Last Podcast on the Left had a series on Mormonism. Funny and informative. Warning! Jr. high school humor part of what makes Last Podcast so endearing.
This story made me go watch an old MadTV skit--Mrs. Leona Campbell calls Miss Cleo. I mean, all of the Mrs. Leona Campbell skits are hilarious, but the Miss Cleo one is the only one appropriate to this story.
(Also a huge fan of the "7AM Condo Report" sketches.)
Shutting down this Nephi shit as early as possible makes sense. You let people believe a millenia-old prophet is doing all the work, Old Nephi's going to want a cut of the grift.
So claiming to have psychic powers is perfectly reasonable but claiming you're receiving messages from a 2600 year old prophet, that’s just ridiculous.
So the Mormon church as officially founded April 6, 1830, in New York State, but they have a prophet from 600 BC. Why the delay in the founding of the church? What was happening in the interim? I bet there's a story there...
They crossed the Atlantic in wooden submarines that were “tight as a dish,” settled in North America, had a bunch of wars, then become Native Americans and erased all evidence of their existence.
Rebecca requested that I add a note when I post a Penzey's newsletter. In her comment to me she wrote: "...you have my permission to post them, because the Penzeys are Lib Do-Gooder Friends And Supporters Of Wonkette."
So, with that, here is today's newsletter:
Today’s the last day for regularly $14.95 Cocoa Cuddle gift boxes for just $5, free $4.95 Hug Coin just for stopping in or placing an order, and buy-one-get-one pricing on our Hug blankets. Tomorrow ends the buy-one-get-one pricing on all the mini gift boxes other than the Cocoa Cuddle.
No coupons or codes are needed in our stores or online at penzeys.com for the regularly $14.95 Cocoa Cuddle gift boxes for just $5, free $4.95 Hug Coin just for stopping in or placing an order, and buy-one-get-one pricing on all our other mini gift boxes and on our Hug blankets.
For your choice of a $8.69 Granulated Garlic or $9.69 Roasted Garlic free with $5 purchase in our stores, just spend $5 and be ready to show this email or the printed-out coupon from above. Online at penzeys.com, once you have $5 in spending enter GRAN in the apply code box at checkout for Granulated Garlic or ROAST for Roasted Garlic. It’s so easy.
No coupons or codes are needed as well for our wonderful $69.95 Hoodies of Kindness for just $40, but these hoodies are only available online at penzeys.com. I do love my hoodie. It’s thick, and purple, and just so livable. It holds the message for our time. Nice pockets, too. Maybe the best gift ever.
And sorry, but the supplies in our stores of the Cocoa Cuddle gift boxes are pretty tight. You guys really like these. We were able to resupply our Wisconsin stores yesterday, but in other states there’s a good chance it will be a different mini box offered at that $5 price today. Sorry. But at the same time, thanks for turning out for this offer and for giving our gifts this time of year. It really helps us be us.
Online at penzeys.com our supply of Cocoa Cuddles and the rest of these offers is good because we actually make stuff. We have grinding machines, and blending machines, and machines that fill and label jars. And even better than that, we have good people who care and who know what they are doing and can make these machines produce really good spices. They do good work.
And do please find your way to send out hugs to everyone this year. There is a shortage of love in our world right now. Everyone’s facing just a bit more hurt. As a Cook it is your thing to heal this world. Please do what you can to hug yourself as well. This world needs you so much.
If you are taking us up on the ending-today offers and picking up 2-3 $5 Cocoa Cuddle boxes, a Hoodie of Kindness, or some buy-one-get-one mini gift boxes and are having a tough time choosing between the Granulated Garlic and the Roasted Garlic, I would say go with the GRAN code for the Granulated. Both are awesome, but I find the versatility of the Granulated has me using it more. Get yours today.
But if you live in the Midwest, you can have a package sent to your kid. Take a look at the mini boxes or put together your own. There are some nice sugars for the sweet, and therre are salts as well. I also like Penzey's Pepper, just to throw in some zip.
"we have somewhere around 10,000 pages of Janet Russon ‘Readings’ as part of the investigator case file" Sure you don't mean 10,000 golden plates?
Last Podcast on the Left had a series on Mormonism. Funny and informative. Warning! Jr. high school humor part of what makes Last Podcast so endearing.
How can there be a Mormon prophet from 600 BC? They didn't even have Mormons then.
How can they have a (insert religion here) prophet from 600 BC when they didn't even have (insert religion's adherents here) then?
Prophet Nephi denies having relaxation with That Woman Janet Russon.
Relations, not relaxation. Thanks autocorrect. Though it kinda works.
I like the idea that Mormon prophets don't have "relations", but they LOVE to "relax" with people.
"...the Book of Mormon deceased prophet Nephi."
Whatever else you want to say about this situation, her use of noun adjectival nouns is grotesque.
This is tru tho:
“There’s no talking to the Book of Mormon deceased prophet Nephi,”
That asshole never helps me find my glasses, even tho losing your glasses is the worst.
Also a scurrilous use of noun modifiers.
Didn't they lose some plates a couple of times?
This story made me go watch an old MadTV skit--Mrs. Leona Campbell calls Miss Cleo. I mean, all of the Mrs. Leona Campbell skits are hilarious, but the Miss Cleo one is the only one appropriate to this story.
