Tina Peters Goes Free, Immediately Pronounces Herself In No Way Sorry For Undermining Democracy

She's still convinced voter fraud happened.

Abject idiot Tina Peters is free. Score one for crazy.

The mush-brained Colorado lunatic who went to great criminal lengths to try and prove a conspiracy theory that voting machines used in the 2020 elections she oversaw as clerk of Mesa County had flipped votes away from God’s Majestic Lordly Representative on Earth and All the Galaxies of the Universe, Donald Trump, walked out of prison on Monday after Governor Jared Polis commuted her sentence.

A note for the governor: This is what our people call a shanda.

Peters had been approximately 20 months into a nine-year sentence. Polis recently commuted that to a 4.5-year sentence, then ordered her release on parole, much to the consternation of even the Republican district attorney who prosecuted her.

So what did Peters do immediately after the prison gates closed behind her? Did she go right to Arby’s for a celebratory freedom lunch? Did she go home to check on her houseplants? Did she simply go lie on the grass in a field, drinking in the majestic Colorado sky as she thanked her Creator for this unexpected second chance to not spend her golden years locked up in a prison and, worse, wearing the exact same color jumpsuit every day?

No. Peters ran right to Steve Bannon’s podcast to proclaim herself totally unreformed. Way to go, everyone! And by everyone, we mean Jared Polis.

Here’s Peters, speaking haltingly to the human-sized skin tag Bannon, who has been referring to her as a “political prisoner” when he hasn’t been busy drinking water out of the toilet:

“I know that the Democrats are going to cheat, and no one’s really addressing the problem that the Mesa, that I spent my time in prison as retribution for, and that was exposing the election machines that allow the votes to be flipped. So that’s the thing that I really, as we’re coming up on our 250th anniversary, I’m joyful that we still have our liberty. But at the same time, I’m very concerned and burdened with why no one is talking about this.”

First let us say: What, no cornrows? No jailhouse tats? No pruno recipes to share? Come on, you must have done something to show how much you hate The Man.

Second, no one is talking about this because all these “DURRRR DOMINION VOTING MADE MACHINES THAT FLIPPED VOTES IT’S ALL A CONSPIRACY DURRRRR” claims are stupid. Think of all the real crimes that did not get investigated or charged because so many legal resources were taken up by the feverish delusions of a dementia-addled tangelo and the gullible remoras clinging to his backside. Remoras like Tina Peters, for example.

Finally, oh boy, has Peters obviously learned her lesson! Running right to Bannon to spout off about election conspiracies is like if Ted Bundy had his sentence commuted, walked out of prison straight to the nearest microphone, and told everyone that he still loves murder and intends to spend his post-prison life advocating for everyone to do more murder.

Trump To Destroy Colorado In Effort To Free Tina Peters

What The Actual F*ck Is Wrong With Colorado Dem Gov Jared Polis?

Peters also claimed she is now very interested in working on prison reform. Which is the sort of come-to-Jesus moment privileged dipshits always have when the system they had previously never given a thought to comes for them. Though we suppose there are many, many members of the Trump administration who will eventually be grateful if she spends her time successfully advocating for that.

Ahead of Peters’s release, Polis did the same thing that every other soon-to-be-unemployed public figure does: He started his own Substack and wrote a long, long post justifying his decision to set her free. We checked, and somehow he forgot to write the words “my bad” anywhere.

As we mentioned a couple of weeks ago, a three-judge panel of a Colorado appeals court had thrown out Peters’s sentence on the grounds that the trial judge had put too much weight at her sentencing on her statements that were protected by the First Amendment. The appeals court ordered Peters’s resentencing based only on her explicit activities, not on anything she said about her belief in election fraud.

In his post, Polis said that he read the court’s decision and concluded that he agreed, and “her sentence was simply too long.” He then spends several hundred words defensively explaining that sure, Peters is guilty of serious felonies, and sure she’s probably going to keep claiming that election fraud is rampant despite all evidence to the contrary. But [shrugging emoji].

Polis also said nothing about the months-long pressure campaign the White House has been working, threatening Colorado with all sorts of sanctions and yanking of federal money if it didn’t set Peters free. Polis either caved and doesn’t want to admit it, or he really thinks he’s doing the right thing here. We’re not sure which annoys us more.

Also, this jumped out:

The truth is Colorado’s election system remains a model for the nation because of the dedicated public servants who administer it. Election workers across our state deserve gratitude, not threats. Every eligible voter deserves confidence that their vote is counted accurately.

Polis wrote this while setting free a person charged with upholding that model who instead did everything she could to undermine it, thereby putting a dent in voters’ confidence. If you want to protect voter confidence and election workers in the state of Colorado, the last thing you should do is let Tina Peters off the hook!

Polis also addressed the obvious question of why he didn’t simply wait for Peters to be resentenced:

The answer is simple. Any path through the courts would likely have taken years of appeals. I wanted to provide finality to this case, and as Governor I used my constitutional power of clemency to do what I believe is right[.]

What a load of crap. By cutting short the process, reducing her sentence on his own, and then ordering Peters released three years early, even if she remains on parole, Polis gave her the same sort of special treatment Trump gave the J-6 defendants he pardoned en masse when he returned to office last year. Yeah, our judicial system can move too slowly in many ways, including appeals and resentencing. But there is no reason Tina Peters is more deserving of a shortcut than other people.

At least Polis didn’t claim Peters has been rehabilitated. Rehabilitation implies some measure of regret for your crimes, a recognition that you did wrong and want to atone. Tina Peters is obviously nowhere near that point, and never will be. But she is once again free to hit the buffet at Sizzler, so we guess Jared Polis would call it a wash.

[YouTube / Jared Polis’ Substack]

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