She's Not Faking Smart Today. Tabs, Tues., May 20, 2025
She's not gonna do it tomorrow either.
Welp. Here we go.
Alina Habba, (acting) US attorney for New Jersey, has not made good on her suggestion that she possesses the ability to fake being smart, but she does say she has indicted Democratic Rep. LaMonica McIver on (completely made up) charges of assaulting feds when McIver went to that ICE Nazi Gestapo facility to conduct oversight, and was not allowed. (As of 10 p.m. last night, nobody had actually seen any charging documents.) Habba, a remarkably stupid woman among a team of stupids, has meanwhile decided to drop the (completely made up) charges against Newark Mayor Ras Baraka. What’s real funny about this is that it literally all happened on camera, so we all know McIver didn’t assault any damn person. This would be like if Maxine Waters had faced charges for brutally beating up that one young man (it’s OK, he got better almost immediately). Anyway, it’s bullshit, it’s transparent bullshit, it’s 100 percent an attempt to intimidate Democrats away from conducting the oversight that is literally their job. Now we are a country where the thugs indict members of Congress — or say they have, maybe Habba is still writing out pages in her Burn Book about McIver and the indictment isn’t ready yet — simply to try to intimidate the opposition. [New York Times / Washington Post]
Statement from Rep. McIver:
The other day it was reported that Trump’s DOJ was considering changing the rules to let US attorneys indict members of Congress without running it by the Public Integrity section first. Dunno if they already changed it, or if the Bridge-And-Tunnel-Parking-Garage-Lawyer brought it to them and they were like yeah sure cool. How would we know the difference in Trump’s banana republic Justice Department? [Washington Post]
Maybe if ICE and Homeland Security whined some more:
Cory Booker voted yes on making Charles Kushner — yes, that Charles Kushner — the ambassador to France. Because we guess some things are just more important than saving the country from fascism. [New Jersey Globe]
LMAO, you know how Qatar, out of the goodness of its heart, offered to give Donald Trump a brand new gently used 13-year-old plane, as a gift, because they were so proud of him? Yeah no, Trump begged for it. And they were going to buy it, or lease it. [CNN]
Wall Street Journal calling Trump and his tariffs and idiot again, specifically on Trump’s little bitch-fight he’s picking with the CEO of Walmart over raising prices. Key line: “Despite his business background, Mr. Trump doesn’t know much about retail.” Or fuckall about anything else, if we’re being honest. [Wall Street Journal]
Trump and his Nazis are ripping temporary protected status away from 300,000 Venezuelan migrants who were here legally (hence the temporary protected status), and the Supreme Court is letting them. [NBC News]
Meanwhile, at least 50 of the Venezuelan men sent to Trump’s Salvadoran concentration camp were here legally. We’re sure it’s more than that, but at least 50. [The Hill]
Add Romania to the list of countries rejecting Trumpy authoritarian shitmouth dictator type candidates in favor of decent people. It’s almost like the entire world has looked at what the US did and said no thank you very fucking much. [CNN]
Putin played Trump again during their phone call yesterday, used him like a fucking chew toy. As usual. [JoeMyGod]
Secretary Shitfaced has been announced as the grand marshal for a NASCAR race, oh boy we hope that doesn’t involve him getting behind the wheel. [Twitter]
Steve Bannon and Laura Loomer are certifiably insane, Joe Biden’s Prostate Cancer edition. [RawStory]
Here is Trump babbling about Biden having “stage 9” cancer, and then babbling about autopens. Wouldn’t it be neat if somebody with an extremely profitable, unearned position in the mainstream media wrote a book about Donald Trump’s apparently rapidly increasing dementia?
Wanna feel like some kinda fake Julia Child, but not the spying part, because PFFFFT you would be a terrible spy? Here is a recipe for a braised pork and leeks with mushrooms situation, inspired by the veal dish blanquette de veau. My tips: It calls for pork shoulder. Your butcher might try to give you butt. (He’s like that.) You can let him give you butt — you’re like that — but you’ll want to do some trimming OR just cook the fatty parts too for flavor and pull them out for serving. Second tip is I used more mushrooms than it called for, both white button and cremini, and this is fine because you can never have too many mushrooms, especially in a thing like this. [New York Times]
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Unintended consequences, for instance, trying to intimidate the opposition with bullying tactics, but instead, galvanize the opposition into even more action against your Nazi ass.
And since ICE's fee-fees are hurt by being called the Gestapo, I'll call them the Gestapo - cry harder Gestapo!
BTW, the Gestapo claims that people here illegally will be deported. Fair enough, but there was no mention of due process. Maybe that is why your fee-fees are getting hurt - Americans don't like your tactics, because it's like, well, the Gestapo.
Conclusion, if you don't want to be called the Gestapo, don't fucking act like the Gestapo!