Send In The Spokesclowns!
What you should know about these dipshits you'll be seeing a lot of.
Probably you’ve been scrolling through the news and seen these two grating assholes, Steven Cheung and Karoline Leavitt, insulting people and saying stupid shit on behalf of That Gross Man, and you’ve been like, what’s their fucking deal, where did these spokestrolls come from? We are here to answer your questions!
First, Steven Cheung, the ranting master of barbs and future White House Communications Director, who rose to public prominence with his rather vulgar attacks on Ron DeSantis:
“It’s downright bewildering why [Ron DeSantis] would cuck himself in front of the entire country who clearly doesn’t want him as president,”
“Ron shuffled his feet and gingerly walked across the debate set like a 10-year-old girl who had just raided her mom’s closet and discovered heels for the first time.”
“Ron DeSanctimonious is acting more like a thirsty, third-rate OnlyFans wannabe model than an actual presidential candidate. Instead of actually campaigning and trying to turn around his dismal poll numbers, DeSanctus is now so desperate for attention that he's debating a Grade A loser like Gavin Newsom.”
He makes a Reddit comment section sound like the fucking Paris Review.
Cheung is also known for loserwhining that Poppy backed out of appearing on “60 Minutes” because they wanted to fact-check. “They also insisted on doing live fact checking, which is unprecedented,” he griped. And he called Bob Woodward a “truly demented and deranged man who suffers from a debilitating case of Trump Derangement Syndrome.” You get the idea. And then there was the time he promised the media video of that Arlington cemetery incident, which never did appear.
That Man reportedly calls Cheung “his sumo wrestler,” which seems a smidge racist, considering Cheung is the son of immigrants from China and sumo is a Japanese sport. But never mind that! “As an Asian American who has worked on campaigns, in government, and in the corporate world, working for President Trump and in his WH was the most inclusive environment I’ve ever encountered.” Rather makes you wonder what kind of shitty places he must have worked.
Would it surprise you to know he was a spokesman for the mixed-martial-arts franchise Ultimate Fighting Championship? And before that he worked as an intern in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s speechwriting office, and on John McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign? Then he spent two years in the White House before John Kelly fired him, reportedly in a housecleaning after the leak of comments made by aide Kelly Sadler, who said that Trump could ignore Arizona Republican Sen. John McCain’s opposition to CIA director nominee Gina Haspel because McCain had been diagnosed with brain cancer and was “dying anyway,” my gosh that was a lot of scandals ago. Then Cheung worked on Caitlyn Jenner’s failed run for governor of California, remember that?
The other fresh face we’re going to be regularly subjected to is 27-year-old Karoline Leavitt’s. As incoming press secretary, she’ll be your daily reminder — as if you needed one — that That Man’s staffers are utterly full of crap, and they know it. She has recently been furiously scrubbing her Xitter account to hide the fact that she was not always a January 6 denier and once praised Mike Pence and Capitol Police officers, oops!
And she re-Xitted praise for Officer Eugene Goodman, who lured rioters away from where House members were hiding, writing, “A hero.”
One of those “targets” was Leavitt’s then-boss, New York Rep. Elise Stefanik, who also condemned the violence and then decided it was all a Pam Ewing-type dream. Here’s Stefanik’s ass hiding from those “peaceful protestors.”
Stefanik also put out a strong statement condemning the violence, before doing a 180 and prostrating herself to drink That Man’s greasy bathwater, hollering EXPUNGE THE IMPEACHMENT, as if that was a thing. She got named UN Ambassador, for her efforts.
Leavitt has learned well! She was raised Catholic, and got her start as an assistant to Kayleigh McEnany, so she knows all about worshipping a mercurial and hard-to-please daddy. In 2022 she left Stefanik’s service to run for the House of Representatives herself in New Hampshire’s 1st District, where she lost by eight points. In June Kasie Hunt kicked her off of CNN because she wouldn’t quit shit-talking Jake Tapper and Dana Bash. Leavitt also just got married, is it improper to mention her husband looks super old? Probably, but we are saying it anyway. She just had a baby, and took only three days of maternity leave, which sounds like sheer hell on earth.
And if you can stand even more torture, here she is making words to Natalie Harp on OANN. Yeah, Harp is the “human printer” lady who follows That Man around on the golf course and into the courtroom printing off things from the Internet for him. The words are something about how the John Lewis Voting Act (which failed) would be Jim Crow 2.0 for conservatives, and racist against them, because if you vote against it people call you a racist. Really, you probably shouldn’t watch it, it is maddening.
But our maddening is just beginning, and if you don’t expose yourself to it, how can you ever become desensitized and inured?
[New Yorker/ Fox News/ CNN]
This is my anecdotal experience, but I think a lot of liberals have HAD IT. We were talking last night about cutting off constant MSNBC and newsfeed doomscrolling. A lot of Trump's decisions are being met with eyerolls instead of outrage, because people realize we have to ration our outrage energy to survive the next 4 years and some bait just flat-out isn't worth rising up to. Insult the White House press corps from the lectern? Eh, whatever, jackass. What's for lunch?
I wonder how everyday Trumpers are going to react when liberals just...stop responding to their nonsense. There's a reason right-wing Trumpy social media never took off.
One thing you can do is, when you see any of these propagandists on the TV or stream, turn it off. Go watch something else. Let these garbage people play in someone else's face.