549 Comments
author
Jan 9·edited Jan 9Pinned

It’s Technotronic in your hed gif, yo pump it! https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/pump-it-up?r=angu9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcome=true

Go ahead and refresh your browser. The frame rate is now realllllly slow. I hope this helps with those who were in distress.

Expand full comment
founding
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

Fun fact about this video in particular:

For the chaos of the milli vanilli era, where people seemed completely shocked that two dancers from Germany did not magically perform like middle aged American studio musicians

The dancer performing this song is not the real artist, who looked a little too gender non binary for 1989

https://x.com/tatsgill/status/1167824505319723008?s=46&t=QTHD9GMfDGpAyfUoOmtJMw

See also the model/dancer for “everybody dance now” replacing the vocals of Martha Wash

Also per cunk on earth pump up the jam is the Canadian national anthem

Expand full comment
author

As per what I’ve read, Ya Kid K opted out of publicity because cause she was involved in some other projects. Had not heard the gender non-binary angle. Infuriating if true.

Expand full comment
founding
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

Ahhh, well that’s actually a nicer story then (I was fully just speculating on my part here, and it makes sense in Technotronic’s case as Ya kid K was prominently featured on their other singles)

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

What I are listening to right now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfUo2mPYQ2E

Expand full comment
author

Metal!

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

I know it's a few years old, but I liked it.

Expand full comment

You like years old music? How oldz!!

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

Ah, the besssssst way to start the day. Thanks!!!

Expand full comment
author

Still gets the feets movin' 34 (!!! what?!) years later.

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

I used to believe that my "pump it" days were way past. Then, damned if the pump didn't click on again, albeit at a more relaxed pace, thanks to a wonderful woman. Life can be really surprising, sometimes. Thanks!

Expand full comment

That is so wonderful, Me! I'm very happy for you.

Expand full comment
author

*hugs*

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

Right back atcha.

Expand full comment
deletedJan 9
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

More or less.

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

"If it's too loud, you're too old" now replaced by "if it's too seizure-y, you're too old."

And I'm making fun of myself here. I have trouble with stroboscopic or flashing light effects.

Expand full comment

Yes- strobes cause my migraines

Expand full comment

Yer birb agrees

Expand full comment
deletedJan 9
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

I started wearing earplugs to shows I knew were going to be overly loud decades ago. I also wear them on the subway and at the movies (on the rare occasions I see a film at a theater). My hearing is perfect, too, and I'll be 70 this summer.

Expand full comment

Congrats. Just turned 67 and after 50 years of playing live music still have perfect hearing too.

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

For some mysterious reason, Cunk links something in every episode of "Cunk On" series to that clip. It's bizarre and hilarious.

Expand full comment

It IS soooo funny. And, even once you realize it's coming, it is STILL funny.

Expand full comment
founding

If you rearrange the beats of this song in a perfect circle it’s a scientific formula to pass through solid matter*

*repeating the joke from memory I may have butchered it

Expand full comment

Haha yes before Cunk dredged it back up I hadn’t thought of this song since the 90s.

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

I was going to quote an episode of Cunk on Earth for that, something like "A technological and cultural achievement that wouldn't be matched until the release of unrelated Belgian techno-anthem Pump up the Jam."

Expand full comment
Jan 9·edited Jan 9

It's been long-standing practice here not to post flashing images; what's happening?

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for your feedback. The gif has been changed. I hope this helps for you.

Expand full comment

In slo-mo, it's just annoying

Expand full comment

Great! Thanks.

Expand full comment

It helps greatly. Thank you for your sensitivity and thoughtfulness as well as your wit, beauty, and genius.

Expand full comment

AOT, Martini!

Expand full comment

90s art, dude

Expand full comment

??? That's not the point at all.

Expand full comment

That video is historic art. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Expand full comment

It's the flashing that's the problem, not the art.

Expand full comment

The flashing IS the art.

Are you going to ban Groove is in the Heart, too?!

Expand full comment

Martini I m sorry to complain but that gif is flashy enough to make me vomit.

Could maybe it be replaced with something non triggering.

Expand full comment
author

Oh no, even with the very decreased frame rate that I chose to fix that? I’m sorry.

Expand full comment

can't click. beginning stages of seizure

Expand full comment

I hear you loud and clear. This is the eye equivalent of spraying Shan with perfume. I'm baffled as to why this is remotely debatable.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for your concern and feedback. I've slowed the images down. I hope that helps you.

Expand full comment

It helps greatly. Thank you for your sensitivity and thoughtfulness as well as your wit, beauty, and genius.

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

I missed all the kitties 🐈‍⬛ didn’t I? Looks around morosely -

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

I was trying to remember when "Pump Up the Jam" came out, I was thinking about 1990, so was close. The years seem to meld together the older I get.

Expand full comment
author

I think I read somewhere that the song didn't chart in the US until 1990, so you really were spot-on :-)

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

I had it confused with "Pump up the Volume."

: /

Senior moment!

Expand full comment

SAME HERE!

Expand full comment

Uh oh ... Two competing ear worms. ... Kill me now.

Expand full comment
Jan 9Liked by Martini Glambassador

Mmmm... jam.

Expand full comment

Taylor's been around long enough to know that once you're famous, people are gonna make jokes about you. If she was offended by Koy's very mild crack (which was really about the NFL, anyway), what's gonna happen when people really starting tossing zingers at her?

Expand full comment

Where is the story on Taylor Swift and the Golden Globes hiding? The site is designed to see headlines and not find anything.

Expand full comment

I don't know what a Jo Koy is, but it seems he's gotten a lot of mileage out of flopping as a host, reinforcing the classic Hollywood adage "There's no such thing as bad publicity".

Expand full comment

The Jo Koy pants shitting is bad for lots of reasons, but one of them is there were a bunch of asshole manboys who actually bought Barbie toys and then burned them because WOKE, and instead he goes with HA HA BOOBIES. I mean, fuck that guy.

Expand full comment

The plane was almost full but nobody was sitting in the death seat, where the seat back went down the wind. An empty row? Sorry folks but the word "Providence" seems inescapable here. Attitude of Gratitude.

Expand full comment

Ha. Joke Koy couldn't punch down on Taylor Swift if he was standing on a 5' ladder. "Insult comic" genre is more dead than Don Rickles.

Expand full comment

Have you considered a “damp” January instead of a “dry” January?

No, because January is peak Texas ruby red grapefruit season and nothing beats a salty dog made with a freshly-squeezed one.

Expand full comment

"Has Nextdoor gotten a little racist and gossipy?" I wouldn't say it's 'gotten' that way ...

Expand full comment

My wife's former neighborhood NDN was full of ' there's a young black person walking down the street.'. She lived 3 blocks from a majority black high school.

Expand full comment

Tay-Tay isn't the only one not impressed by Jo Koy. Didn't know who he was before he was announced to host, sorry I know who he is now. Thankfully, there was a good sportsball contest on another channel.

Expand full comment

Boeing's CEO, Board, and shareholders are finding out that running the company as a pump 'n dump scheme has consequences. Not that they care, of course.

Expand full comment

How does one know that I've had a crazy morning at work? I haven't had the chance to even view Wonkette Tabs until literally just now.

I've only read the tab about the former representative lying in her own uncleaned bedclothes, so ... ugh.

Expand full comment

IANAL and I am listening to the oral arguments at the court of appeals but I'm getting the feeling that the panel isn't buying anything that the Tangerine Toddler's lawyer is arguing. Am I wrong?

Expand full comment

If interested, MeidasTouch is running full oral arguments from the court of appeals:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7rrDwatwT8

Expand full comment