South Park Teases Blaming Canada Again

What was Trump's 'aboot' about, eh?

There wasn’t a new episode of “South Park” last Wednesday, quite possibly because the show’s creators were expecting to be sued to hell and back by the president of the United States for his unflattering portrayal in the cartoon’s season 27 premiere two weeks ago and thought there’d be new material.

“The 27 Club” is a term coined to describe the sheer number of cultural icons — Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, etc. — we lost too early at the age of 27, but Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s oft-kicked baby plans to stick around for longer if not Colberted from on high. The new season’s debut — the show’s first scheduled release since more innocent times in March 2023 — was originally set to air in early July but was pushed back as the two finalized a five-year deal with Paramount worth roughly $1.5 billion for streaming rights and original content.

That’s well above the baseline for “fuck you money” and they immediately began spending it.

The ink was barely dry before the two chomped on the hand that feeds them à la John Oliver by drawing attention to — amongst other things — their new corporate owners’ $16 million bribe to Stupid Hitler for the alleged mental anguish he suffered by watching Kamala Harris be smarter than him on “60 Minutes” to help smooth over a multi-billion dollar merger with Skydance Media they needed the FCC’s Trump’s blessing for.

Paramount Officially Bribes Trump With $16 Million

You’ve probably seen the footage by now of a dehydrated, undiapered Dear Leader lumbering through the desert for America, but if not, voila. (Disclaimer: The clip contains fictional AI imagery generated poorly of a sentient mushroom peen and due to its content should not be viewed by anyone.)

That’s the scene that got everyone talking, including White House spox Taylor Rogers upset the show didn’t respect their boss’s authoritah:

“This show hasn't been relevant for over 20 years and is hanging on by a thread with uninspired ideas in a desperate attempt for attention. President Trump has delivered on more promises in just six months than any other president in our country's history, and no fourth-rate show can derail President Trump's hot streak.”

But what caught this Canadian viewer’s eye was the adjudicated rapist’s surprise casting as Satan’s new sex partner, taking dictator Saddam Hussein’s place in bed from two decades ago and complete with the flapping-head animation style the show typically uses to denote a character is one of us.

The easy shortcut has been used before for famous non-citizens such as the Butcher of Baghdad, but they also gave him the trim, box-shaped body northerners typically receive instead of the more accurate Cartmanesque physique on full display in the live animation scene. Plus he suspiciously called Beelzebub “buddy” while begging for a bone and clearly mispronounced the word “about” as aboot, which seems like weapons-grade foreshadowing of a storyline where the mad bastard ends up with some sort of Canuckistan heritage. His grandfather did once run the best little whorehouse in the Arctic.

The Time Justin Trudeau Gifted Trump A Picture Of His Grandpa's Brothel

Further fuel to the fire can be found in the teaser for the upcoming season, which features a mob of Canucks marching into battle with an unspecified enemy that seems unlikely to be neighboring Denmark.

Hey Denmark, Voulez-Vous Couchez Avec Canada?

The trailer closes with a spooky voice intoning “Blaaaame Canada” in a callback to the ancient film South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut and its plot involving the US doing its northern NATO ally dirty for reasons just as dumb as pretending we’re somehow to blame for the nation’s fentanyl crisis.

We live in a world where the folks rooting for the execution of Terrance and Philip are now gunning for the Canadian dude who voiced Shrek. But while The Simpsons’ writers room is better known for being surprisingly prophetic — including foreseeing the invention of smartphones, a global pandemic from Asia, Lady Gaga’s superb Super Bowl show, and even Donald J. Trump becoming president way back in 2000 — South Park has its own bonafides as accidental oracles.

Including also predicting the awful con man would someday become president, albeit of a different country.

The President of Canada, circa 2015.

In the 2015 episode “Where My Country Gone” released just a few months after the snake slid down the escalator, the Colorado town finds itself with an influx of Canadian immigrants after a Trump cut-out was somehow put in charge of our constitutional monarchy. As one of them explains:

“Nobody really thought he'd ever be president. It was a joke! But we just let the joke go on for too long. He kept gaining momentum. By the time we were ready to say, 'OK, let's get serious now, who should really be president,' he was already being sworn into office. We weren't paying attention. We weren't paying attention!”

Sound familiar? Parker and Stone might’ve been off the mark with the season two premiere imagining the Great White North overtaken by Iraqi agents bent on world domination, but surely even Trump’s harshest critics wouldn’t wish him a similar fate as the brutal one given to his counterpart by series stalwart Mister Garrison. With or without Mr. Hat’s involvement.

The next episode drops August 6 on Paramount+. If you don’t want to give the craven corporate cowards one red cent, you can sign up for a free subscription for a week before canceling and telling them why. I personally went with a tribute to the immortal Kenny McCormick and wrote: “OMG you killed Stephen Colbert! You bastards!”

Colbert's Final 10 Months Gonna Make Trump's Swollen Cankles Holler, We Reckon