Sunday Shows Stupidity: Time Is A Flat Circle

We watch so you never have to!

Monitoring the idiocy on the Sunday political shows is a never-ending battle. So let’s jump right in!

JD Vance Is Pretty Sure Only Democrats Are In Epstein Files

Normally we try to begin with more legitimate shows, but we have to lead with Vice President JD Vance putting his foot in mouth on “Sunday Morning Futures with Maria Bartiromo” on Fox News.

After wasting almost eight minutes on softball questions about tariffs and a possible 2028 presidential run, Bartiromo gently broached the subject of the Epstein files by asking about Vance’s recently reported secret meeting on the subject.

BARTIROMO: Can you give us clarity on this meeting that is reportedly happening or that apparently happened last night in The White House about the “Epstein Files”? And how you are communicating the “Epstein” story?

Vance, pretending this was an amusing surprise rather than a pre-agreed segue for his bullshit, went with a new strategy: covering up the meeting about the Epstein coverup.

VANCE: I’ve seen so many fake reports about this, so let me set the record straight. There was no meeting at my house last night. There just wasn’t.

BARTIROMO: Was there a meeting at the White House?

VANCE: We did meet at the White House yesterday but not at the time they said we were gonna meet and not about the subject they said we were gonna meet abou

So, Vance’s “clever” gambit was to get pedantic about the time and place for the meeting while sounding like Ben Affleck’s “those weren’t MY dead hookers this time” defense?

After washing balls for Kash Patel, Pam Bondi and the rest of the coverup gang, Vance shifted to his second (and probably workshopped strategy).

VANCE: The president wants us to be fully transparent. […] But, I have to say Maria, I laugh at the Democrats being who are now all of a sudden so interested. […] For four years […] Democrats did absolutely nothing about this story. We know Jeffrey Epstein had a lot of connections with leftwing politicians and billionaires […]

Few things:

1. Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest, prosecution and suicide (or “suicide” LOL) all happened in 2019, while JD’s boss was still president.

2. Democrats didn’t run on “releasing the files.” Republicans did, somehow never considering that Trump and GOP allies would be in them. That’s why it’s easy to include clips like this from just last year!

3. “Epstein had a lot of connections with leftwing politicians and billionaires,” you say? Then release it all! We’ll call that bluff! Release the full files, only redacting victim names, and let’s get accountability from all the scumbags.

But they won’t. Because, even if we believe the files are full of Democratic politicians and billionaires, Vance seems to forget that someone close to him was Epstein’s closest pal.

Jeffrey Epstein really liked this picture.

A former “left-wing” billionaire, even!

Source: SBS News

Lindsey Graham Is Reminded That Time is Linear

South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham was on NBC’s “Meet The Press” to speak about Russia/Ukraine.

After trying to solely blame Joe Biden for this war, host Kristen Welker reminded Graham that his “peacemaker” hasn’t exactly done much to slow down Russia.

WELKER: All right, well, and I hear you saying what's happened under Biden's watch. But the attacks have only ramped up by Russia against Ukraine in recent weeks, on President Trump's watch.

GRAHAM: That's true.

Graham also said there would be “land swaps,” as if Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelenskyy are just trading baseball cards, but this point was made in a dumber way in another show.

NATO Ambassador Meatball McPeener Toilet Gives His Thoughts on Ukraine

On CNN’s “State Of The Union,” host Dana Bash interviewed NATO Ambassador Matt Whitaker.

For some unknown reason, the self-conscious big penis toilet inventor was asked to weigh in on Russia and Ukraine, and his answer was dumber than his expression in the thumbnail above.

WHITAKER: Both sides, again, are going to have to agree to end this war. […] [N]o big chunks or sections are going to be just given that haven't been fought for or earned on the battlefield.

Wow, so as long as you fight and “earn” land on the battlefield, then you can keep it? That’s quite the precedent to be setting in a post-WWII world.

Also, Russia invaded Ukraine. This is no more a “battlefield” or “war” than the current genocide happening in Gaza.

Leave Bernie Alone!

Dana Bash asked Vermont Democratic Senator Bernie Sanders if he intended to run for the presidential nomination again in 2028.

SANDERS: Oh, God. Let's not worry about that. I am going to be 84 years of age next month, as a matter of fact. So I think that speaks for itself.

Have a week.

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