such official American request, said Jens Adser Sorensen, a former senior official in Denmark’s Parliament.
“Why don’t you use the mechanism of the defense agreement if you’re so worried about the security situation?”
So what more does the stupid loser want? Just kidding, we already know. Stephen Miller’s trash wife’s tweet of Greenland with the American flag superimposed gave it away, plus the thing about Trump being so stupid that he couldn’t even conceive of why the Mercator projection is inaccurate, and the way his rapidly decomposing brain is running around slapping his name on things and trying to build tacky, cheap monuments to himself that will be bulldozed the second the American people have an opportunity.
He wants it to have his name on it. He wants to change the map like he (thinks he) did with the “Gulf of America.” He thinks it’s part of his “legacy,” as if the winning candidate in 2028 won’t be the one who promises to prosecute every Trump official AND burn his legacy to the ground, in ways both grandiose and deliciously petty, and who will revel in forcing Trump’s children watch while the American people erase Daddy.
And John Fetterman wants to help!
To which we reply: Shut your fucking goddamned Nazi-collaborating mouth and resign. Fucking human zero looking like some kind of incel manosphere version of Lurch, fucking fuck off, dumbass bitch.
Ain’t got time for this shit this week.
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My message to John, just now:
"John, I voted for you, and i am mortified that i did. In short: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!
Thank you for your attention to this matter."
>>“I have a very hard time seeing that the U.S. couldn’t get pretty much everything it wanted,” he said, adding, “if it just asked nicely.” […]<<
Oh please. Have you *met* Stephen Miller?