There were a lot of insane speeches at the Republicans’ midterm wankfest in Dallas this week. There was Tim Scott, who normally has all the fieriness of bran flakes, screaming and practically running in circles in pursuit of his tail like a yappy and excited Lhasa Apso. There was Robert Jeffress, the wingnut preacher, calling Democrats advocates for evil and sin, to which we could only say Well, he got us on one out of two just before we headed off to the weekly meeting of our orgy/fetal smoothie club. There was President Trump getting the entire crowd to raise their right hands and swear a loyalty oath to him, after which he announced everyone now must wear their underwear on the outside of their pants.
Then there was Ted Cruz, a man so unlikable that bullies in high school left him alone out of pity. Cruz’s speech was such over-the-top bullshit about specific Democrats that it drove one pustulent boil in the audience to keep calling for them to be shot. You keep it classy, Republicans!
It was particularly ironic given that Cruz opened his speech acknowledging the one-year anniversary of the death of sainted martyr Charlie Kirk, who would probably have been on stage this week calling Democrats communist Marxist Islamist transgender welfare-loving terrorists if he wasn’t busy being dead.
The fun starts around 4:55 in this video. Listen carefully, you can hear “he should be shot” when Cruz name-checks Zohran Mamdani, Abdul El-Sayed, and James Talarico:
Bless their hearts. Calling for shooting politicians in Dallas, a city which famously has some familiarity with political assassination.
CRUZ: When Mamdani says he wants to seize the means of production ...
PUSTULOUS BOIL: He should be shot!
Mamdani may as well call for seizing the means of production, wresting all the capital from the bourgeoisie and empowering the proletariat, because Republicans are going to say that’s what he’s doing anyway.
CRUZ: When Abdul El-Sayed says he has a quote, obligation to comply with sharia law ...
PUSTULOUS BOIL: He should be shot!
It’s going to be so much fun the first time Cruz, that doughy fuckwad, bumps into El-Sayed in the Senate gym, where the new senator from Michigan will be bench-pressing 300 pounds while the senator from Texas is getting winded after five minutes on a treadmill running at 3 miles per hour.
Is one of sharia’s requirements a workout program to get swole? Maybe Ted Cruz will try it when he gets tired of resembling a Little Debbie Snack Cake.
As an aside, did anyone see that beefcake photo of Hasan Piker that Republicans showed the crowd the first night of the convention? Oh you did? Sorry, I’m not here on Thursdays. That must have been a weird moment for anyone in the arena who contributed to this week’s spike in activity on Grindr in the greater Dallas area.
Cruz had name-checked Piker just before Mamdani, and while he didn’t draw calls for someone to shoot him, we wonder if any reporters will demand Ted Cruz denounce the pustulous boil who was shouting these death threats? Journalists demand every Democrat answer for Piker every time he says anything that could be twisted into even the mildest of controversies. Surely they can demand Cruz and every other Republican denounce and disavow a member of their party calling for the murder of Democrats on national television?
CRUZ: When James Talarico says he wants to dismantle capitalism ...
PUSTULOUS BOIL: He should be shot!
That guy needs to switch to either decaf or methadone.
How have the candidates reacted to calls for them to be shot? Well, Mamdani was a little busy politely shaking hands with Rudy Giuliani at Friday’s 9/11 memorial ceremony in New York, after Giuliani spent weeks calling his participation a slap in the face because DRRR SCARY MOOSELEM DRRRRRRRR. James Talarico has been busy getting interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel.
El-Sayed, on the other hand, was asked about the comments in an interview with CNN’s Kaitlan Collins. He’s usually a pretty gung-ho guy, but this time he seemed sort of rattled:
Ted Cruz also has two daughters who probably hate him as much as everyone else on the planet hates him. But if someone had called for him to be shot, we would also have said we hope his daughters get to grow up with him. Because that’s the decent fucking human thing to say.
Instead, Ted Cruz (or whoever runs his Twitter account) was on Twitter denouncing a random Democratic candidate for the North Carolina House for her “embrace of violence.”
El-Sayed is correct that this call for violence should be condemned across the board. As of midday on Friday, we had seen plenty of denunciations of the rando in Dallas calling for murder from Democrats, as you would expect. We have yet to see any Republicans do so. As you would also expect. We’re not holding our breath that will change.
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I need people to understand the other context behind how Murc's Law protects this disgusting act. Please keep this in mind when looking at, for example, what happened to Maxine Waters and Joe Biden about their campaign/political rhetoric.
It is perfectly fine to threaten Democrats in this way in the United States, and I have to impress upon you why this is:
Democrats do not have the presumption of humanity because Democrats enfranchise and protect those who have no presumption of belonging in the USA. The racial minorities. Queer people. Women with "danger hair" and pronouns who won't fuck chuds. Because they have no presumption of belonging to those benefiting from colonization, it follows that they have no presumption of humanity.
Think of this context when you think of open carry. People menacing polling places with open carry.
Think about this when Republicans pay actually no price electorally for vowing to cut the disaster aid of Democratic states. It is a PLUS that they hurt Democrats.
And sadopopulism, which this is part of, is electoral gold for them.
Are you prepared to outnumber them at the polls? Make sure your voter registration is active. Make sure you are ready.
Vote early in person. And if unable to do so in person, if you do a mail ballot, official dropboxes only. Do not rely on the USPS.
Mount up!
And Don't Give up The Ship!
“I like Ted Cruz more than most of my colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.”
- Senator Al Franken