(Also a huge fan of the "7AM Condo Report" sketches.)
When Miss Cleo was arrested for fraud, Jay Leno said "Who could have foreseen that?"
Perhaps she should have called her psychic friends?
Shutting down this Nephi shit as early as possible makes sense. You let people believe a millenia-old prophet is doing all the work, Old Nephi's going to want a cut of the grift.
I’ve read this story three times and I’m still confused.
Same. I can only conclude that Davis County Attorney Rawlings is as woo woo as everyone else in this story.
Ta, Robyn. Prophecy, schmophecy. Although The Prophecy was a fine movie, and the sequel was good.
One of my favorites. Angels with wings dipped in blood and such.
I see it's the ol' "that doesn't exist and they have it illegally" gambit.
"Honey, I never had hot sex at the Motel 6 with your sister, and it meant nothing to me!"
So claiming to have psychic powers is perfectly reasonable but claiming you're receiving messages from a 2600 year old prophet, that’s just ridiculous.
I wondered about that. How can one illegally obtain somethng that never existed?
You Mountains Meadow massacred that argument!
I think it has more to do with prophet -- I mean profit sharing.
Dean Obeidallah's Substack post:
https://open.substack.com/pub/deanobeidallah/p/it-wasnt-just-giuliani-trump-also?r=ebxy&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
So the Mormon church as officially founded April 6, 1830, in New York State, but they have a prophet from 600 BC. Why the delay in the founding of the church? What was happening in the interim? I bet there's a story there...
They crossed the Atlantic in wooden submarines that were “tight as a dish,” settled in North America, had a bunch of wars, then become Native Americans and erased all evidence of their existence.
Far be it from me to disparage anyone's deeply-held religious beliefs, but I'll do it anyway.
The whole thing is preposterous on its face.
On a level with Scientology.
It's amazing what a century or two will do to make nonsense look more like some kind of ancient wisdom to some folks.
I finally Latinized Robyn's axiom!
ūnus cōnstāns hūmānitās ita est: hōminēs semper crēdunt quōsque sē eōdem mōre agere.
Rebecca requested that I add a note when I post a Penzey's newsletter. In her comment to me she wrote: "...you have my permission to post them, because the Penzeys are Lib Do-Gooder Friends And Supporters Of Wonkette."
So, with that, here is today's newsletter:
Today’s the last day for regularly $14.95 Cocoa Cuddle gift boxes for just $5, free $4.95 Hug Coin just for stopping in or placing an order, and buy-one-get-one pricing on our Hug blankets. Tomorrow ends the buy-one-get-one pricing on all the mini gift boxes other than the Cocoa Cuddle.
No coupons or codes are needed in our stores or online at penzeys.com for the regularly $14.95 Cocoa Cuddle gift boxes for just $5, free $4.95 Hug Coin just for stopping in or placing an order, and buy-one-get-one pricing on all our other mini gift boxes and on our Hug blankets.
For your choice of a $8.69 Granulated Garlic or $9.69 Roasted Garlic free with $5 purchase in our stores, just spend $5 and be ready to show this email or the printed-out coupon from above. Online at penzeys.com, once you have $5 in spending enter GRAN in the apply code box at checkout for Granulated Garlic or ROAST for Roasted Garlic. It’s so easy.
No coupons or codes are needed as well for our wonderful $69.95 Hoodies of Kindness for just $40, but these hoodies are only available online at penzeys.com. I do love my hoodie. It’s thick, and purple, and just so livable. It holds the message for our time. Nice pockets, too. Maybe the best gift ever.
And sorry, but the supplies in our stores of the Cocoa Cuddle gift boxes are pretty tight. You guys really like these. We were able to resupply our Wisconsin stores yesterday, but in other states there’s a good chance it will be a different mini box offered at that $5 price today. Sorry. But at the same time, thanks for turning out for this offer and for giving our gifts this time of year. It really helps us be us.
Online at penzeys.com our supply of Cocoa Cuddles and the rest of these offers is good because we actually make stuff. We have grinding machines, and blending machines, and machines that fill and label jars. And even better than that, we have good people who care and who know what they are doing and can make these machines produce really good spices. They do good work.
And do please find your way to send out hugs to everyone this year. There is a shortage of love in our world right now. Everyone’s facing just a bit more hurt. As a Cook it is your thing to heal this world. Please do what you can to hug yourself as well. This world needs you so much.
If you are taking us up on the ending-today offers and picking up 2-3 $5 Cocoa Cuddle boxes, a Hoodie of Kindness, or some buy-one-get-one mini gift boxes and are having a tough time choosing between the Granulated Garlic and the Roasted Garlic, I would say go with the GRAN code for the Granulated. Both are awesome, but I find the versatility of the Granulated has me using it more. Get yours today.
Thanks for being you,
Bill
bill@penzeys.com
Can I ask, I have this kid who wants Mr Pop Sweet & Salty but I live in the midwest. Any suggestions oh spice and food guru?
But if you live in the Midwest, you can have a package sent to your kid. Take a look at the mini boxes or put together your own. There are some nice sugars for the sweet, and therre are salts as well. I also like Penzey's Pepper, just to throw in some zip.