Susie Wiles So Mad At Vanity Fair She Might Not Give Them 11 Interviews Next Time

Whatever Wiles was aiming for with this interview, we're pretty sure she got it.

Wiles and Trump

Whoa, Susie Wiles has been shoveling some dirt, and Trump’s Cabinet is shook!

Donald Trump’s chief of staff — who he thinks he’s not allowed to call his “chief of staff” anymore, because if offends “the Indians” — has previously mostly stayed in the background, cutting checks from Trump’s Save America PAC for subpoenaed loyalists’ legal fees, and for the whole documents-in-the-shitter case, getting on Signal to ask Waltine Nauta if Carlos De Oliveira was “good,” meaning “loyal.” You never suspected that the lady who looks like a grandma could sound that much like a capo! And that is what you deserve for stereotyping.

---

New Trump Chief Of Staff Susie Wiles Says No Drama Allowed! That's It, That's The Joke.

---

And somehow, though Trump went through five chiefs of staff during his first term, ending with poor old indicted Mark Meadows, Wiles has stayed at the job for a whopping 11 months. And now we learn she’s sat down for 11 interviews with Vanity Fair’s Chris Whipple, published in a two-parter (here and here). And she actually had some stuff to say. Not just boring gettin’-to-know you kind of chitchat!

Why now? Who knows! Maybe she thought it would help Trump’s image. Maybe because she knows where all the bodies are buried and how to push the old man’s buttons just right, she just doesn’t care. Or to assert dominance over the rest of the farm animals on Trump’s staff. But she is already huffing it’s a “disingenuously framed hit piece.” And Trump’s entire cabinet has now taken to X to say what a great gal she is, and how that mean Vanity Fair reporter did her so dirty. As if a professional reporter person didn’t record every single word!

(Dominance: asserted.)

And damn, there’s so much in here we gotta do some Axios-style bullet points about it, if you do not have time to read the whole thing. Otherwise we would be typing “and” over and over and it would all get so rambling and disjoined you’d think it was a Trump speech.

The hits:

• Your reminder that Wiles is responsible for laying out the buffet of looney tunes that Trump has surrounded himself with in his second term: Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, Pam Bondi, Marco Rubio, Kristi Noem, and Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who she refers to as “my Bobby” and “quirky Bobby.” She likes these nuts because they are “disruptors.” Of her Bobby: “He pushes the envelope—some would say too far. But I say in order to get back to the middle, you have to push it too far.”

• Russell Vought she calls “a right-wing absolute zealot,” which she does not seem to mean in a bad way.

• JD Vance, she says, has “been a conspiracy theorist for a decade.” (Wonder which ones?)

• While Marco Rubio’s conversion to Trumpistan was slow and principled, Vance’s, less so. “His conversion came when he was running for the Senate. And I think his conversion was a little bit more, sort of political.” Rubio? Principles? Scoff noise.

• Wiles met Trump because of her famous father, a former football player turned CBS sportscaster named Pat Summerall, and starstruck Trump, with a brain forever in the ‘80s, was thrilled to meet his daughter. “He’s said it a million times, ‘I judge people by their genes.’” Then, “they called me one night and said, ‘We’re serious about Florida now. Would you like to co-chair our leadership team?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, I would.’ ” Eugenics-licious!

• But said father, Pat Summerall, was an alcoholic, and Trump, she says, “has an alcoholic’s personality.” “He operates [with] a view that there’s nothing he can’t do. Nothing, zero, nothing.” Yeah, we noticed. Strangely, Trump was accepting of this, telling the New York Post, “I’ve said that many times about myself. I’m fortunate I’m not a drinker. If I did, I could very well, because I’ve said that — what’s the word? Not possessive — possessive and addictive type personality. Oh, I’ve said it many times, many times before.” And he insisted that while Vanity Fair is terrible, Susie is “fantastic.” Oh yeah, she knows some stuff.

