The Continued MAGA Freakout Over The Existence Of Bad Bunny!
And Benito's completely unbothered Boricuaness makes them madder!
Here we are, once again, marvelling at the depths of racism and stupidity that Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio has unearthed by his mere existence — and accepting the (unpaid) gig to perform the Super Bowl LX halftime show.
Let’s start where we did last week with serial plagiarist Benny Johnson’s podcast.
Last Wednesday, Trump adviser and lipless Kristi Noem whisperer Corey Lewandowski told Johnson:
“There is nowhere you can provide safe haven to people who are in this country illegally. Not the Super Bowl and nowhere else. We will find you, we will apprehend you, we will put you in a detention facility and we will deport you. So, know that is a very real situation under this administration, which is contrary to how it used to be.”
Ahh, yes, I’m sure ICE is gonna catch all those undocumented workers who are somehow stealing Medicare/Medicaid from American taxpayers (like Speaker Mike Johnson claims), YET somehow have $10,000 (minimum) for nosebleed section at Super Bowl LX.
Not to be outdone by the mister, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem appeared on Benny Johnson’s show to beat a dead dog horse with a similar nonsensical threat.
Before we go to Noem’s quote, can we pause to look at this thumbnail and Benny’s obsession with Bad Bunny? It really screams self-loathing, based on previous accidental admissions by Benny.
Anyway, here’s ICE Barbie’s threats:
“I have the responsibility for making sure everybody who goes to the Super Bowl has the opportunity to enjoy it and to leave, and that’s what America’s about. So yeah, we’ll be all over that place. […] We’re going to enforce the law. So, I think people should not be coming to the Super Bowl unless they’re law-abiding Americans who love this country.”
Fuck you, foreign fans who the NFL has been actively courting by having international games!
If you’re not a law-abiding American like our multiple felon President, we don’t want ya!
I’d be remiss if I didn’t share my favorite racist walking into rakes moment: Former Blaze and current Fox News part-time contributor Tomi Lahren. Lahren invited Krystal Ball, a political commentator and co-host of Breaking Points podcast, to condescendingly talk down in her strangely named show Fearless.
During the wrap-up at the end of the interview, Lahren decided to ask Ball about Bad Bunny’s selection for the Super Bowl halftime show.
Ball laid perfect verbal bait for morons, and Lahren bit into it like the puffer fish-brained idiot she is. Behold this glorious exchange:
LAHREN: Last thing I want to talk to you about is because I’m about ready to do my commentary on it, but do you think Bad Bunny is a good choice for the Super Bowl?
BALL: I’m not that knowledgeable about him, but it seems fine and I don’t know why it’s a big deal. Um, seems like a great American artist, so sure.
LAHREN: He’s not an American artist, but …
BALL: He’s Puerto Rican. That’s part of America, dear.
Whoops!
Lahren, clearly flustered, then went on to try to shift her reasoning. And, again, Krystal Ball retorts in a way that makes Lahren look even dumber.
LAHREN: Yeah. You don’t think you have any problems with him saying like the ICE is … well, I’m sure you don’t, Motherf*ers and sons of bitches and that he’s not going to perform here due to immigration …
Much like Hungarian Nazi Seb Gorka said last week on Twitter, Lahren implied it’s a disagreement based on decency. Well, much like we explained the word “mamabicho” last week, my ever-ingenuous Boricua people came up with a new portmanteau way to refer to these clowns: MAGAbichos! (You’re welcome, America!)
Bad Bunny, for his part, was enjoying hosting SNL for the second time and addressed the freakout during his monologue.
“I’m very happy, and I think everyone is happy about it, even Fox News!”
SNL proceeded to cut spliced-together footage from Fox News, which said, “Bad Bunny is my favorite musician. He should be the next president.” But the part that really made them mad was when Bad Bunny switched to Spanish to send a heartfelt message …
[Translated for you, from Spanish to English] “Especially all of the Latinos and Latinas in the world here in the United States who have worked to open doors … It’s more than a win for myself, it’s a win for all of us. Our footprints and our contribution in this country, no one will ever be able to take that away or erase it.”
… before switching back to English for this monologue ender.
“If you didn’t understand what I just said, you have four months to learn.”
Fellow Tennet Media stooge of Benny Johnson Lauren Chen had this insightful contribution on Twitter.
We would explain the irony of using another colonial language (English) to make this point, but instead, we’ll refer to this amazing piece by Rokita showing how Bad Bunny’s art and music uses Taíno symbolism and culturally reclaims it for all Boricuas.
Meanwhile, Bad Bunny playfully brought fellow Puerto Rican Benicio Del Toro to gently poke fun at the quirky intricacies of Spanish (and Barcelonan accents)on SNL:
But only someone as talented as Benito can end his SNL episode on this brilliant and pitch-perfect recreation of the ‘70s Mexican megahit show (in all of Latin America), El Chavo Del Ocho!
So while the MAGAbichos seethe, the rest of us will continue being united in joy and sharing our culture with the world proudly with Benito.
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For the love of all that is holy, please do not tell Kristi Noem about the existence of the Puppy Bowl.
As mentioned in the previous post, the first documented European language spoken in what is now the United States was Spanish, beginning in 1513, almost a century before Jamestown.
That 1513 exploratory expedition was lead by Don Juan Ponce de León, the former Governor of Puerto Rico. So, what is now the U.S. was ""discovered"" by Puerto Ricans.