Alina Habba Not Gonna Start Faking Smart TODAY. Sucks For You, Haters!
If the writers made up a lawyer this stupid, people wouldn't believe it.
Here is Alina Habba, Donald Trump’s lawyer, on Fox News yesterday, talking about the trial for Mr. Snoozers and his big porn peener payoffs. Specifically she is talking about what a hard time they’ve had getting the whole jury picked and seated. (It’s actually not going that slowly.)
HABBA: I think that we’re seeing a painful, unfortunately, selection, because we’re in the state of New York, which is definitely by design. There is no question that Bragg bringing this in New York, look at the Fulton County DA, and so on and so forth, these venues are selected for exactly this reason, Martha, so that they have a blue state with a blue pool …
“Somebody said to me, 'Alina would you rather be smart or pretty,' and I said, 'Oh easy, pretty. I can fake being smart.'” Every day of her life is pretty clearly an exercise in taking that statement and saying BUT NOT TODAY, SATAN.
You might be tempted to argue that Habba is only playing stupid, that she’s saying these things because she knows the average person who watches Fox News has the brain of somebody who literally just had a “Looney Tunes” anvil fall on their head and nobody has removed it yet. But we are sorry, Occam’s Razor says she really is that stupid. This is Donald Trump’s lawyer we are talking about. He doesn’t exactly attract evil geniuses.
She’s literally saying DA Alvin Bragg bringing the case in New York is a conspiracy, as opposed to that simply beeing where he’s the district attorney, and where Trump committed the crimes. Just like in Fulton County and Washington DC. These venues are selected because they are where the prosecutor has jurisdiction and they are where Trump committed the oh fuck it, she’s too stupid to type it out like this.
If she hasn’t picked it up yet, she’ll never.
Habba said much the same on Newsmax last night: “We’re in a blue state, that’s all by design. Don’t get it twisted, folks!” Okeydoke, Ms. Attorney At Law!
She also reacted to reports of Trump falling asleep constantly in court by saying, well, “he reads a lot.” Sounds right.
Back on Fox, here is Habba telling Martha MacCallum that — please sit down and swallow all the liquids in your mouth for your own safety — that judges admonish defendants and lawyers like her in order to frame them for stupid.
HABBA: I’ve been admonished like that, it’s by design. It’s to make you appear to be inept, and to make you appear to be stupid in front of the jury, and don’t think it’s not intentional …
Dear God. Did somebody tell Habba that after a really tough day of judge admonishing — don’t worry, it happens to all lawyers! — and she really truly believed it? Dear God!
Habba also told MacCallum that if Trump is jailed for repeatedly and constantly violating his gag order, it will literally be like Nelson Mandela and we have to end this blog post now before she says anything fucking stupider.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
He WILL be like Nelson Mandela in the sense that his body metabolizes carbohydrates and oxidizes the resulting short-chain hydrocarbons within organelles called "mitochondria" to convert food energy into a form of chemical energy useful intracellularly.
LOL, the "he reads a lot" guy couldn't be bothered to skim the daily White House briefings, but sure. I guess "The Little Golden Book: Mr. Fox's Big Day at the Circus" is a type of reading.