596 Comments

Soon someone will be changing Trump's diapers in the pen.

Expand full comment

The MAGA rooster is coming home to roost, or whatever the saying is. Trump accumulated so much crime and corruption in full view of America and the world, it was only a matter of time before democracy prevailed and justice came calling. He’s finally got a bill to pay, and he’s going to be in trial for the next year while his pathetic life goes down the drain.

Expand full comment

I was told it was your FACE that would get stuck like that if the wind changed. No one said anything about Caps lock.

Expand full comment

Obligatory: "I hold down the shift key, bitches!"

- some troll immortalized on DEAR SHIT FER BRAINS

Expand full comment

“𝘞𝘦’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘺’𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘈𝘐 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴:”

Said it before, Shitler’s posts are what you’d get if you programmed dementia into an AI and turned off the autocorrect. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Expand full comment

Why's the freak freaking out? Isn't this Georgia trial a State of Georgia affair, which means if convicted, he can't pardon himself or get one of his lackeys to pardon him?

I'm more interested in how this inconvenient fact will affect his dopey crew (Ghouliani, Meadows, etc) who will no doubt also be indicted. The fact that Turnip can't promise a pardon has got to weigh in their calculus about flipping on the Carrot Ferret.

Expand full comment

"Carrot Ferret"

(adds to list)

Expand full comment

FO time for one who FAed.

Expand full comment

I relish his fear and desperation, it is the cream in my coffee.

Expand full comment

Well, if the Glorious Leader wants someone to "tell the Grand Jury" that he didn't rig the election, he can do it himself, you know.

Of course, he has to take an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and when -- not if -- he perjures himself, he'll be facing even more legal troubles.

Expand full comment

I doubt he can even state his name without lying.

Expand full comment

Name: Der Fuehrer.

Occupation: Der Fuehrer.

Age: 27, single, and rocklike abs, ladies.

Expand full comment

Or simply fucking it up.

"What is your favorite COLOR?"

Expand full comment

"My favorite color was rigged, it was rigged, it was rigged."

Expand full comment

"Somebody tell the Grand Jury...." Tell them yourself. Under oath.

Expand full comment

You can tell tRump is "losing his shit". All of his tweets are in all caps. He's scared shitless of going to jail, and I'm loving it.

Expand full comment

You sound scared, bro.

Expand full comment

Maybe he can get away legally with insulting the judge and prosecutor (although it's stupid of him, but what else is new). But how can he talk shit about Duncan, a witness against him, without getting smacked?

Expand full comment

No (further) special treatment. Exceptions for this psychopath are among the things that got us here. It's a criminal matter. He can appeal his contempt of court like every other defendant. Any judge anywhere is going to require plausible assurances that PAB's behavior will change, whatever the "less inflammatory" sanctions imposed.

Nope, I believe that a warning, "You will be jailed until the court is satisfied that you will conduct yourself in a civilized manner." followed by letter of the law punishment.

Expand full comment

<adinfinitum>"Weaponized!!!1!!1!!"</adinfinitum>

Expand full comment

"ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS CITIES ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD"

`

Life hack: Whenever you see this on a social media post, it means n[racial slur]. Same with "crime", "thugs", "urban", and for some reason, "Chicago".

That is EXACTLY what that means, and that is ALL that it means.

Expand full comment

"Chicago"

My guess is its African-American and lesbian former mayor Lori Lightfoot is the cause for that.

Expand full comment

No, it's because Obama entered politics there

Expand full comment

I'd go as far to say it's PREzactly what it means. Though I'm sure that it could be broadened to include other not-quite-white minorities in a pinch.

Expand full comment

“…FACEBOOK, THE TOP AGENT IN CHARGE OF THE RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA HOAX JUST BEING ARRESTED, THE “INSURANCE POLICY” & 51 INTEL AGENTS SCAM…“

I would love it if someone could explain to me what delusions these are. I’ve never heard about any of this, as best I can remember.

Expand full comment

This bit: THE TOP AGENT IN CHARGE OF THE RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA HOAX

refers to Charles McGonigal, the chief of counterintelligence at the FBI's NY office, who is about to plead guilty tomorrow in a case involving collusion and bribery with a Russian oligarch, Oleg Deripaska, "who figured prominently in the investigation by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, into Russian meddling in the 2016 U.S. presidential election."

"But Charles Franklin McGonigal was no ordinary agent. As the chief of counterintelligence for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in New York, he was tasked with rooting out foreign efforts to steal vital national security and economic secrets in one of the world’s most fertile cities for spying."

Typical of Trump, he doesn't quite register that this FBI top-dog is guilty of colluding WITH Russia AGAINST the United States, not the other way round. Thus, similar to Trump himself and the opposite of a "hoax." Not really gonna help his case.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/14/nyregion/fbi-mcgonigal-oligarch-nyc.html

The "51 intel agents" is a reference to a public letter written in October 2020 (just before the election) by 50 national security professionals that declares that the emails supposedly from Hunter Biden's laptop (provided by Giuliani to the NY TrashPost), which involve his Burisma dealings have "the classic earmarks of a Russian information operation." The thrust of the letter is to warn America that Russia is once again trying to influence the election. Trump seems to think they mean that Hunter Biden, working with the Russians, was trying to get his father illegally elected. It's very old news, and AFAIK the chain of custody on those emails is very dubious indeed.

https://www.politico.com/f/?id=00000175-4393-d7aa-af77-579f9b330000

As for the insurance policy? No clue.

Expand full comment

It's all coded. You're not supposed to understand.

Expand full comment

It sounds like he's really got something big-- to his uninformed sheep.

Expand full comment