• Trump had no idea what was going on with Elon Musk locking people out of offices and cutting USAID, and Wiles did not approve of it: “No rational person could think the USAID process was a good one. Nobody.” She also didn’t approve of his pardoning the most violent January 6 thugs, and the tariffs. (Another possibility: Susie Wiles knows this Trump ship is going down and wants to be one of the surviving rats after the ship sinks.)

• She actually stands up to Trump! She won his respect by walking out on him after he ranted at her over some poll he didn’t like, and then he started calling her every day. (As Stormy Daniels knows, the guy has always swooned for a woman willing to spank him with a rolled-up magazine.) And Wiles is probably the only person on earth who can rein him in. Unfortunately, see bullet point number one, that is the very last thing she wants to do.

• She almost didn’t work for Trump, but she worked on Ron DeSantis’s 2018 campaign for governor, and he was such a flaming asshole she switched sides.

• She’s not going along with any of the Epstein files coverup. “First [Pam Bondi] gave them binders full of nothingness. And then she said that the witness list, or the client list, was on her desk. There is no client list, and it sure as hell wasn’t on her desk.”

• She admits Trump is in those files, though says he doesn’t do anything wrong: “[Trump] is in the file. And we know he’s in the file. And he’s not in the file doing anything awful.” He “was on [Epstein’s] plane…he’s on the manifest. They were, you know, sort of young, single, whatever—I know it’s a passé word but sort of young, single playboys together.”

• And that whole Ghislane Maxwell sweetheart deal? “It was [Todd Blanche’s] suggestion,” and Trump was pissed. “The president was ticked. The president was mighty unhappy. I don’t know why they moved her. Neither does the president.” But, she said, “if that’s an important point, I can find out.” (Notes Whipple, “at press time, Wiles said she still had not found out.”)

• And she admits that Bill Clinton is not in the Epstein files, or a visitor to the island, much less 28 times like Trump had claimed. “The president was wrong about that.”

• But she thinks that Trump’s letter in Epstein’s birthday book was faked, which is why Trump is suing Dow Jones & Company about it.

• She also contradicts Trump on Venezuela. While she’s sure those little boats Pete Hegseth has been blowing up are full of drugs, that’s not why they’re doing it. “He wants to keep on blowing boats up until Maduro cries uncle. And people way smarter than me on that say that he will.”

• She claims Trump and Vance were dicks to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in that suit-shaming episode because he stood up Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent for a meeting where Bessent hoped Zelenskyy would sign off on giving away Ukraine’s mineral rights.

• Trump calling female reporters Piggy and whatnot? She’s cool with it. “He’s a counterpuncher. And increasingly, in our society, the punchers are women.” You’ve come a long way, babies!

• Trump isn’t in it for the retribution. Well, just a little. Wiles thought she had an agreement with the president that his retribution tour would “end before the first 90 days are over.” And, Letitia James, well, that “might be the one retribution.” Wiles added, “I don’t think he wakes up thinking about retribution. But when there’s an opportunity, he will go for it.”

• On Elon Musk reposting a tweet about public sector workers killing millions under Hitler, Stalin, and Mao: “I think that’s when he’s microdosing.” (She says she doesn’t have firsthand knowledge.)

• Trump does not plan to run for a third term, she says. It’s just something he likes to say because he thinks it’s fun to “drive people crazy” with his shit talk. What a fine quality for a president!

So, he’s got a dry drunk’s brain and thinks he can do anything he wants and will take any opportunity in front of him like a garbage-crazed raccoon, but he won’t do that? Sure, lady.

Maybe she is a bit of an opportunist herself. It’s in the genes, right?

Susie Wiles knew exactly what she was doing with this interview.

OPEN THREAD.

[Vanity Fair, Part I / Part II / JoeMyGod / New York Post]

Thank you for being Wonkette’s friend! We have no paywall ever, and no ads, because we’re brought to you by people like you! The button below will let you donate one time or monthly, in any amount of your choosing.