SEVEN TIMES Grand Juries In DC Deny US Attorney Boxwine. SEVEN TIMES.
It happened AGAIN. And AGAIN. And will happen AGAIN AND AGAIN.
IT’S HAPPENED AGAIN. TWICE IN ONE DAY.
“What?” you say. “The thing with the grand juries,” we say! That’s right, another grand jury in DC, entirely of its own volition and accord, has looked at an indictment from DC US Attorney Jeanine “Boxwine” Pirro, Idiot, Esq., and said, “You know what? Fuck this Trump Nazi right here,” and refused to indict somebody.
AND THEN THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE. IN THE SAME DAY.
This makes … seven separate times? Something like that. NBC News’s tally says it’s six (at least) so far, and AP says it’s seven in five cases, and who are we to try to count such big numbers? (Sandwich guy Sean Dunn; Alvin Summers, who was charged with assaulting a federal officer and a grand jury said fuck off; and THREE GRAND JURIES for Sidney Lori Reid, also charged with assault. Plus today’s two, yep that’s seven in five cases. SEVEN.)
OK, so first, Nathalie Rose Jones of Indiana was charged with allegedly supposedly threatening Donald Trump’s life on Facebook, allegedly supposedly, allegedly supposedly. And US Attorney Boxwine AKA Jeanine Pirro said “Grand jury! Slosh! Slosh slosh slosh! By the powers vested in me by the second Bota Box I opened today, allegedly supposedly, I hereby demand you indict this lady!” (Paraphrase.) And the grand jury said, “HEEEENGH? What president? We ain’t see no president.”
Jones allegedly called Trump a “terrorist” and a “Nazi” in a voluntary interview with the Secret Service. She attended a march in Washington on Aug. 16 that went around the White House complex and was then arrested, though she said she had no desire at that time to harm Trump. Friends wrote in letters to the court that Jones has had mental health issues.
Annnnnnd they did not indict her.
So her court-appointed lawyers argued to Judge James Boasberg — yep, him! — that “The government may intend to try again to obtain an indictment, but the evidence has not changed and no indictment is likely.” So, you know, time to release her, they wrote.
OK, so that was one. Then later in the day, the AP had to make its story say grand juries had told Boxwine to fuck off with TWO people that day, because IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
The second person yesterday, the seventh grand jury total, was also charged with threatening to kill Trump, allegedly supposedly. And lo and behold Boxwine did say, “Edward Alexander Dana, I slosh in your general direction!” (Paraphrase.) And the grand jury said, “HEEEEENGH?” (Exact words.)
Anyway, Dana allegedly supposedly threatened to kill Trump while in custody, arrested for some other bullshit as part of Trump’s Nazi attack on DC.
Dana’s lawyer, whose name is Elizabeth Mullin, would like to underline how fucking unprecedented this is, how rare it is for grand juries to suddenly go vegetarian in the face of all these delicious ham sandwiches:
[Mullin] said she has never seen anything like this in over 20 years as a public defender in Washington. She said prosecutors are responding to Trump’s surge by bringing “weak cases” that don’t belong in federal court.
And Boxwine responded to this development by saying WAAAAAAAAAAAH NOBODY WILL SIGN OFF ON MY BULLSHIT INDICTMENTS, WAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M A FAILURE BEFORE GOD AND MAN AND EVERY PERSON WHO WORKS AT THE FRANZIA FACTORY, WAAAAAAAH:
[Boxwine], whom Trump appointed to be the top federal prosecutor for Washington, said a grand jury’s refusal to indict somebody for threatening to kill the president “is the essence of a politicized jury.”
“The system here is broken on many levels,” Pirro said in a statement. “Instead of the outrage that should be engendered by a specific threat to kill the president, the grand jury in DC refuses to even let the judicial process begin. Justice should not depend on politics.”
Hahahahahahahahahaha, sure, Boxwine, it’s “the system” that is broken. All these grand juries, independently of each other, looking at these bitchass fuckin’ loser indictments and saying, “LMAO these are some bitchass fuckin’ loser indictments,” and proceeding to wipe their asses with them.
Back to that lawyer who was explaining how unprecedented it was to be completely unable to indict a ham sandwich:
“And the grand juries are seeing through it,” Mullin said. “It’s a huge waste in resources.”
Reminder: This is not just happening to Boxwine, it happened to the Trump dipshit US attorney in LA too. So don’t just go thinking, “Well, obviously, when you hire US attorneys from Fox News, of course they’re going to be fuckin’ bad at it. Nobody thought the queeny drunk with the bad skin and masculinity issues was going to be a good Defense secretary, either. These people have one skill, and it is licking Trump’s taint while also tickling his balls.” You are correct about their one skill, but not about acting like this is just a Boxwine problem!
Because again, it happened to Bill Essayli in Los Angeles! And it’s gonna happen to errrrrrrry other Trump US attorney who lives in a place where they’re gonna end up with non-Nazis on their grand juries. And it’s also likely to happen in places with all-Nazi grand juries, especially if those Trump US attorneys still bother to read grand juries instructions that say things like “There needs to be probable cause that I am not just making shit up and/or exaggerating shit and/or ICE isn’t just making shit up and/or we should show SOME evidence a crime has been committed and be able to prove that somebody was really serious making threats against the president, as opposed to just blowing off steam on Facebook and we’re trying to make a federal case out of it like idiots.”
These Trump US attorneys are such mouthbreathing apes and cows, they’re liable to have some all-Nazi Republican grand juries come back like “Sieg Heiiiiiiiiiii don’t know about that, actually … ?”
And then they will all go out for ham sandwiches together, just to rub it in.
The AP reminds us that this courthouse in DC is the exact same place where grand juries agreed to indicted one million billion Trump terrorists and Nazis for attacking the Capitol on January 6. The AP is a real dick for reminding us of that, right here in this article about Boxwine.
Yeah, you’re right, Boxwine is pretty fuckin’ bad at her job, LOL.
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Dag, and it only took three tries for Peter to make Jebus's shitlist.
Unanswered question: Was Pirro denied 7 times before the cock crew?
I memed this post.
https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/34a93926-6e6c-463b-b529-921dc993dc9b?target_reply_id=f1fc0839-4b02-45e0-a56d-31f4a3647b0c&showTarget=true