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Jul 31·edited Jul 31Pinned

Hey gang, as 'Trix mentioned, I'm on vacation for the next two weeks. I'll try as much as possible to check in and give you a link to the header info each morning, but no promises. BUT, BUT, BUT (hehe, I said "butt") I've gone ahead and written all of the daily Tabs header post "explainers" over on my personal site and I'll make sure to coordinate scheduling them with the Wonkette Tabs post, so just check on over there (https://martiniambassador.substack.com/) every weekday for the deets.

But today, you get a direct link too, 'cause I'm all service-y:

https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/its-johnny-bravo-the-one-man-army

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New Wonkette hack just dropped.. Rather than the 'home' page, I've been going to the Archives page to find my articles. There, they are all listed in order, most recent at the top. Makes it easier to work your way through them, or at least it does for me. Now. Don't say I never did nothin for ya.

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I just wanted to say that I got married in 1983, paid for my entire wedding myself, and it cost $5,000.

It was elaborate, too--I got married in a fancy garden in Beverly Hills, and one of my friends, after looking at my photos, said "Princess Diana has nothing on you." It's not true, of course, but I appreciated the compliment.

And I know that 1983 is 40 years ago. But still.

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Damn. Variety reports that Paul Reubens, better known as Pee-Wee Herman died Sunday.

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Dozens served in Trump’s Cabinet. Four say he should be reelected

Trump sheeple: What do they know?

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Anybody have a free link to the Atlantic article?

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I know it is wrong, but I drove distracted this morning. In my defense, I did not have "hundreds of baby jumping spiders swarming out of the driver's side dashboard speaker grill and onto the windscreen" on my copy of the Distracted Driver's Guide To Distracted Drivering.

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Children serving alcohol in Wisconsin or Iowa. What could go wrong? https://www.theguardian.com/law/2023/jul/31/republicans-child-labor-bars-alcohol-service-age-wisconsin

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Sure glad I was too poor to buy a Tesla. What a scam.

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Peaches got creamed.

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Peaches got creamed.

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It's totally believable that "Peaches" is a born again Christian... nobody else would have the skills to rob an old man blind like that...

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RE: The Whale House, the half acre lot in Santa Barbara (just down the street from the Botanical Gardens) alone is worth a good chunk of that $3.3 million asking price. 💰

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The yellow dots here either mean:

- NATO getting pulled into active war

- Putin losing face

Every yellow dot is a civilian freighter. They are all sitting closely to the line that Russia told them to not enter.

If they decide to go further up north towards Ukrainian harbours, Putin has to go full in, or his bluff is called.

https://twitter.com/waldorf_charles/status/1685939222807470081

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Quote of the day: "It's a sad fact that politics can ruin your life - not just when you practice it as a profession, but also when you get so wrapped up in it that you can't enjoy even the simple pleasures of life unless they flatter your ideology." -- Roy Edroso

Roy said that 11 years ago, and here it is again with even more relevance.

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