Good morning, let’s tab it up.
Happy 100th birthday, Jimmy Carter! [New York Times]
Tonight is the big VP debate between Coach Tim Walz and Stinky McMommyIssues McCouches. Will Walz stuff JD Vance in a couch, or will he fold him up in a couch like the meat in a sleeper sofa? Let’s all watch it together! Yes, liveblogging, yes, etc. [CBS News]
Donald Trump is so cow-tipping stupid that he thinks “nobody expected” a hurricane in September AKA the height of the hurricane season. He also spent the day dumpy waddling around Valdosta, Georgia, and telling people Joe Biden isn’t doing anything for hurricane victims, and that Kamala Harris is too busy raising money to do anything for hurricane relief. (She literally was in FEMA briefings yesterday.) Donald Trump is a piece-of-dogshit pathological liar who can go fuck himself. [Mediaite]
Speaking of pigfucks, House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer has subpoenaed Homeland Security chief Alejandro Mayorkas over ummmmmmm China? and Tim Walz? Tim Walz and China? Sure, Jamie Comer. You betcha. You’re picking a winner this time. Just kidding, pull your banjo out of your ass, dipshit. [The Hill]
Hahahaha, the latest poll from East Carolina University has Mark Robinson losing to Josh Stein 50 to 33. FIFTY TO THIRTY-THREE. Donald Trump leads Kamala Harris by two in that same poll, totally within the margin of error. [New York Post]
Oh boy, y’all are not gonna like this (yes you are). Evangelicals For Harris is running this ad in swing states and nationally during tonight’s debate that says Tim Walz is such a supportive guy he even defended one of his high school students against anti-Christian bullying. Told her she should never be ashamed of who she is or what she believes! And she wasn’t even a lesbian furry from PETA! Your move, JD Vance, just kidding, fuck that guy. [Evangelicals For Harris]
Ted Cruz’s campaign is in trouble so he’s doing this Hail Mary thing where he tries out NOT being the most hated person in the entire Senate and/or world, hahahahahaha won’t work, fuck that guy. [Politico]
Oh hey, a Georgia judge just struck down the state’s six-week abortion ban. Care can resume! Same judge that’s going to be hearing the lawsuit over MAGA fascist Republicans’ new bullshit ballot-counting rules today. Wheee! [CNN]
You will very much want to read this harrowing story of how a couple named Lizzie and Tyler escaped Helene’s flooding in North Carolina. [Garden & Gun]
A letter from Caroline Giuliani about how she lost her dad to Donald Trump, doesn’t want to lose our country to him too. [Vanity Fair]
Gavin Creel, the beloved Broadway singer, actor and star, died Monday at 48 from an awful rare cancer, ugh, fuck cancer. [New York Times]
Made this one-pot miso-mascarpone pasta tonight with some mushrooms, it was good, THE NEW YORK TIMES IS BAD FOR ALL OTHER THINGS. [New York Times recipe blog]
OK that’ll do! See you for more stories when they are posted!
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Huzzah, we have the Tabs! Here is your hed gif info post of the day: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/go-kamala-and-tim
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/6054a752-dac0-4daf-87ea-159589464188
"Oh boy, y’all are not gonna like this (yes you are). Evangelicals For Harris is running this ad in swing states and nationally during tonight’s debate that says Tim Walz is such a supportive guy he even defended one of his high school students against anti-Christian bullying. Told her she should never be ashamed of who she is or what she believes! And she wasn’t even a lesbian furry from PETA! Your move, JD Vance, just kidding, fuck that guy. [Evangelicals For Harris]"
I'm an atheist with a specific dislike for evangelicals, but I'mma have to respect that one, and note that his inspiration also guided her into being an excellent and respected teacher.