The More Things Change, The More Tommy Tuberville Is Still So Goddamn Stupid
It's unbearable.
Yesterday, Ted Cruz didn’t even feel comfortable saying out loud that he would definitely for sure vote to confirm Matt Gaetz to be the least qualified attorney general in American history.
Meanwhile on Fox News, also yesterday, incoming Senate Majority Leader John Thune poured some cold South Dakota piss on Donald Trump’s demands that he be able to recess appoint his Cabinet of freaks, incels, and lunatics. He told Bret Baier:
“All these people have a process that they have to go through. All these nominees are — it's a — you know, advice and consent. That's the Senate's constitutional role when it comes to confirmation of nominations to the executive branch of the government. And we take that role seriously,” he said. “But we also are not going to allow the Democrats to obstruct or block President Trump and the will of the American people.”
Yeah sure, it’s just the Democrats who think the worm in Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain isn’t qualified to run the Department of Health and Human Services.
But at least he seems to be saying those words out loud — “advice and consent” — suggesting that maybe he will not just cower to the dictator and allow him to absorb the coequal legislative branch into the executive.
Pigfuck Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville will, though, yee haw. We guess he’s determined to keep his title of Senate’s Dumbest Republican in the second Trump reign.
Tublets had some old-fashioned Alabammy book-larnin’ to share about what senators are supposed to do, at least as far as he understands it, which is not very.
Discussing the whole Matt Gaetz situation — already a fucking scandal and Trump was barely elected over a week go — Tubble-Bubbles told Fox Business his understanding of “Senate” in the age of Trump:
“President Trump and JD Vance are going to be running the Senate,” Tuberville declared.
No, John Thune is. But good try, cowpie!
The anchor asked if Gaetz would get the votes he needs in the Senate. And this godforsaken hick said:
“I don’t know,” Tuberville replied. “You’re finding all the swamp creatures coming out right now. Everybody’s got an opinion up here. But at the end of the day, President Trump was elected by an enormous vote, and he deserves a team around him that he wants. It’s not us to determine that. We’ve got 53 votes in the Senate. We can confirm with 51.”
Two things: The votes are still not all counted, and Donald Trump leads Kamala Harris by fewer than three million in the popular vote. That margin very likely will get tighter. So go ahead and suck our balls with this whole “enormous vote” thing.
Second thing, though, is where this babbling bumpkin says, “It’s not to us to determine that.” It literally is, actually. It’s literally what the Senate is supposed to do. It’s part of that whole checks-and-balances thing, to prevent tyrant dementia-brained presidents from picking Cabinets full of clownfuckers, conspiracy theorists, and morons. (Tuberville seemed to understand he was allowed to say no when it was Joe Biden’s nominees, of course.)
Tuberville’s two brain cells continued furiously ramming up against each other to form thoughts:
“I’ve already seen where a couple says, ‘I’m not voting for him,'” Tuberville continued. “Wait a minute. You are not the United States of America. You have one vote in the U.S. Senate. You did not get elected the president. Vote with President Trump. This is the last chance we’re gonna have of saving this country. And if you wanna get in the way, fine. But we’re gonna try to get you out of the Senate, too if you try to do that.”
WAIT A MINNIT! YORE NOT THE UNITED STATES! God, what a fucking idiot.
So Tuberville is threatening senators who don’t fall in line with his white supremacist Dear Leader Stupid Hitler. What’s sad is that Republican senators are such chickenshit wimps these days it might matter to them.
Of course, you’d think with this being Trump’s last term that any senator who isn’t up for re-election in 2026 should feel comfortable starting to break free from Trump’s chains. You’d think.
You know, unless what broken dicks like Tuberville really want is for Trump to cancel future elections and stay in office forever, so we can do away with that whole “democracy” thing once and for all. That’s probably what he means when he says “last chance we’re gonna have of saving this country.” Last chance of reinstituting the old confederacy for white supremacist old men, more like.
God, he’s so fucking stupid, though. It must be unbearable for every smart person who ever has to deal with him.
[Mediaite]
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Wait a minute, isn't this the douchenozzle who single-handedly held up military promotions for 10 months because he was in a snit about abortion?
My instinct in all of this now is just to say “I dunno you dumb fucks you figure it out”
So much of the Republican mindset is built around having an enemy to unite against. The resistance doesn’t want to play anymore. Here’s a room full of electrical outlets and knives. I’m locking the door.