609 Comments

As someone who believes in God and all that jizz, AND is acutely aware of human nature and the state of the world; I have the legitimate belief that "Jesus sounds like a real “WOCKA, WOCKA!” whoopee-cushion-plantin’ guy!" is literally true bc the gods are in fact tricksters.

Subscribe to my Substack, wocka wocka~

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Morning Joe's cold open from yesterday said it best.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XUMOh0vvCi4

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“They hid one of their members, waiting to the last minute, watching to see our votes, trying to throw us off on the numbers that we had versus the numbers they had,” Ms. Greene told reporters on the steps of the Capitol after the vote. “So, yeah, that was a strategy at play tonight.”

How exactly is this a "strategy"?

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"Duh, I'm a fool and I got . . . uh, fooled. Wha' hoppen?"

She's such a fine example of a Republican.

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It's the "strategy" of luring your opponent into running into a lamppost.

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On Thursday EmptyGee will appeal the stollen vote to the Supreme Court.

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It’s a mark of how sexist our society is that we (well, we who hang out on Substack) have several hundred euphemisms for Trump, including the go-to “that fat waddling orange turd” but we only have “Sporky” for the distinguished congressperson representing the Planet of the Apes. I suggest we update our invective. “Hell’s Den Mother” is a bonnie start.

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Marginal Traitor Queen

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Murdery Traitor Greene

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"EmptyGee" is another popular choice, and my preference. It sums her up perfectly as far as I'm concerned.

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Is it just me, or does anyone else believe the Neanderthal Nincompoop's hospital baby photo looks like a mugshot?

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They did it! OMG those crazy sumabitches did it!!! Oh, wait, they didn't do it.

Oh well.

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They did it! OMG those crazy sumabitches did it!!! Oh, wait, they didn't do it.

Oh well.

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“They hid one of their members, waiting to the last minute, watching to see our votes, trying to throw us off on the numbers that we had versus the numbers they had,” Ms. Greene told reporters.

How does one last vote (and there always has to be one last vote) throw Repubs off on the numbers? The numbers stay the same except that the numbers on one side go up by one. It's not rocket science. It's not even elementary school math.

I think number frighten Repubs almost as much as women do.

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The House uses Arabic Numbers!1!!

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Don't let them know or they'll make us switch to good, old-fashioned American Roman Numerals. Arabic numbers must be Muslim, after all.

I wonder if they realize that Arabia was advanced when Europe was in its dark ages. I wish Arabia had kept up with that.

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Especially after you already lost the vote.

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If God chose Mike Johnson for this moment in history, then He chose him as a bad example. You know, like Judas, only Johnson is disloyal to an entire country.

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Let's just agree, from now on, to call the hero image "the Marje sharting" pic.

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Can we use it for proof that we need cat images, instead?

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Magic depends on misdirection. Margorie has the attention span of a late night infomercial enthusiast so the misdirection was pretty easy. The walnut shells swirling in her dizzy gaze only made her think of the spinning cups of a sideshow ride. Then suddenly her wallet was gone and all she had was emails from a nice sounding man from Nigeria. Ah politics today.

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Did you know that crushed walnut shells make good cat litter?

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OK, I'm not a Schumer fan but that's a pretty good line

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I am a Schumber fan, not a Xitter fan, but that post was a freakin' masterpiece.

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The GOP is"Trump"ing everything. And that's the problem.

Well... One of the several problems.

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After the fucking fiasco that elected Johnson to speaker, the Republicans will consider only ONE do-over as a huge win….and then it dies in the Senate.

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It's getting so bad, even the MSM can't massage this shit into an attack on the Democrats.

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not from a lack of effort though

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😂🤣😉

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