Should Todd Blanche Take Away Ghislaine Maxwell’s Puppy Privileges?
You know, now that we have all this TOTALLY NEW information?
A funny little thing happened on Twitter yesterday with Todd Blanche, Donald Trump’s personal lawyer who is “now” “serving” as the deputy attorney general, where he is … Donald Trump’s personal lawyer. He was the one who went and asked Ghislaine Maxwell the stupidest questions imaginable, because he’s a man with zero dignity, in order to try to elicit some kind of useful lie from child rapist Ghislaine Maxwell that would TOTALLY EXONERATE Donald Trump and make people stop asking about his role in the Epstein Files. (Which are named after Donald Trump’s favorite child rapist, who is dead now. But don’t worry, Trump likes both of these child rapists!)
Blanche was also, presumably, the guy who signed off on all the new fun privileges for Maxwell, including the move to the sexy Club Fed facility where she now lives, where she gets to play with puppies and eat bon bons and everybody on the prison staff waits on her, which is not the way child rapists usually get treated in prison. But most child rapists aren’t Donald Trump’s favorite living child rapist. (Though based on everything we’re learning about his character, we can’t imagine he hates any of them that much.)
So yesterday George Conway was bein’ a real Mean Maurice to Todd Blanche on Twitter about all this, considering all the new revelations about Trump and Ghislaine we’re learning from this latest amuse bouche to the big kahuna that would be a full Epstein Files release.
We pick “B”! We pick “B”! The reason we pick “B” is because with Trump people, you should always assume they are doing the most evil possible, then work backward from that only if exonerating evidence shows, up, which it never does.
But we also pick “A”! We also pick “A”! Because with Trump people, you are at all times dealing with the stupidest people God ever accidentally created when He went to drop His kids off at the pool and one of his dumber angels thought He literally meant he was dropping off His beloved children at the pool and the angel went and got them out of the pool and turned them into unborn babies. And that is the story of how MAGA people were invented!
Either way, as George Conway said. Not fit to serve, that Todd Blanche.
Oh that made Todd Blanche angry!
Hahahahahaha, raise your hand if you are stupid enough to believe any of that, and we’ll tell you which pool God dropped you off in the day you were born.
You guys, the feds just didn’t have any of this information, and certainly not any of the Trump feds who have been giving Trump’s favorite child rapists these sloppy wet reacharounds all these years! Remember, Pam Bondi said she searched the FBI and DOJ and also her whole desk where she previously said the Epstein Files were sitting, and it turned out there was nothin’ there!
They’re finding out about it now, same as we are!
But sure, said people on the internet. Fine. We’ll humor this stupid Trump bitch, based on the theory of picking option “A” above. So they started replying. Hey Todd! Since you now know all this TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION:
Haha, silly questions from people who already know the answer, which is that to remain a member of the Trump regime in good standing, you have to love protecting pedophiles and child rapists, at least the ones who are beloved of mankind’s most disgusting predator of them all, AKA their boss.
Or if you don’t love it, at least you have to learn to do it without complaining!
Speaking of people who apparently love protecting pedophiles and child rapists — and who once admitted on live TV that they entrapped their now-wife by letting the air out of her tires, in order to lure her into their own vehicle — last night Jesse Watters explained on Fox News that according to Ghislaine Maxwell, child rapist, Donald Trump did nothing wrong, so we guess Fox News viewers should just put away all remaining vestiges of moral concerns they might have and learn to love all these extremely powerful child rapists and predators. (After all Megyn Kelly, it’s not like we’re talking about kids kids, are we? Right, Megyn Kelly? Right?)
Here is Jesse Watters last night, trying so fucking hard to inflate the president’s flaccid tires and reassure him everything is going to be OK:
Watters said, “Ghislaine Maxwell” — the child rapist — “said Trump did nothing wrong! So have Epstein’s victims! And Epstein’s lawyer! And none of these emails implicate Trump! So we’re back to square one!”
Hahahahahahahaha, OK, keep fucking that chicken, bud.
(Wait, is that chicken underage? Maybe it’s a barely legal chicken, somebody should ask Megyn Kelly. What’s that old expression about if there’s grass on the field, you can keep fuckin’ that chicken? What’s that expression, Megyn Kelly?)
In summary and in conclusion, we’ll finish with the question that’s on all our minds, which is WHAT DID JEFFREY EPSTEIN’S BROTHER MARK EPSTEIN MEAN WHEN HE ASKED WHETHER PUTIN HAS “THE PHOTOS OF TRUMP BLOWING BUBBA”? (Italics ours.)
AND JEFFREY EPSTEIN SAID, “I THOUGHT- I HAD TSURIS.” [SIC]
(“Tsuris” means “troubles” in Yiddish.)
WHO IS BUBBA? WHO?
Because the only person we know about whose nickname is “Bubba” is …
OH MY FUCKING GOD, DID DONALD TRUMP BLOW BILL CLINTON, RIGHT ON HIS SLICK WILLY?
We are going to need to know an answer to this one, fast.
Maybe Karoline Leavitt can angrily twitch her fillers later and lie to us about who “Bubba” is.
Maybe it’s Ghislaine Maxwell’s puppy, you don’t know.
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The more I see of the moneyed classes, the more I understand the guillotine.
-George Bernard Shaw
At least we already got lotsa jokes! 😭
The Daily Show @TheDailyShow
Megyn Kelly doesn't see Epstein as a pedophile, just a diet pedophile
8:02 AM · Nov 14, 2025
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https://xcancel.com/TheDailyShow/status/1989317893905899610