Tom Homan Just Wants To Buy Milk And Destroy Families Without Getting Yelled At
The poor guy.
Poor, poor border czar idiot Tom Homan. The doltish Neanderthal just wants to drive his car to Wegmans, lumber in like a slow-witted elephant, buy himself a quart of milk, and lumber back out again, content in the knowledge that he is a normal suburban oaf. But he can’t do that without a security detail, because some communist antifa operative or radicalized wine mom might recognize him and call him names or lob a grapefruit at his giant Easter-Island-head-like head.
No, really, this was Homan’s complaint at the end of a brief Q-and-A with reporters in the White House driveway on Monday. Here we all are, angry at how ICE is rounding up people (when they aren’t shooting them), imprisoning them in inhumane conditions, shackling them to airplane seats for 17 hours to fly them to far-off countries and dump them there, often traumatizing them and their families in the process, but Tom Homan is mad because as a public face of that effort, the public loathes him on sight.
Seriously, listen to this garbage, which we have transcribed in case you can’t follow Tom Homan’s impression of a guy trying to talk through a mouthful of ball bearings:
“Guys, ICE agents are moms and dads too. They don’t hang their heart on a hook every day to do this job. And it’s not just attacking the ICE agents, attacking their spouses and children, and no one knows that better than me. I can’t even go get a quart of milk at a grocery store without a security detail. Why? Because I’m enforcing laws of this country. It’s pathetic, and it’s disgusting.”
Aw, shucks. We’re sure hearing this will get all those hundreds of kids you’ve had locked up for months in the Dilley Immigration Detention Center to quit their whining about moldy food and lack of clean drinking water. Maybe they’ll all put out a statement of support. Leave Tom Homan alone, he’s only doing his job of making sure we can’t go to elementary school!
Christ, the whining. If you don’t want to be publicly accountable to taxpayers, don’t go into public service.
Homan has been on a public relations tour in recent days, and for the life of us, we can’t figure out why. Maybe Donald Trump ordered him to get out there and forcefully defend the administration’s immigration policies. Maybe the nation’s immigration agents are feeling demoralized, and he thinks complaining to the public like he’s yelling at a waiter because his coq au vin is too dry will fix things.
Telling the public to "shut their mouths" or there will be more bloodshed is a surefire way to get the public to yell louder. Telling people that there won’t be a problem if they simply comply with whatever order the unqualified and emotionally unstable meatheads you send out on the streets throw out will not quiet anything down. You’re not getting paid with taxpayer money so you can turn around and threaten the taxpayers for protesting your dickish behavior.
There have been a couple of other talking points Homan has been hammering in his recent run of media appearances, and he repeated those on Monday. One complaint critics have made is that immigration agents haven’t been wearing body cameras as they are supposed to do. If you guessed that the reason Homan claims not all of them are wearing body cameras yet is because of the Democrats, congratulations, we award you no points because that was too obvious:
“When the Democrats shut the government down, I was part of that negotiation team up on the Hill ... I said, well, there’s $120 million in the bill you’re holding up for me to buy the body cameras. So the reason there is not body cameras nationwide right now is because they shut the government down. And anybody don’t believe that? Look it up.”
We did look it up, and Homan may not believe this, but the Republican party held the majority in both houses of Congress during the shutdown earlier this year. Why could they not pass a funding bill for the Department of Homeland Security? We don’t know, ask them.
For that matter, DHS didn’t completely stop immigration enforcement during the shutdown; agencies just had to prioritize how and where their reduced funding got spent. In any case, the shutdown has been over for almost three months. Recently, ICE has ramped up arrests to previously unseen highs. Ask DHS why they didn’t prioritize rolling out body cameras nationwide before ramping up arrests. If you think the cameras are so important, this would seem to be quite an oversight.
Another complaint of Homan’s is whining that people, particularly members of Congress, are calling ICE fascists and Nazis just for enforcing the country’s laws. Which is unfair; we have also been calling ICE fascists and Nazis because they keep terrorizing minority communities while gunning down unarmed protesters who are no threat to them.
Beyond that, Tom, buddy, do we have some news for you: the Nazis were also enforcing laws that their nation’s lawmakers had written. Go look up the Nuremberg Laws and how they were enforced. Then get back to us if you still have questions. But we promise you, I vaz only following orders is not going to result in you being able to buy milk without people yelling at you for the rest of your miserable life. Frankly, if that’s the worst thing that happens to you when you finally shuffle out of the White House for good — and we mean if you and others somehow escape real trials and tribunals to hold you accountable for your actions, the kind that comes at the end of any era of tyrants — then you can consider yourself lucky.
And if you have a calcium deficiency and are too chickenshit to go to the grocery store lest someone yell at you, order a supplement online. You can always piss in your morning bowl of bran flakes if they are too dry.
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Thoughts'n'prayers, you fascist murderer.
Aah, the “bulbous-headed poop oaf”. No better descriptor will ever be promulgated.